living, enjoying & appreciating the moment

We held this party last month. Had a really good mix of guests from the champagne, and architect business.

Food was of course tops with M and Gui being the chefs. C brought along vodka and a Californian Merlot. S brought along Piper Heidsieck champagne. We finished the party with more whisky.

To think it was a Sunday evening! Close to 11:00pm, we were still dancing and singing, and of course snapping some pictures as and when I felt like. Errh, to provide more details, one went on top of the table to dance; to provide more - someone kinda stripped...oops. Caught on my camera, but not gonna flash it of course**!

Another short extract from Ajahn Brahm, although entitled "what's wrong with being sick?"... I felt has parallel to appreciating and enjoying moments!

In my public talks, I often ask the audience to raise their hand if they have ever been sick. Nearly everyone puts up their hand. (Those who don't are either asleep or probably lost in a sexual fantasy!) This proves, I argue, that it is quite normal to be sick. In fact, it would be very unusual if you didn't fall sick from time to time. So why, I ask, do you say when you visit the doctor,"There is something wrong with me, doctor? It would be wrong only if you weren't sick sometimes. Thus a rational person should say instead,"There is something right with me, doctor. I'm sick again!"

Whenever you perceive sickness as something wrong, you add unnecessary stress, even guilt, on top of the unpleasantness. In the nineteenth-century novel Erehwon, Samuel Butler envisaged a society in which illness was considered a crime and the sick were punished with a jail term. In one memorable passage, the accused man, sniffling and sneezing in the dock, was berated by the judge as a serial offender. This was not the first time he had appeared before the magistrate with a cold. Moreover, it was all his fault through eating junk food, failing to exercise adequately, and following a stressful lifestyle. He was sentenced to several years in jail.

How many of us are led to feel guity when we are sick?

A fellow monk had been sick with an unknown illness for many years. He would spend day after day, week after week, in bed all day, too weak even to walk beyond his room. The monastery spared no expense or effort arranging every kind of medical therapy, orthodox and alternative, in an attempt to help him, but nothing seemed to work. He would think he was feeling better, stagger outside for a little walk, and then relapse for weeks. Many times they thought he would die.

One day, the wise abbot of the monastery had an insight into the problem. So he went to the sick monk's room.

The bedridden monk stared up at the abbot with utter hopelessness.

"I've come here," said the abbot. "on behalf of all the monks and nuns of this monastery, and also for all the lay-people who support us. On behalf of all these people who love and care for you. I have come to give you permission to die. You don't have to get better."

At those words, the sick monk wept. He'd been trying so hard to get better. His friends had gone to so much trouble trying to heal his sick body that he couldn't bear to disappoint them. He felt such a failure, so guilty, for not getting better. On hearing the abbot's works, he now felt free to be sick, even to die. He didn't need to struggle so hard to please his friends anymore. The release he felt caused him to cry.

What do you think happened next? From that day on, he began to recover.

The last laugh...

so...I had my first manicure session today.. with my mum-in-law. I have always avoided manicure as I didn't want my nails to turn yellowish because of the chemicals.

While we had our mani & pedi, there was a young girl brought there by her mummy. She was probably seven. She was doing her mani & pedi, and her tai-tai mummy was taking pictures of her, after which they would be heading to Paragon. Hmm, is that how new age mothers dote on their children these days? In fact, the manicurist mentioned that it is hardly uncommon these days for children to come in. She will personally not allow her kids to do it at a young age, but in tough times like this, as long as they pay, they will do it even for baby clients....oh well, every parent has their own set of parenting values.

Anyways, a short story to share before I go mask my face and continue my bedtime reading.

This is a true story from Ajahn Chah on how to deal with abuse.

An American G.I. was traveling from the base into town on a rickshaw. On the outskirts of town, they passed a roadside bar where some friends of the rickshaw driver were already quite drunk.

"Hey!" they shouted in Thai. "Where are you taking that dirty dog to?" Then they laughed, pointing at the American soldier.

For a moment, they driver was alarmed. The soldier was a very big man and in Thailand calling someone a "dirty dog" meant an inevitable fight. However, the soldier was quietly looking around, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Obviously, he did not understand the Thai language.

The driver, deciding to have some fun at the American's expense, shouted back, "I'm taking this filthy dog and throwing him in the Moon River to give the smelly mongrel a wash!"

