Good reason to be Away from work? Beginning of My Turn of 2x

Errh, I dont typically scream out loud about my birthday, let alone hold a celebration. Usually it would be dinner and a cake with my immediate family. But this year, with itchy fingers and brains, I decided to host a dinner party.

Guess what, I get a day off from work too! haah thats because I will still have 20 days left after taking one off today.

Still, it feels good, and I feel that my schedule is begnning to be hectic. Woke up at 6:30am, and went to Killiney for breakfast with Gui.

Came home, stuck to the news on TV and online, read up on investments - nothing exciting really, its just unpredictability in the turmoil..best strategy for a prudent investor - do nothing and read and understand for now.

Just made a donation to Thien Nhan, the toddler who survived after being partly eaten by wild dogs in the jungle.

I am attending Hatha yoga at Pacific Plaza and will need to leave the house in 20 mins time.

Ooh, brother just called me from Australia to wish me Happy Birthday too!

Will be meeting my mum for quick lunch later and will walk around Takashimaya. Je Taime is having a 30%-40% sale, will walk in for a feast of the eyes and some education on fine jewellery...

Hopefully a foot rub to end the evening - and then dinner with Mr Gui. More importantly my discipline to chant tonight.

Thats my birthday plan - sounds hectic?? - ;-)

Understanding Confessions

On Saturday evening, I celebrated my 29th birthday with a few close friends at home. Mr Gui planned every detail of the dinner - marinated the lamb four days ago, drew out a menu & pinned it on the refrigerator and basically gave Sumini a briefing on the sequence of the dishes and the cutleries required.

On Saturday afternoon, we went to Great World to pick up fresh tomatoes and a tub of Lemon Sherbet. I remember telling him "Hey, sorry ah, crowds usually give me a headache, and the cold in a supermarket usually makes me sick.. so I'll wait for you outside with a coffee from Da Paolo ;) "... Without much of a choice, he continued scrutinizing through the many different choices of tomatoes on the rack....

Once he grabbed the Lemon Sherbet, he said "Run, Run Run, I don't want it to melt!"

At around 4:30pm, we starting laying the table together. He decided on the choice of the table mats, and the type of glasses and cups to be used. If there is anything that was the best present, it was him - the knight that stood out in the shining apron!

I have not been writing. Not a suprise isnt it? The market is in a turmoil - creating excitment plus weariness in all financial institutions. The investment banking model has now broken down. Bear Sterns disappeared in March when it was bought by JPMorgan. Lehman and Merrill Lynch have had money-losing quarters since the credit crunch started last year. Merrill Lynch is acquired by Bank of America, and Lehman collapsed last week. The last two standing IB - Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley have just been approved to become banks.

Last night, mum-in-law gave us a mini class on our prayer session. "You have been chanting on Confessions, but do you know what it is?"

Here's part I

3 obstacles related to our Body = Killing, Stealing, Sexual Misconduct

4 obstacles related to our Voice = Lying, Slander, Harsh Speech, Idle Gossip

All obstacles connected to our Body, Speech and Mind = Covetousness, Malicious Intent, Wrong View

3 + 4 + 3 = The 10 Non-Virtous Actions

DILEMMA & TUMBLE

This week was stressful and tiring. Whats new right? The work stress, its just getting into me. Its not even about the technicalities of the work. That you can understand - or eventually fully grasp it with a logical mind. The humans make it trickier. As Mr P once puts it, humans are a lot more complex to understand than the financial markets.


Funny enough J is fundamentally going through the exact same phase as me - somewhat in terms of job satisfaction, and liking things that are forbidden. I have not been doing my spiritual reading, but since J commented today "I feel like my life has no purpose." I picked up Dr K Sri D's "The Purpose of Life". I read today:


The Buddha has classified humankind into four groups:

1. One who works for his own good, but not for the good of others;
2. One who works for the good of others, but not for his own good;
3. One who works neither for his own good nor for the good of others; and
4. One who works for his own good as well as for the good of others.

To elaborate:
Pt 2: One who works for the good of others, but not for his own good - it is he who encourages others to abolish evil thoughts, words and actions but does not strive for the abolition of greed, hate and delusion in himself.

Pt 3: One who works neither for his own good nor for the good of others - it is he who neither strives for the abolition of evil thoughts, words and actions in himself, nor does he encourage others to abolish greed, hate and delusion.



