The psychology of finance

Yes its Christmas. It really shouldn't be about money. It is the season of loving, giving and supporting - be it with the humans or the animals.

Why this cold-hearted post post-Christmas? Bobby is currently being housed at $900 a month. MIL feels that that this is too expensive and Bobby should be put up for adoption instead. It is no small sum but Bobby is really aged now and we wonder whether there is any logic behind re-housing him again at his age.

Money money... there's monthly insurance, helper's pay, TD's expenses, meals, saving up for a house. $900 a month vs relocating a heart-broken old dog from home to home to home to home?

To me, it is really quite expensive to have a child. From the delivery, to the pd, to the baby equipment to the insurance...

Luckily, looking at TD always puts a smile to my face. Fantastic. Still, I have to re-emphasize on the importance of saving. I remember meeting Uncle Lionel who reminded Irwin and myself to save up to $1million first before splurging in life..working towards it!

In a Bean Bag

We went to Dhiren's house to celebrate his birthday, and his going-away trip to Germany. So Dhiren told us to bring Theodore - and TD had a splashing good time interacting with two other toddlers.

I have been thinking about moving out from my in-laws place for a while. Irwin sometimes feel so, and at times didn't feel so. At times, Irwin told me to start looking for a place. At times, he stated he preferred to stay with his parents.

Anyhow, it was somehow decided. We conveyed our thoughts on Saturday morning. They seem agreeable...

Theodore is eight months old, and I am getting ooh so busy

Theodore is eight months old. Weekdays - its work. Weekday evenings - its Theodore. Weekends - its Theodore.

Theodore is very vocal and curious now. He is 'talking' most of the time and yesterday he said 'bah bah bah bah'.

He even makes funny faces now. Apparently he started doing so after attending a kids birthday party.

I am sure he is a happy child. From my perspective, so am I happy to see him grow and grin when he sees me.

But ehhh I am so tired. We have to buy fresh ingredients for him weekly, and I puree them in advance on the weekend. I love him, but you know sometimes, you never get a break. Even if I go for a monthly facial now, I think of him while lying on the bed.

There is really a lot of work involved when having a child. Especially when you dont want to leave him in the total hands of a outsider.

Ooh haha, but I must admit we did mess up his solids a little. We decided to puree lamb and sweet potato for him. It was too heaty for him. Currently we are trying peas - I hope it is ok at eight months. Our pd recommended that each new food should be introduced for a period of seven days to test for allergy. We have decided to go for the four day rule instead... its really quite troublesome and it must be boring aint it to eat the same for seven days? But luckily we observed the four day rule, as TD showed signs of allergy to the lamb after the second day (though he really enjoyed it). We took it off his diet and he was then fine. During our parents time, they didnt go by four or seven days rule, and we survived...why are things more complex these days?

From celebration..to a hectic work week.. to an angry weekend..to realisation...

We celebrated Elton's one year old birthday at Four Seasons. Theodore had great fun and completely forgot about milk until about an hour later. He played and played, and then finally called for milk, and then knocked out.

I went back to the office to help my father this week. So much has changed in the firm. I started a schedule of feeding Teddy at 6am, pumping milk at 6:30am, again during lunch time and rushing off at 4pm to come home (pump again), or feed him if I come back in time. Then I will prepare his solids and feed him. It does sound like a crazy schedule, but wouldnt be possible without the support of my family. I have to sleep at 10pm daily in order to keep up with this..but hah so far I have not found the discipline, especially when Irwin comes home late from work.

Anger. Why. So, the carpets came back after a second wash. The plan was no carpets are allowed to be opened till TD recovers 100% fully. In-laws decided that they would like to open one as they are hosting guests. We had to convince them again not to..why take the risk when we have already put in so much effort to get rid of the allergens. The carpets were not rolled out, but TD's eczema came back just because the carpets were in the house. TD's skin is fine when exposed to carpets in my mum's house, at Four Seasons, and another friend's house..so we concluded that the home carpets can never be rid of Bobby's dander.

In laws were not entirely convinced its the carpets, and asked me to try Oil of Ulan on the baby.. I said 'No'. Then they decided that sometimes allergens will simply disappear and asked us to wait out a few days. That night, I cracked down.. I sobbed. There is no way I can sit back and watch my kid's skin deteriorate. Anyhow, we convinced them to shift those carpets out to a storage place. They agreed, and I couldn't be more relieved.

