Am I ready?..Settling Down...or Dreaming Big?

So I got engaged last week. I had an interesting lunch with one of my ex-colleagues where we both shared the same concerns as women. Do we utilize our intelligence and capabilities as support for establishing a new family? Or should we focus on building up our career; landing a more aggressive role - but of course this might mean the relationship taking on a less focus in terms of time devotion.

Pros of being Hero Support

- Most successful men I know do not have their partners working. In fact, the leading lady plays a support role in terms of finance management, coordination, sanity check, social schedule, PR. If the men is properly supported, he can bring in more bread, which is better for the long-term benefits of the couple.

- Women have a biological clock limitation. Having a less aggressive career or staying home may mean better physical conditions to have a baby.

- Look less haggard (which is what a lot of men want probably).

- Potential relationship friction if the lady outshines the man in shining armour.

- Less conversations on how frustrating work has been or politics @ work (even if the guy tries to lend his ears to be supportive, I believe they would prefer not to hear such grumbles).

Pros of pursuing an aggressive career

- self satisfaction, achievements & tangible monetary rewards.

- conversations would not be limited to price of vegetables @ NTUC.

Like it or not, the human existence is precious. We pondered about how much potential lies within our body. Without any constraints, could we bring more meaning, benefits and advantages to life.

I need confidence and courage to make a life-changing decision. Still pondering over the pros and cons, but I guess whatever the choice is, as long as I am committed to using my human existence in a positive way, that is probably the right choice.

Sense of Urgency

This week was extremely fulfilling, with events packed tightly each day. Hoo! Last minute preparation on Wednesday evening for the Engagement dinner; Woke up early on Thursday morning to exchange rings, engagement dinner in evening to follow; and Friday morning coffee meeting with a MD. Adrenaline I will call it! Relatives mingled well, okay but with the exception of the kids table -- we forgot that at the age of puberty, that is the age you Dont Want to Socialize with the opposite sex.

With so much love and delight at the dinner, Irwin & I feel re-charged to conquer the world..haha, re-charged with goals to wana build a better life together.

My Friday morning meeting further gave me a motivational boost. Of significance during the meeting, that drives me (crazy) during this weekend was his question "Are you where you are today because of conscious decisions you have made along your life? Or as a matter of events, circumstances, or your family, that brought you to where you are?"

I just watched an episode of Heros Season II. During this one hour, there was also the question: Are you a robot or an alien? Because robots follow, whereas aliens be what they want to be.

Suddenly I feel charged with a sense of urgency.

Not the Tallest

The world's tallest man-made structure is now the Taipei 101 Tower. However I have never quite heard of it. I was lucky enough though to have landed on The Empire State Building, the tallest and most famous skyscraper in new York.

The queue was kinda endless, but lucky for that I also met two Australian ladies whom I travelled with for the rest of the day. I remember it costs US$18, a two dollar increase from my guide book. Some areas in the interior were also under renovation - rather unglamorous. Queen Elizabth II had been at the Observatory to gaze down at the City - so I have to do it too!

On the 86th floor observatory (320m above the city), you can see breakthtaking views of the city. To me, what was amazing wasnt the "beauty" of the city (like you would expect from the Eiffel Tower)-- rather it was the tall, packed buildings, which signifies tons of activities, business transactions going on to build this giant economy. The Chrysler Building (center, silverish, pointed) definitely adds a touch of difference or you can call it grace, to the skyline.

This week was definitely hectic again. So much so that I had to ask for a one-on-one with my boss to discuss the mounting workload. He was cool. He offered me compromises to every problem I brought up. I think I might just be quite lucky to be working with him directly.

Saturday didnt cease to slow down. My bf put down every item in his PDA with an alarm, and we basically followed a planned (and stressful) schedule to complete the muliple tasks we wanted to achieve this weekend.