This weekend, I spent some good time with Mummy getting a hair trim together, and then late lunch and a chocolate cake to follow. Counting on my simple pleasures to tide me through... Having a cold now in fact - I guess I'll be sleeping quite soundly tonight ;)

How do you Manage Stress - Olympic teaches a lesson or two

Well, I was not at work this morning. Out sick and basically slept the entire day. Now I realize how tired I have been. Am I tired? Unmotivated? or Stressed out? Its eating into me :(

Tea @ Trump Tower?

Its often willpower, not just physical strength, that helps an athlete win. (The Straits Times, June Cheong) Indeed willpower is the key to want to suceed in any matters, but what do you do if you feel bruised and down? Where do you tap the energy to pick yourself up again?

Jog around Manhattan Apple Store?

Just be alone?


Be in tune with nature? (Upper East Side, Central Park)

It has been four months and three weeks. Have I really been happy? Enough of me. Today's Straits Times on Under Medal Stress is of relevance. "Olympians like Michael Phelps and Yao Ming may carry the weight of national expectations on their shoulders, but ordinary folk have to contend with other pressures - like looming w0rk deadlines, barking clients or late buses." Here are some tips summarized:

Bouncing back from mistakes

Sporting events are all about being faster, stronger and better than the competition. So athletes have to learn to snap back to form quickly after making an error. They are told not to dwell on past mistakes and to always seek closure.

One method Ms Andrea Furst, head of sports psychology at Singapore Sports Council, uses is to feed cue words to athletes such that when they think of these words, they stop the negative thought stream immediately. She said: "We teach athletes to use their thoughts to dictate their attitudes."

Goal setting

Learn to distinguish between what's within your control and what's not. Whenever pressure hits, negativity fills our mind much more easily. Instead of hitting the panic button, think clearly of what you need to do next and go back to what's within your control.

Learning to concentrate

Prior to the Olympics, China's sports system set up counselling websites, and introduced (among other things) meditation and yoga to help ease the athletes' pressure. Ms Furst: Learning how to meditate or control your breathing is fantastic for training your power to focus. If you can relax your mind, you can switch on and off at will.

Rest today, peak tomorrow

Athletes call it periodisation. They stress and rest their bodies in alternation constantly. People under long periods of stress should look at ways to relax, like running or having a good meal. Rest helps you to keep performing at your best and is not unproductive.

Hmm, rest.. thats what I am doing today...

WHILE WATCHING OLYMPICS

This may be the longest time I take to write an entry. Oh well, having my laptop right in front of the TV, as I became a couch potato today glued to the Gold Medal matches of Olympics - Basketball and Volleyball.

Pictures taken from Times Square & Fifth Avenue stroll in Manhattan.

Why I chose this? Cheesy, but I am having a coke now [the coke side of life..??] while enjoying the Olympic sport [okay that was taken from the World of Disney store]. Donald Trump - do I need to say more -Thinking Big is definitely closely related to the Olympic honours.


The Olympic games - it is not only about watching the world's best clinch their titles. Most memorable to me was the Men's Vollyball Gold Medal Match. I remember how Clayton Stanley from the USA team screwed up the first two spikes in exactly the same manner; but how he was eventually one of the key player who helped the team secured the gold. I remember his expression - how he was unhappy with himself initially, but eventually see the fire, determination and focus in his eyes. Equally impressive (very) was Giba, to me one of the best players in the Brazil team. To me, he played with perfection and wits. He pointed to his head - probably reminding his team-players to not only play with good physical strength and stamina, but with intelligence. What touched my heart most, was reading the news thereafter. The U.S. coach's father-in-law was stabbed to death in Beijing.

While reading the Heart Sutra comic, here's one that striked my mind: Although we have not changed, we cannot deny changes in external factors. The essence of living is to continually dissolve into space and time in which we happen to be. Therefore, we should face reality instead of fooling ourselves in daydreams.

Easier said than done. Is this a challenge I have to go through now? Accept whatever is presented to me? Dissolve in it. If I succeed in dissolving in it, am I a success (even though I am unhappy? or am i supposed to find a way to be happy dissolving in it?)?

Also, why did you have to contact me? I succeeded well for three days (oops only three? seems like a long period of time)...

Dissolve...[easier said than done!!]

Relaxing Sunday Morning at Botanic Gardens


Sumini is off today, so Irwin and I decided to take Bobby to Botanic for his morning walk. In touch with nature, nothing can be better. We walked for an hour, and then settled for brunch.