So, TD's skin had a flare up on Wednesday. Today, MIL used a lot of perfume. The perfume filled the entire house. I wonder why she decided to use so much today? She went to TD's door and said 'Sorry I cannot come in since I just used a lot of perfume'. Shortly after she closed the door, TD was scratching and crying. We quickly bath him but he was still scratching. As I watched my baby's skin getter redder and redder, and a bigger surface area than before - and more steroid all over the body...it really made me fumed. From anger, again I sobbed.

I called my Dad, brother and sms my Mum who is overseas..and told them I would like to move home till TD recovers. Obviously this is not the right environment for TD since TD never had a single flare up for the month we were there. There were a few call exchanges between Dad, Irwin and myself. The gist was, we should try to solve it as a family instead of shifting back.

Desi Lama, currently my FB friend wrote, "please don't attach too much in this world as pit of fire. we can't librate without renunciate this world. great indian and tibtan master told us very importand is renunciation." I wonder if he just read my FB status. Renunciation. I felt calmer.

I then went into the baby's room. Irwin, Sumini and I played with him for a good 20mins and laughed a lot just by looking at his kicking and jumping actions..that took all the pain & sadness away...

The Happy Baby

Its going to be a busy week. Tomorrow, Theodore will have his first try at swimming in a real pool. Baby Joshua will be there too. Fingers crossed that the eczema will stay in check since swimming can further dry the skin. He needs to be showered quickly after the swim as chlorine is drying for the skin.

After that Theodore has to attend Elton's first year old party at Four Seasons Hotel. On Sunday, he will attend Charlotte's four years old birthday party.

Oh yea, so he is very happy, and we are very busy. Irwin and I always joke about how we are 'confirmed parents' as our schedule now revolves around him, only. On Sunday I will buy some fresh peas to cook for him - oh yes, and to grab some diapers too...

I like to do Push Ups!

Theodores likes to get into this position. In the evening, when TD plays on Wai Po's bed, he likes to crawl, or attempt to crawl. He frequently gets into a push up positon! Not sure whether it is because he is very strong, or he is just confused...haha

Lets see - since returning home, his eczema is improving, but so sloowly... am tempted to move back to Wai Po's house where he gains quick recovery, but realised this can't be a long term solution! So we used Dettol to mop and clean the house again. Hmm didnt work as well. We then tried a Dettol air spray which apparently kills even the H1N1 virus! Ok, he is now on the road to recovery, but so sloowly.... he needs Wai Po's love..hahaha

More food for the chomper:

Puree Pumpkin... and currently

Blended Pear! Pears turn brown so quickly. I sliced up 2.5 pears this morning (very quickly) and then used the blender. By the time I freeze them, they were all brown (hopefully still very nutritious). Hah, many new things to learn..including the pears..

Teddy at Wai Po's House

Oo, more pictures of Teddy at Wai Po's House. This time we see Teddy enjoying an Indonesia nursery rhyme as he was being rocked. Daily, he enjoyed staring out of the window and looking at the poolside trees.

In the last picture, TD was looking busy as Wai Po and I tried to keep him very occupied while we tuck in dinner quickly..hahahaha

TD just had an eczema flare up. Thanks to the carpets that were reintroduced into the house after professional cleaning. I thought the carpets still had Bobby's smell when they came back. After the flare up, the carpets were sent back for further cleaning. This time they are doing it FOC. Obviously, they didnt do a fantastic job...since it is FOC, no one can complain!

What A Trip...

Whoa guess what happened for the past one month? Hah, Theodore and I stayed with my parents for a month in a fight against eczema.

So it turns out that Theodore is sensitive to Bobby. We attempted to shift back home after 10 days when TD's skin looked recovered, and Bobby's too.

Within less than 24 hours, TD's eczema flared up. Irwin and I quickly packed our luggages and moved back to my parent's.

Hah, I did the night duty by myself. Nursing him in the night, cleaning his face with a cotton ball, and attempts to slap on moisturisers when he is asleep; diaper changes. There are times where I hold it in myself as I did not want to leave him alone on the bed.

I have to thank my family for hosting me! My brother had to give up his bed and room for us. My mum planned my meals and helped me took care and entertained TD in the evenings. This is the magic of family. Hah at this point, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to stay in the house I grew up in for a month!