We kicked off with a morning visit to the hospital, then headed to Friend Art to buy papers & stickers because his mum would like to see everyone with a table name tag during Thursday's dinner. We also bought a Japanese theme paper so that we could print the family tree chart for both families & relatives. We then collected our engagement bands, and then went off to Raoul to buy a shirt for the dinner. Finally I slowed down by having facial with my mummy at Thomson. In the evening, it was followed by dinner with bf's sister, who returns from London only once a year. After dinner, we had to put our origami skills to the test, and started cutting, writing, putting stickers for every guests on Thursday. I was dead beat by midnight, and couldnt even spell some of my cousins' names properly... All of this.. just for an engagement dinner? I am determined to keep my wedding dinner really small. Maybe 15 tables.

Finally the chaos stopped a little on Sunday. I could write my blog, pay my bills, and took out Ajahn Brahm's book to read. Funny enough, the new chapter I am embarking on is "Love and commitment". It talked about unconditional love - it means opening the door of your heart to somebody else, with no 'ifs'.

Want to share a comedy I have been watching in NYC. I had endless dosage of Sex in the City, Family Guy, and Kathy Griffin. Here's two of her clips!

Kathy Griffin on Ryan Seacrest

The Real Greener Pastures



On my first visit to Central Park, I strolled for three hours at Manhattan's finest. I even went back for a second visit, refusing to take the Crosstown bus. Just read on the press that Central park recently launched a new activity - riding a horse through Central Park!

Well, I usually dont blog so quickly, especially following one I posted just yesterday evening. But I am feeling really Glump. Worked late, feeling too much deadlines pressure, no time to eat. I think I need to bring up all these issues during the one-on-one meeting. Had to do my own P&L, review my team's, cover for my team-mate on vacation, make sure systems are up and ready otherwise I have to kick off an issue with the IT as early as possible, make sure the team goes off on time, and deal with my own gastric problems....cant believe it, the drama can simply go on...



While I grumbled to my bf and mum late in the night (this zaps energy too!), I was at the same time wondering if I could ever be as calm as Lama Shifu whenever I feel Frustration. He is so gentle and wise when he provides direction and guidance, and nothing seems to ever rock him of his calmness. I guess I still have a lot to learn. Awareness brings conviction. Hopefully this understanding will bring about determination to change for the better. Will put in more effort to establish this new habit!

NEW YORK: MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY

One of my most enjoyable museum visit was American Museum of Natural History. I spent three hours in the museum but could only cover less than half (damn). Its hard to describe, but its perhaps like our own Science Centre, only that it is many many times better. It was highly recommended by my colleagues and in guidebooks, and I could see why. Although I was walking, exploring and talking to myself most of the time "Whooaaa", "So longggg", blah blah, it was inspirational to be close to nature & how different lives started (or ended). Due to time constraint, I had to look at the Floor plan and prioritize where I should head to.

I walked to the Dinosaurs section first. Well you will think its just fossils right, but I was amazed by the size of these extinct creatures. These fossils were interesting and kinda cute, but I started to imagine how threatening it would be, if really, they are still roaming around...My next destinations were the Mammal Halls and Ocean Life. Greeting you in Ocean Life is a 94-foot-long model of a blue whale - the largest animal ever to roam the planet. My last destination was the Hall of Human Origins.. I captured some cool and scary photos of skeletons (of humans) but I guess I will leave those out for now.

I have been so busy this week. At work, meetings with visitors from London, Tokyo and Hong Kong. I also had to rush an overdue Performance Evaluation submission.

At personal, planning for the engagement dinner. Bf and I decided to get our butts moving after his mother seems to be planning everything -- from food tasting, selecting the resturant, getting the cake. Today, we finally did something. We came up with the seating list, drew a family tree organization chart (as requested by auntie), and got myself a champagne and black dress.

Daily visits to the hospital. Funny to say, it was tiring to head to the hospital each time, yet it was enjoyable to be spending so much more time with Granny. My life stages and priorities are clearing changing..hopefully with more positive changes each time!