Feeling a walk was inadequate for weekend fun, I decided to go for Yoga in the afternoon!

While waiting for class to start, I had a book in my hand while I warmed up. I think this paragraph has its truth, although I could not help giggling while reading and warming up.

Mortals are healthy or unhealthy, happy or unhappy, strong or weak, alive or dead, in the proportion that they think thoughts of health or illness, strength or weakness. Your body, like all other material things, manifests only what your mind entertains in belief.

In a general way you have often noticed this yourself. A man with an ugly disposition (which is a mental state) will have harsh, unlovely features. One with a gentle disposition will have a similing and serene countenance. All the other organs of the human body are equally responsive to thought. Who has not seen the face become red with rage or white with fear? Who has not known of people who become desperately ill following an outburst of temper? Physicians declare that just as fear, irritability and hate distort the features, they likewise distort the heard, stomach and liver.

I wont explain why I giggled. But think about it, have you not had such thoughts and wonder? Humour aside, consider what this book is trying to explain.

Finally, and seriously, consider taking up Yoga - I think it really helps to focus and strenghten the mind - and at the same time quieten and calm down the mind! After yoga, I was happy and rejuvenated.

Our Morning Visit

Well I have not visited Shifu in awhile. This morning, Irwin and I drove down to Lucky Heights, munching Old Chang Kee curry puffs and spring rolls on our ride down.

It is always calming to visit him. When we first sat down, I didn't even have to open my mouth.

"Your work is currently very tough."

He went on to say that sometimes the unhappiness can be self-created.

Similar to what I have thought through - this is the current culture of the team... very different to what I have been exposed to, but I should focus on the responsibilities given and think of nothing else.



After I have been doing this for long, it will get better... thats what Shifu told me when I first chatted with him on whether I should change to a different product line back in January 08.

It is important to learn from the people around you.





Build the experience.

At this point, even if I made mistakes, it is okay.



I don't deny I feel tired from the current workload and high expectations. But I guess I chose this path myself. I gave up my cushy role to learn something new from the bottom. I have to learn to enjoy this new stress - life is about evolution and progression isn't it?

That is the price I pay for hating anything static. Yes I did progress =). Met a very good yoga teacher yesterday.



Today, Irwin and I took a jog to Chancery Lane. When we came back, we were hungry, and I (hee hee hee) picked up cooking! Cooked my first dish in Sg! Well, I didnt exactly cook. I was in charge of cutting up the onions, chilli and canned pork (not bad!! onions and chilli are a challenge for a beginner!). I think I can like cooking after all. Gonna start trying - pick up a cook book and explore a bit every weekend. Wish me luck ;)

The WRAF WRAF week and How I deal

This entry is an update of my rough week and how I kinda survived. To start with, it is month end week (from a controller's perspective).

Month-end, I have developed a luff-hate relationship with this process called Mark Review (where you assess your traders' positions and see that it is valued in line with market and other documented methodologies). It is a teeeedious process, yet extremely interesting - and there is no better way to learn and understand a commodity's value than going through this Mark Review process. Its tough - I had to learn the process under crazy conditions before my team-mate went for maternity leave.. but here I am - I have sorta survived this second round. Late nights, early starts, lots of starbucks, teh ci xiu dai, 100 plus - all to focus for building the curves and understanding how the new Gasoils traded in July are valued.... and did I mention - the stress of the Access database not functioning as well as you would like it?!!!

During this week, I also received two rather shocking news. My
university mate's dad has just passed away - and so did one of my colleague's mother. Hey, we are talking about a generation above us (now!!) It used to be Grand - something, but now its starting to be just a generation above us. Due to the late nights @ work, I couldnt even attend the wake...

The friendship with I seems to have died off a little. He is either very very caught up at work, or put off by the fact that I speak about Gui and my in-laws, or feeling guility hehehe... ooh whatever, let it be. This is a situation which I have anticipated as one of the outcomes when I embarked on the friendship. But at least I felt I have learnt a lot too from this friebdship. Be it from books, music, sports, leading a balanced life-style, unwinding tips, good sleeping habits etc.... During the work week, I almost felt like giving up on the job again - but when it comes to weekend, it feels that everything is A-ok... I can do it, I can probably survive another crazy month-end round. I probably learned more in the past three months compared to my entire two years in the bank!


This morning, Gui and I took the makansutra book and decided to explore the Havelock road area. With a book in my hand, we explored 22A Havelock road for some simple fares. Always nice to feel a bit like a tourist, be curious and exploratory.