TD came back on Sunday with perfect skin. Hmm, however it seems that after a day or two he developed saliva rash. In-laws allowed TD to crawl and rub his face on the sofa. When I went back, there were drools of saliva on the leather sofa....eeeks....

So now he has saliva rash, but I am glad that the eczema is gone. This is at the expense of relocating Bobby who is 12.5 years old. So sad, but it has to be done....

TD has also started solids for about a month now - here's the list in order

Puree Organic Sweet Potato

Mashed Banana with ebm

Organic Carrot puree - steam, blended and mixed with ebm

Happy Bellies Organic Oatmeal cereal

Organic short grain brown rice with sweet potato

Avocado

Pork Porridge

I have to say, for a lady who does not cook, I have enjoyed planning and preparing his solids!

Mummy's Fight with Eczema

Oh yeah, I turned 31. This year I blew the candle with a baby in my hands.

Did I feel priviledged? In a way yes. Although this was the first time where I had to celebrate my birthday, and at the same time had to coax Theodore. Hmm, I was so busy and tired that day I didn't feed him before heading out. I was so hungry when I reached Roberson Quay that I gave up my plan of feeding him in the car before heading down.

I have not been to Bellapizza for a while. Somehow the place is now rather warm, very crowd and noisy, so I say it is not that suitable for a mum who would prefer a more calming ambience for a cranky and active baby.

I fed Theodore at the restaurant twice. Due to the noise he was easily distracted. Due to the heat, he kept rubbing his neck and ears. I don't think I would go back to Bellapizza again with a baby. Bella pasta for sure!

Theodore was diagnosed with eczema since three weeks old. Right now, I am fighting a battle against it as I am not that keen to constantly use the quick fix solution of steroid. Most pds have advised that it is important to identify the allergen otherwise it is steriod. I have tried cetaphil, physiogel as recommended but none of which works. Once I stop putting the steroid, the eczema comes back. I guess it is time to get to the root of the problem.

Right now, high on the suspect list is Bobby. I read through my pd's notes and it says be careful of dog's hair. That was then I realised that Bobby has a skin condition - pink patches with red sores. I asked Irwin to bring Bobby to the vet who confirmed that his skin condition can spread to children and definitely babies due to their low resistance.

Bobby has been on antibiotics, and steroid medication too. We are even changing his food to hypoallergenic in a hope to cure him. This is Bobby's second dose of antibiotics. Once his antibiotic finishes, his skin problem comes back. Coincidentally, Theodore's eczema would flare up.

Big step big decision. I have decided to shift back to my mum's home...tomorrow! I guess this is the only way to find out if the allergen is Bobby. It feels quite sad in a way, since Bobby is also loved in the family. We have bought a dog barrier and segregated the areas where Bobby is allowed. This week my in-laws are in Japan. It is probably the best opportunity to bring Theodore to a no-dog environment to try out too.

Today, I packed my steriliser, pump, milk bottles, his bathtub, his oil, diapers, bumbo seat, toys, bottle detergent...etc etc you name it, we got it! haha..to prepare for the big move tomorrow. I feel a bit of fear - as I am not sure if this is the right approach. I will be sleeping alone with Teddy at my mum's place. I hope I will handle well. Fear is a state of the mind as Dalai Lama puts it. I know I have to try this. Good luck mummy!

Sitting for solids

Time flies, from just lying on his back, to flipping, to trying to crawl, he is now seated on his very own high chair, and about to have his first taste of solids. For a six month old, that is a big deal since he has been swallowing liquid only so far... Theodore loves to eat. However much I fed him, he will want more. The pd said only 1/2 teaspoon for a start... it has been a conflict in my mind since TD obviously can stomach more. So slowly day by day, as long as there is no sign of allergy, I give him a teaspoon more.

I have been reading the internet on how much to feed. Some say not more than a teaspoon as the main nutrition is still milk. I found a website that says 4-5 tablespoons, or feed as much as you want. I guess thats the point with baby led weaning? Anyhow, still trying to find the right balance. Will speak with pd end of the month to understand better.

At the dinning table, I am questioned by the in-laws. 1 teaspoon only? 1 teaspoon only? Feed slower, so that he can enjoy each scoop; Put in more water so he doesnt have to tilt his back so much. As I introduce water to TD, I said "Water, water" and I hear him trying to pronounce it. MIL nervously and quickly said "Drink water, drink water"... "Theodore drink water"..(hello the grammer is wrong)... My every move is being corrected. I have put in a lot of effort since TD was born..yet I feel MIL trying to show me that everything I do is wrong. She even questions if there's a hole in the teat of the cup I recently bought...Hello, didnt you see the water streaming out of his mouth yesterday?