As the driver and his drunken friends laughed, the soldier remained unmoved.

When they reached their destination and the driver put out his hand for the journey's fare, the American soldier quietly began to walk away.

The rickshaw driver excitedly shouted after him in broken but clear English, "Hey! Sir! You pay me dollars!"

To which the big American soldier calmly turned around and said in perfectly accented Thai, "Dog's don't have money."

Precious Stones - coz you can't buy them!
























The above two are taken during the last Dongzhi celebration. It has a wonderful bouncy texture hopefully justifed by the photo. More importantly, our families gathered to enjoy the hand-rolled Tang Yuans!

Today I am going to talk about Precious Stones by Ajahn Brahm. Pardon me for quoting them frequently, oh well blame it on American Idol. Hee - thats my in-between advertisement time activity. I read a book - some stories I can't help but wana share.


At a famous U.S. business school some years ago, a professor delivered an extraordinary lecture on social economics to his graduating class. Without explaining what he was doing, the professor carefully placed a glass jar on his desk. Then, in view of his students, he brought out a bag full of stones and placed them one by one in the jar, until no more would go in. He asked his students, "Is the jar full?"

"Yes," they replied.

The professor smiled. From beneath the desk, the professor produced a second bag, this one full of gravel. He then managed to shake the smaller stones into the spaces between the bigger stones in the jar. A second time, he asked his students, "Is the jar full?"

"No," they answered. They were on to him by now.

They were correct, of course, for the professor produced a bag of fine sand. He managed to coax much of the sand into the spaces between the stones and the gravel within the jar. Again he asked, "Is the jar full?"

"Probably not, Professor, knowing you," the students replied.

Smiling at their answer, the professor brought out a small jug of water, which he poured into the jar full of stones, gravel and sand. When no more water would fit in the jar, he put down the jug and looked at his class.

"So, what does this teach you?" he asked his students.

"That no matter how busy your schedule," offered one of the students, "you can always fit something more in!" It was a famous business school, after all.

"No!" thundered the professor emphatically. "What it shows is that if you want to get the big stones in, you have to put them in first."

It was a lesson in priorities.

So what are the "big stones" in your "jar"? What is most important to fit into your life? Please ensure that you schedule in the "precious stones" first, or you'll never get around to them, to fit them into your day.

The Most Beautiful Sound

Mum baked these muffins on the morning that bro was to fly back to Australia.

She was having a cold and fever for the past few days then, but she still rose to the occasion and baked chocolate chip muffins for the family.

A closer look: Hmm, slurp slurp

This is a little cosy corner put up by mum.

Want to share another story I have read :)

An uneducated old man was visiting a city for the first time in his life. He had grown up in a remote mountain village, worked hard raising his children, and was now enjoying his first visit to his children's modern homes.

One day, while being shown around the city, the old man heard a sound that stung his ears. He had never heard such an awful noise in his quiet mountain village and he insisted on finding its cause. Following the grating sound back to its source, he came to a room in the back of a house where a small boy was practicing on a violin.

Screech! Scrape! came the discordant notes from the groaning instrument.

When he was told by his son that that was called a "violin," he decided he never wanted to hear such a horrible thing again.

The next day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard a sound that seemed to caress his aged ears. He had never heard such an enchanting melody in his mountain valley, so he demanded to find its cause. Following the delightful sound back to its source, he came to a room in the front of a house where an old lady, a maestro, was performning a sonata on a violin.

At once, the old man realized his mistake. The terrible sound that he had heard the previous day was not the fault of the violin, not even the boy. It was just that the young man had yet to learn his instrument.

With a wisdom reserved for the simple folk, the old man thought it was the same with religion. When we come across a religious enthusiast causing such strife with his beliefs, it is incorrect to blame the religion. It is just that the novice has yet to learn his religion well. When we come across a saint, a maestro of her religion, it is such a sweet encounter that it inspires us for many years, whatever their beliefs.

...but that was not the end of the story of the old man and the violin.

The third day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard another sound that surpassed in its beauty and purity even that of the maestro on her violin. What do you think that sound was?

It was as sound more beautiful than the cascade of the mountain stream in spring, the autumn wind through the forrest groves, or the mountain birds singing after a heavy rain. It was even more beautiful then the silence in the mountain hollows on a still winter's night. What was that sound that moved the old man's heart more powerfully than anything before?