Its Saturday afternoon now - I know - its a bit too early in the weekend to be reflective? But yes I am feeling so - not much of an energy to look at investments (after the wraf wraf week)... I think I will leave. Was supposed to look at the performance evaluation process this year for my job - Ade has been chasing me to be more proactive about it, but I am exhuasted and I guess I'll leave. Weekend time - its too precious to spend it on matters that matter - but doesnt add a relaxing, unwinding touch to it... (or am I lazy?!!)

The Olympics opening ceremony was a WOO! The chinese athletes are also all nervous about competing on their home grounds. What some of their coaches are doing is to prevent them from speaking with the press, and that they do yoga. Yes, thats what I will do later. Stroll to Great World - and its time to take a more serious approach to yoga - it has to progress!

What are you working for?

Its hectic during the weekdays. Seems to be fighting fire daily. An ex-colleague called me twice this week and asked if I was interested to join his company - promising a very attractive pay package and work hours. Pondered, but no at this point, I do not feel like stepping back into audit. Working in a bank has its perks. You are near the market movers - you see and hear their market perspectives, and hear from the best brains - their problems/ issues. Nope, $ cannot be everything.

Had a really balanced weekend this time. Swam in the morning on Saturday; and in the evening, with a touch of more culture, went to attend a song concert at the Drama Centre Theatre @ the National Library. It was a performance mainly put up by doctors - they can sing!!! We went specially to support Dr Loh - the tickets in support of her goes to charity - so it was a culturally charitable evening. That aside, it was really enjoyable to bask in live music.

Sunday - Gui and I went for McDonalds breakfast along Scotts Road. Was a quick one by the roadside since he had to returned to work. In the afternoon, I went to buy two more CDs. Coldplay's new album (for Gui) and High Society - Jazz in the city 2. Was not that cheap since these are new releases. But music to me is like life's simple pleasures. Hmm, I enjoy it and I feel a certain high when I hear music I like - Do you??!

Took a cab and then went for wall climbing. This time I climbed (nearly) non-stop for two hours. Fun and I learned to tie the knots these time. Not something I will usually do but you goto know if you wana explore this sport. I also had to learn to support my climbing partner who is probably more than two times heavier than me?? I flew up when he was coming down (we did a trial) - eventually I had to be tied to the gate behind (like a dog's leash) so I wouldn't fly. It worked, although I was still lifted slightly mid-air (with legs off the ground) when he was coming down... Took a short swim after that to cool down and to enjoy the sunshine and breeze.

So, what am I working for? Apart from job satisfaction (which might slip from time to time); trying to survive the stress - came up with a new motto "No fears, No worries" which my team-mate laughed at me (but hey I think it works; To paraphrase Thackeray -- "The world is a looking-glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own thought.") -- its also to afford my life's simple pleasures. I feel fortunate at this age that I dont have real financial burden to worry about - no debt, no loans, parents are also not asking for financial support -- At this point, its to afford my life's simple pleasures -- without a worry.

Feel like writing, out of the blue....

How many of us out there are really happy with what we have found in our life? How many of us out there are actually confused with what we really want?

Today I met up with a old friend for lunch. He has beeing seeing a girl for 10 months, and he looked blissed. Very happy for him.

I don't know how to explain my situation, but I am glad that my religion has stayed with me. In tough times, your mind is your strongest support (much as you can listen to the advice of people around you, it is limited).

Maybe I wish that things could be different, but for now I know I am remaining disciplined.

My sweet colleague passed me a book... here is an extract: By changing yourself, by realising the nature of self through selflessness, self-discipline and self-exertion, you can achieve perfection. By achieving perfection, your life becomes meaningful and you can tender great service to others. People will be inspired by your example; they will follow you and also achieve the common aim in life.

Maybe thats how I should live my life... its no longer about wants.. but perhaps making the best use of the precious and limited lifespan that each of us are given... we'll see...

but hey this is not an entry on pessimism - just trying to find myself...

My weekend...the time I look forward to..

Started my Saturday at Takashimaya at the pots section. Taka had a good promotion yesterday. With every $100 you spent, you get $10 cash voucher in return (with the Taka Platinum card). Spent about an hour there, and my friend bought about $1,500 worth of pots and pans. Hee, I used my card, and we managed to get $100 worth of Taka vouchers - which we utilized on the day itself.