Been thinking and pondering... is it time for Irwin and I to move out? It has been on my mind lately. Yet Irwin feels that the in-laws need us at this point. If we cannot get along, are we supposed to pretend that everything is fine, and lead on a daily life like this? Sometimes I dont take it personal. It seems like MIL just likes to talk to her own kids like that too. It seems like she has a ego and likes to put, even her own kids down sometimes. I wasn't brought up like this and I am not used to this style.

Don't get me wrong. I am not being ungrateful here. I know that every comfort here is provided for, and I lead a rather stress free life in terms of home management. But it just seems to be getting ugly. I thought of staying put because I think this is the best outcome for Theodore, as I dont want to leave TD alone with a helper at home only. But there is too much unhappiness... Will I be in luck to be guided to the right path? He is my kid, and I want to bring him up the way I want to.

MIL likes to call Teddy the RTC boy, as we have been going to RTC every weekend with Teddy. We agreed right from the beginning that we want Teddy to grow up to be humble. Irwin and I now have a bet, if MIL calls TD RTC boy again, I win a $100!..jokes aside, what do I need to do just that it is win-win for all? particulary Teddy boy...... ;(

He is five months old...



Yep, whenever I feel down, I take a peek at him and I feel a lot more better. I used to wonder why mummies like to use their kids' photos as the Facebook profile picture or their mobile wallpaper. Now, I know why its their favourites. Theodore now dominates my FB picture and cellphone wallpaper.

Motherhood. Sometimes I like to read my friend's friend's blog. Its titled 'Motherhood is not for wimps'. Indeed it isn't. Especially for a first time mum, where you basically start from zero knowledge. I didn't quite have anyone to rely on. The nanny did not turn out to be as experienced as everyone praised her to me. MIL clearly has no ability to take care of a baby now. So is my mum who is busy with her own work. Thus, there is a lot of last minute reading and learning...and its just non-stop. Soon Theodore would be going onto solids, and it would be a whole new ball game for me to understand and learn. At times, it can feel stressful..hence the need for friends, online resources, books, a nice religion. I realised I have not felt at peace for some time... I wonder if I am feeling burnt out. Even a facial did not seem to rejuvenate me. Yes, my last real travel was two years ago..thats totally not me...yet at this point, I know better that my decisions are no longer based on my wants.

Yesterday mum and bro were kind enough to take Teddy and myself out for dinner. Teddy was shouting and showed excitment as he watched me pack the baby bag lol... He knows. At five months, he has gained better awareness. At home, he likes to shout and play with his vocals...

I need an energy booster. True Yoga has been calling me for free trials which I am so tempted, but yet I don't want to leave the baby alone at home. I need motivation. I need to know that I am doing A-ok as a mum, and that I am giving and providing Teddy with the best that he can possibly have - be it love, care, attention, trust, respect and kindness...

The blessed boy who is making his parents ooh so busy...



I have to admit it is extremely busy being a parent.

The blessed boy is growing, and for a new mum there is really a lot of reading and learning to do.

I put aside one day per week for baby reading.

Luckily a lot of my girlfriends are going through the same phase. Feels better to know that I am not alone and that I am not the only crazy person out there.

During the weekend, we brought Theodore for his third swim, followed by brunch. During the past two weekends we go for Sunday brunch, very much because it usually stretches as a three hour meal. In between the three hours I typically have to feed him and then let him sleep on the pram.

Last Sunday we went to Raffles Town Club. They did not have a nursing room, but were kind enough to extend one of the private dining rooms. They turned on the light and air-conditioning so that I could nurse him in private.

Ooh I am so hungry now. Had porridge for lunch. Did you know you only require 200 extra calories when pregnant (that equates to half a burger); and 500 extra calories if breastfeeding? No wonder I still can't fit into all of my old wardrobe. So what if I can? I still need to wear a nursing top when I go out with Teddy... fashion down the drain...for now...

Theodore's Second Swim

Jul 24, 2010. We brought Theodore for his second swim at baby spa. This time together with Baby Joshua.

