Appreciating Life

I have been feeling busy and tired. TD caught stomach flu from his parents. Recovered with just probiotics, so I should feel happy. Then there are always family issues, pulling me back from getting back to my work momentum.

However, tonight, two issues touched my heart.

1) I just realised that my helper who is close to 40 was trying for a kid before she was asked persistently by MIL to come back to Singapore to help. After this contract, she will go back and continue her family planning as she currently has one daughter only. I felt touched. Imagine being at 40, she gave up her own family planning to come to foreign land to help out another family's baby. Based on her medical checkup, she is still able to have babies, so she will continue her plan when she returns.

2) I watched the Marine Parade GRC short rally between PAP and NSP (while pumping milk). Not sure why I got emotional and sobbed! Somehow I felt that whichever party wins, the fact is there are people who would step up to fight for values or justice they believe in. Their decisions can impact/ benefit millions of people (lets not talk about the unhappy minority - there will always be people unhappy whenever a policy has to be made - with this, neither does this indicate that I am a PAP supporter either).

I used to talk a lot about politics when younger. I questioned my Dad, Why this, Why that? Why is it like this? Then, one day while in the car, my Dad said, in Singapore, this is a country, if you don't like its politics, you leave the country. His point was, no point questioning it(maybe I was asking too much questions). With that, I stopped all politics inquisitiveness till now! Till I saw and read more about Nicole Seah.

The point is, there are people out there who are willing to serve the country for the good of all. How about me? How am I contributing to the society, to the world? Perhaps I am contributing to TD more directly...but can I be more useful?

I guess at this age, I do not have much of an option, but can contribute more in terms of trying to grow and make my family happy; contribute to my family business and hope that I make the right decisions and policies that can benefit the employees (they work hard, and I hope that we can make lots of $$ to remunerate them; and that they have a reasonable working environment that they can enjoy working in); and add value to our clients.

There were some challenges at work today. I am glad that I handled it well. It comes with maturity (age!). At a higher management level, it is important to be calm, insightful and compassionate. This paragraph from the Dalai Lama book best explains it:

Trouble is bound to come, so cultivating the right attitude is crucial. Anger diminishes our power to distinguish right from wrong, and this ability is one of the highest human attributes. If this is lost, we are lost. Sometimes it is necessary to respond strongly, but this can be done without anger. Anger is not necessary. It has no value.

Tired, but loving my day!

Update on the whirlpool

Yes it has been a whirlpool for both Irwin and myself. Irwin was hit with food poisoning over the weekend. I was not sure then if I should bring him to the clinic but upon my Dad's advice we brought him to Gleneagles clinic, where he was put on a drip for an hour or two. Finally his paleness faded and some touch of vibrance resumed. My Dad drove from home to pick us up and stayed with us through at Gleneagles without any hesitation. What can I say? A big thank you.

After he fetched Irwin home, he dropped me at NTUC finest at Somerset as I still had to do marketing for TD and cook for him. That was when my first diarrhea hit. I was all nausea by the time I called for a cab home. When I reached home, I cooked and pureed for TD. Shortly after, I lost appetite and was very nausea too. This continued till the next Monday afternoon. I didn't want to move much as I felt very nausea. Thank goodness somehow my Dad called again and he said he wanted to bring me to the doctor.

I had stomach flu and the doctor advised that both of us stay away from TD, and wear a mask at home.

Apart from the physical whirlpool, I/ we suffered a mental meltdown on Friday evening. MIL was frustrated that we did not cover the food after dinner. Even after I explained that I was very tired from work and forgot, she said "You are always like that, this is very basic." On Saturday, she quoted me out of context and said that I responded to her "I know I know" when she suggested that TD should wear anklet bells at home.

Basically I told her I would ask Irwin and she said "It is not to look good, its functional you know." I replied "I know I know, I will ask Irwin". She basically portrayed me to be very rude to Irwin.

I am glad that Irwin asked me and Sumini what happened, and he found the story to be different from what MIL said..(including the maid story, but I am too tired to write now). Irwin asked MIL why is her story so different from mine and Sumini's. MIL explained it was probably different perspectives. Irwin reminded MIL that in Buddhism there is a lot of emphasis on Body, Speech and Mind, and we cannot be untruthful about facts even if there are different perspectives of who is right or wrong. FIL nodded in agreement. (Apparently MIL was very nice and positive towards Irwin that day)

The Dalai Lama book, How to practise the way to a meaningful life, 2002 says that Harmony cannot thrive in a climate of mistrust, cheating, bullying and mean-spirited competition. Success through intimidation and violence is temporary at best; its trifling gains only create new problems.

Ok, why do I want to write this down? Not that I want to bear grudges, but this indeed has been a rather key event that has happened. Indeed there has been no peace in the family for a while because of mistrust. They think we are overloading the maid, we think they should help out a bit?... how about when we were sick? How about helping when we are both sick? Anyway there are always different perspectives.

My once again wise Dad told me. TD would be very close to me for perhaps another 20 years. Why not concenrate on the joy of bringing him up? Indeed, it will be more worthwhile. With that, I look forward to embracing more joyful days ahead.

First Walk at the Botanic Gardens

Short of one day to one-year-old, Daddy and Mummy brought TD for a walk at Botanic Gardens. TD loves looking at the birds. In this picture, he was just staring curiously (& seriously) at the birds flying through the sky. He would point at the birds and say 'bird' 'bird'. We brought him back to Botanic for the second and third time. This time, he was not as keen to walk and wanted Mummy to carry him so maybe he can look at more things at a faster pace? Or maybe he was sleepy. Still, we know that he enjoyed being outdoors.

At one year, TD can now say 'bird', his favourite 'bear' due to the book "Little Polar Bear", 'four', 'pray', tries to mimick the word 'button'; 'day' whenever I sing the song 'the wheels on the bus..all day long'. When I pray together with him, and chant the Vajarsattva, ..it ends "..hum phet" and he repeats phet in the most cheeky manner, as he now knows the timing. When I chant Sakyamuni, "om muni muni sakyamuni yi soha", he goes mana mana...but he knows how to point at the correct Sakyamuni poster.

Isn't it precious? From only crying when hungry to now trying to express himself.

I have the time to write today as I had high fever for the past two nights. 38.6! Not sure why I have the fever suddenly although I suspect it is a clogged duct. Anyway, the worst part about being sick, is not the sickness itself, but the fact that I stay away from TD in order not to spread anything to him (just in case). To console myself, at least I know that my body is producing antibodies and it will go into his ebm...Get well soon, so that you can play and take care of your Toddler!