Funny promotion. Even the pots and pans were discounted at 30%. Good buy. And I thought the the Great Singapore Sale was over last weekend?!

Went to Wheelock - sent in the ipod for a second time! and quickly grabbed a shampoo.

Bought a hot chocolate from Coffee Bean and finally could calm down and walked over to Mogu Mogu for lunch. After lunch, I walked home from Far East. Don't know how long it took, but with my ipod stuck in my ears, and in high heels, I walked along Stevens Road. Funny, but I do enjoy such moments alone. Reached home - a little sweaty, I napped... and then headed to the pool for a swim and a read of The Last Chinese Chef.

In the evening, I had to attend a friend's father's 60th birthday dinner. Survivable...heehee. It was an architect's home. Done up nicely with calligraphy, art sculptures, buddhism art, and Tibetan sculptures. Very good food provided too - oysters, fondue, chesse and crackers, wine... But I didnt find anyone stimulating enough to speak to at the party. Pleasant conversations... Took off at about 9pm.

Sunday - not much of a splash... listening to Diana Krall now. Gonna run around the hills in the sun in a bit! Thats how I feel alive... dont know what else I'll be doing this evening. Trying to remain disciplined not to login to work - probably read a book and see what else exciting might happen?!!!

Applicable to my work now is an extract that I read today:

Whether a life situation is wonderful or not depends on the way your mind perceives and interprets it. You can choose to label an experience "wonderful" or "a problem." It depends completely upon your mind, upon your interpretation.

Kyabje Lama Zopa Rinpoche

Meanwhile, enjoy this song by Diana Krall: Lets fall in Love.

Mid-week back-breaking update

We had a mini farewell dinner last Sunday as one of the families would be relocating to Canada - another country to look forward to in terms of exploration.

Phew.. Back breaking.. yes indeed... I wonder how long I can hang on to this. All the mental persuasion I have been telling myself. To Conquer, to conquer... No doubt though, I have been learning a lot a lot a lot... but the rate of learning and pace of working is rather killing... hoping to stabilize in a matter of three more months...

Diana Krall.. she is coming to Singapore! How timely! Listening to The look of love right now while typing this. She is coming on September 26... just two days after my birthday! I have to attend this - the question is with who.. I was speaking with hubby and he didnt seem to think much about her - goto watch it with someone who appreciates no? concerts are about the experience and yea its not cheap too.....

Today is Chu Yi Shi Wu - hmm I believe its an important Buddhist day where we should eat vegetarian... but I have no idea what Chu Yi Shi Wu signifies...(pardon me but I had roast pork @ lunch since I had a Japanese visitor; and Auntie prepared Yu Sheng for dinner...hmm maybe she forgot too..hahaha)...

Life goes on...

Mystic Friend

Seems to be getting a bit more difficult in finding the time to write. Still, life is pointless without stopping periodically to reflect what has happened for the week or so...

Work-wise, the toughness has reduced slightly towards the end of the week. My mentor has advised me to keep a record of how time is spent daily in order to find out why we work late sometimes as it is not sustainable... (hee and my late was just two days at 9pm during month end... good that it caught his attention and he decided its not sustainable!). Some change management expected to come...!

We went to get the ipod touch fixed - and guess what - the apple service provider is exchanging an entirely new one for him! and it can be collected shortly next week! whoa... he was grinning from ear to ear and I kept teasing "how are you going to thank me for this new ipod?!!"... Very good after-sales from Apple I must say.

While waiting for the ipod touch to be diagnosed, we had an interesting conversation ranging from work (which we shouldn't have gotten there) to hmmm Buddhism! I always had this funny funny feeling at the back of my head that he could be inclined towards Buddhism - although extremely low chance & slightly ridiculous..and he really surprised me this time. His understanding of Buddhism (as compared to other religions as a choice) was very profound, and he has read books on Dalai Lama too. SHOCKING... what does he not explore?

Actually the more important step we took was to seat down, had a cold drink and figure out where this friendship was going. Luckily...phew..phew.. we decided that this is friendship - a friendship that is going from good to great, and since we make each other laugh so much, there is no reason to throw this away...So, we will continue to share books, music and movies to come!

Ok I bought two more CDs on Diana Krall this week... gotto share one video here at least ;)... Enjoy!