It was a large orchestra palying a symphony.

The reason that it was, for the old man, the most beautiful sound in the world was, firstly, that every meember of that orchestra was a maestro of their own instrument; and secondly, that they had further learned how to play together in harmony.

"Maybe it be the same with religion," the old man thought. "Let each one of us learn through the lessons of life that soft heart of our beliefs. Let us each be a maestro of the love within our religion. Then, having learned our religion well, let us go further and learn how to play, like members of an orchestra, with other religions in harmony together!"

That would be the most beautiful sound.

Inner Silence

I finally went to Mt Emily. A place where Gui & M often visit. It has a quiet charm and rather tranquil; and you feel seated in a private garden.

Read this article relating to WISDOM & INNER SILENCE by Ajahn Brahm which I would like to share in extracts:

Free Speech

I am surprised that speech is still free in our modern market-driven economies. It must only be a matter of time before some cash-strapped government regards words as another commodity and puts a tax on speech.

On reflection, it might not be such a bad idea. Slience would once again become golden. Marriage would last longer as young couples simply couldn't afford the cost of any argument. It would shift the tax burden from the hard workers onto the hard talkers. Of course, the most generous contributors to such a splendid tax scheme would be the politicians themselves. The more they argue in congress of parliment, the more $ would be raised for our hospitals and schools. How satisfying a thought...

Apart from the bright moonlight, this was our source of light during the dinner & wine.

With green tint

With slight purple tint

A traditional source of light


Crowd starts to come in at about 10~ish

We had a bottle of wine, and warm water for the pregnant lady.

Red

Going With the Flow!

A lil late, this was bro's birthday celebration early last month! We chose Italian -- Bellapizza!

Enjoying Wine

Enjoying Champagne - mafia style

A lil story to share on Going with the Flow by Ajahn Brahm! :)

A wise monk, whom I have known for many years, was hiking with an old friend in an antipodean wilderness. Late one hot afternoon they arrived at a splendid stretch of isolated beach. Even though it is against the monk’s rules to swim just for fun, the blue water was inviting and he needed to cool off after the long walk, so he stripped off and went in.

When he was a young layman, he had been a strong swimmer. But now, as a monk of long standing, it had been many years since he had last swim. After only a couple of minutes of splashing in the surf, he was caught in a strong riptide that began to sweep him out to sea. He was later told that this was a very dangerous beach because of the fierce currents.

At first, the monk tried to swim against the current. He soon realized, though, that the force of the current was too strong for him. His training now came to his aid. He relaxed, let go and went with the flow.

It was an act of great courage to relax in such a situation, as he saw the shoreline recede further and further away.

He was many hundreds of metres away from land when the current diminished. Only then did he start to swim away from the riptide and back towards shore.

He told me that swim back to land took every last ounce of his energy reserves. He reached the beach utterly exhausted. He was certain that, had he tried to fight the current, it would have beaten him. He would have been swept far out to sea just the same, but so depleted in energy that he wouldn’t have made it back. If he hadn’t let go and gone with the flow, he was sure he would have drowned.

Such anecdotes demonstrate that the adage ‘ When there’s nothing to do, then do nothing’ is not fanciful theory. Rather, it can be life-saving wisdom. Whenever the current is stronger than you are, that is the time to go with the flow. When you are able to be effective, that is the time to put forth effort!

Its official: Its one more month! She-is-delivering.

Whoa-la... this is her! After carrying a heavy belly for eight months, undeniably, she will be unloading in a month's time.

She is the closest girl friend so far that I have seen a belly grow, by leaps and bounds.

We had dinner together last Friday evening, together with my in-laws and Lama Shifu.

Apparently the doctor has scanned that it would be a boy! Shifu suggested it could be a girl. So this is science versus spirtual. OK... we will know in a month's time. After Shifu left, she didnt seem delighted that its not going to be a boy. Mmmm, I said "Be it boy or girl, its more important that the baby is born healthy."

As Ajahn Brahm puts it, the trigger for much of our anger is frustrated expectation. We sometimes invest so much of ourselves in a project that when it doesn't turn out as it should we become irate. All "should" point to an expectation, a prediction for the future. We might have realized by now that the future is uncertain, unpredictable. Relying too much on an expectation for the future, a "should", is asking for trouble. =)