In Love with Music

This was the challenging work week - oh well I confess - I went back to the office on Saturday for half a day too. Not done - work will never get done. But today I really disciplined myself not to work - not to login - coz i know that even if there are problems, it would sort itself out during the work week. Work is a slice of life - it cannot be everything - some individuals recognize that - some don't/ won't.

This week, my new found music love was Diana Krall - a jazz singer - The Look of Love album. Happy to be discovering new music and feeling more alive. Also in a bit of opera mood this week... listening to Phantom of the Opera now. Also my sister's favourite - although we both agree that it can be quite scary to listen to that album in the night.

A colleague lent me his ipod Touch - kinda unlucky - the brightness went very dim after the battery went down to just 10% level; and now it never goes back to the usual brightness - can't see the screen clearly now unless there is lighting. I walked over to the ipod store today and the service provider is closed on a Sunday... Have to get it sorted - feeling bad (although I know its not my fault) - apparently its a known technical problem with the ipod Touch - but damn it has to happen when it is with me!! yeeks!

Life goes on - hoping this coming work week will be good - I'll be good & everything will be good. Maybe its not good enough to hope - I have not not be chanting - gosh what happened? I went to Mogu Mogu for lunch today and read the following. I know its a cliche but so often forgotten in our daily life.

Most people are always carrying the burden of the past, anticipating the future, while missing life in the present...Be a person who dissolves into the present.. Yeh!.. Do not be a slave who carries the burden of the past and anticipates the future. Yeh!.. Be like a boat that flows in time and space...Yeh!

I know what you are thinking.. whats with the language...oh well this is extracted from the comic on Heart Sutra - hai, so desu.

Do you listen to your Head or your Heart?


Not bad. Its month end +2 and I managed to take off work at 715pm.

Hmm, I don't really know what I want to write about today. It is just nice to have time in the evening to do your own private things... not that I had an easy day today.. Started work at 8am and worked non-stop both on a procedural and analytical way. I downed three cups of caffeine yesterday - today better only the usual two - and was treated to Aroma's coffee (can't complain!)

Can't help remembering a text - I didn't reply, but it doesn't mean I didnt pay attention to it. If I remember accurately ;) "Forbidden fruits will always seem sweeter, but it may not all be good for the body...one will usually have to pay for the repercussion later on..."

This week, I have been using music to accompany me. I have been introducted to Cesaria Evora. Love it... I don't understand the language, but the songs are really beautiful. Aiya I am not funky enough to add music to the blog. If someone is willing to share (the most easy & efficient way please) how, I will be willing to share it on the blog too ;)

Just have to keep focused for this month end and hopefully all will go smooth...

Life

Back in October 2007 when I was visiting New York, I joined two Australian ladies on a ferry ride to a treat of the Statue of Liberty - a symbol seen many times in movies. Although I did not get off the ferry to explore the island further, it was memorable to witness the monumental work of sculpture.

In the design stage, it was originally supposed to be a lantern and a headdress, which was later refashioned and proposed to be a torch and crown of rays respectively ("Liberty Enlightening the World").

It is not just a statue - liberty comes at a cost as we all know.

On Saturday, I joined my bank's Volunteer Group event to the zoo. We brought about 80 kids to the zoo. I am not sure why they were categorized as requiring volunteer care although they had Care teachers. When I asked the Care teachers why, it was because they generally come from complex family backgrounds and the lower academic strata in Sg - i.e. perhaps on the brim or line of swinging both ways - be good - or turn bad (and join triads perhaps??!)



My family - funny weekend I say - Dad flew off for work. Bro took off for New Zealand, Sis flew off to Dubai for work - oops and Mum is all alone at home.. well I guess it is also a good time for her to do the things she really wants to..









Sunday morning was brilliant. Started off with coffee and toast at the pool; a swim; and lazing around at the pool. In the afternoon a colleague and I brought a Hong Kong visitor for dim sum. We headed to St Regis for coffee after that. Excellent excellent ambience... but the coffee quality was - to my standard disappointing! Hee and we ended the evening with a foot and back massage together...haha teaching the girl to pamper herself since she works sooo hard during the weekdays.


So here I am back home, preparing to start a new week of challenge. I must admit I have not really done my prayers or read religiously this week. I have also ..sigh.. been naughty this weekend... too much texting...oops dangerous maybe?!

The Forbidden Phase...

Its 1130pm...
Seating here by myself in front of the laptop that accompanied me faithfully throughout my one year stint in Tokyo.
Not funny, Mr Gui is not home yet at this hour!
Not a rare moment at this timing...

I had a very interesting lunch with one of the traders this afternoon. So far coffee chats and a meal have really taught me a thing or two. Of significance:

".. Don't be jealous, you are only limited by your imagination!" (although this was related to a travel conversation rather than work)

@ today's lunch, A was telling me how he was recruited and had to fly to London for an interview. He turned down Goldman's attractive offer which many in the industry thought he was mad. If he went to GM, he would have been offered a higher designation and would be heading a team. I thought it was a ridiculous offer at his age. But he says "nothing is ridiculous in this world, just look at Facebook which is now valued at a whopping $15 billion". In my bank, he wasn't offer that but he decided it wouldnt be GM. Still... at a tender age of 3X, I would label him as extremely successful. He repeatedly said, "at the end of the day, its about knowing what you want".

It is not always the man who struggles hardest who gets on in the world. It is the direction as well as the energy of struggle that counts in making progress. To get ahead -- you must swim with the tide. Men prosper and succeed who work in accord with natural forces. A given amount of effort with these forces carries a man faster and farther than much more effort used against the current. Those who work blindly, regardless of these forces, make life diffcult for themselves and rarely prosper. -- Robert Collier

I now know better the formula for career...but who is going to give me some proper guidance on managing a relationship?

Before Nov 15 @ Brooklyn Bridge walk + Times Square....and Now after Nov 15...

Ok, I have been lazy. These are pictures during my vacation in 2007 which I have not posted, and I guess I will not write more about the trip since pictures are supposed to say a thousand words...

Why Nov 15? Well, its the date I got engaged. Thinking back, I had to stroll romantic Brooklyn Bridge alone - well I enjoyed it - but still I was alone. After Nov 15's engagement right now.. I am still alone. If I had more energy I would have written a post "The Frustrations of Loving an Entrepreneur".. well I believe anyone who is dating an entrepreneur now would agree with me on the challenges and compromises required. Its bloody tough.. but what to do... he will say "I am working so hard now because I want to provide for you."... What can you or anyone do about that?!! Ok don't want to spoil the mood of the pictures below. Hopefully calmer by the time I reach the end of the post...

I did read an extract last night - although relating to understanding of the Dharma, I find it applicable to daily life.

Outward Distraction

A distracted mind will not be able to concentrate. To improve our practice, it would be better to minimize activities that may cause us to lose our focus, such as partying, "nightclubbing" and gossiping, as it is very easy for our minds to become attached to objects that attract our six sense of six consciousness, which are our eyes, nose, tongue, ears, touch and mind.

The eye consciousness is attracted to form, which could be objects or the human body. Many of us appreciate the sight of a beautiful man or woman. Appreciation by itself is fine. But when desire and attachment accompany appreciation, this might lead to complications such as martial or relationship problems. Usually, the desire to possess is something due to the eye consciousness. When we see something that we like, it is desire that drives us to possess it. Hence, this makes us work hard for our beautiful houses and cars. However, having worked to hard to acquire the object, once it has been possessed, our euphoria is brief, and the suffering we have in the form of the big loan repayment is long.

So, being easily distracted by objects of the six senses may cause us to act rashly and irrationally.

So we must learn to be less attached to objects, and learn to control our minds.

~ from a Precious Gift by 12th Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche

I'm trying to be good, you know?


Thats Bergdorf Goodman (BG) on Fifth Avenue. The window displays are all an art by itself. Sorry I don't have a more ideal picture. It is simply a place for sophisticated shopping.. and time to keep your camera in your bag!

I remember walking through the uncluttered displays, organized departments and helpful staff, whilst soaking in the air of sophistication.

Today I received a gift from BG. A gift delicately wrapped up in a silver BG box, and elegantly contrasted with a lilac BG ribbon.

Strangely enough, I felt a little sad/ depressed when I reach home. I am beginning to feel a bit confused about all these. What is the intention? Kind as it is, sweet as it is, caring as it is...shouldn't there be a line? Someone is going to get hurt in the end isn't it?

Another reason that I felt a bit down was because my favourite team-mate wasn't around today..ah i am starting to sound childish... no one to really chat with, no one to say cheers to...

Last week's MR training was really tough too. This paragraph which I also shared with my team-mate brightened me up a little (last week).

A good student must learn to extract the essence of his teacher's teachings like bees extract nectar from the flower. At the same time, the good student must remember to water and look after the flower, as the bee still needs to make honey. - 12th Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche

I feel uneasy.