What wouldn't change, would be how Theodore would knock out after some milk. On his second attempt, he swam for 30 minutes.




Irwin and I always joke about how we are Really parents now. We have a weekly routine of bringing Theodore to his swimming sessions; and getting him to join us for brunch if the environment is suitable, i.e. not overly crowded and air conditioned... yes this boy breaks out in heat rash easily.

So tired now. Had to follow up with some office's matters, and was reading online furiously about baby's poop patterns. Would I be able to handle both work and family appropriately? I only made a few calls today and already I am having a headache. Am I really going to devote myself to family only? The scary thing is during dinner two days ago my father-in-law said 'Yes you should be taking unpaid leave for the next three months to take care of Jun Rong. Don't forget he is priority.' He further said that 'Don't forget you will probably have a second child and then you need to re-prioritise again.' Gulp, I still can't forget the days when I had to hug the toilet bowl about four times a day; how I had to walk slowly from kitchen to bedroom in order to prevent puking; how toothpaste, perfume and Bobby's food make me either vomit or felt like vomiting... *puke puke* now I feel nausea.

Theodore hits the water

On July 18, 2010 when Theodore was 3 months and 27 days old, we decided to bring him to baby spa to try swimming. We suspected that he would love it since he loves using his legs a lot. While placed on the play mat, he prefers to kick rather than bat the hanging toys with his hands.

It was a fun experience as we watched him warm up, and then put into a neck float that looks like a strangling device. This place is called Baby Spa and he can swim, have a massage, haircut or have his parents shop there for him.


Theodore lasted 20 minutes for his first attempt, but of course it was also thanks to the staff there who massaged him while he became a little tired. He naturally kicked around, and turned round and round without any coaching. I supposed some babies would naturally know how to move around into water, although I saw some wailing while palaced into the water.

Tomorrow we are bringing him for his second swim, and am excited to see what new tricks he can come up with, although I think his actions might be restricted within the tub.

Theodore at three months old

Theodore is now three months old. Mummy's role has basically been to cater to his milk and nutritional needs, read up on baby care and to see to his developmental milestones. I read up frequently from babycentre.com which sends me emails week by week providing useful information on baby's development. I also bought a What to expect in the first year to gain a better understanding of taking care of a baby (for the first time!).

Starting to move around in cot

In the picture below, we placed him parallel to the cot. Within minutes, he has shifted himself, using energy from his legs, butt and stomach so he could have a better view of his musical mobile. That happened on July 2 when he was 3 months and 12 days old. We had a good laugh as we witnessed this new capabilities as he could only lay on his back with no shifting movements previously.

It may sound like child's play. To a new mother however, this brings a big smile to see her child acquiring new movements and capabilities.

Another significant activity Theodore loves is to look at Daddy's and Mummy's lips, and he tries to mimick our mouth movements and sound. When Theodore was two months old, I repeatedly say "Hello" to Theodore when I realised him looking at my lips with focus, and a slight frown on his eyebrows. I guess the frown means concentration. At two months, he blurted out his first Hello. Irwin and I stared at each other in shock, a little freaked out, and the hair on my arms stood on ends.

After that we reminded ourselves, no we shouldn't be reacting this way. We should feel happy or clap to show that Theodore is doing the right thing. Otherwise he might misinterpret our shock reactions and not want to continue learning that way.

At 3 months 18 days now, he can blurt out 'Hello, I Love You, Milk'. When Daddy and Mummy was singing to him on July 7, he started to sing or hum along too.

That is one talkative, sociable and vocal baby.

Bye Bye Dahlia

This week has been more busy. Why so? We sacked one helper. I have always found her to be pretenious. She is well behaved and well mannered when my in-laws are around, but a total punk when they are not.

As I have not been having enough sleep and rest, I got fed up one morning when she replied 'Yeah' in a rather rude manner. I told Irwin who came home to question and scold her. She shouted back. Thats it, we decided that since she did not treasure this employment opportunity, she has to go.

We kept her in the kitchen area, kept all the knives away, and took out our tennis racket and put them in some corners (just in case ;). By 4pm, my in-laws came home and we made her pack and sent her back to the agent.

She appeared non-chalent and said she wanted to go home already. Till today I wonder if she meant what she said. To us, it was simply getting another helper. To her, she lost her rice-bowl, her employment and would be sent back to Indonesia. She would be facing her family who has been pressing her to send money home (according to her). At the same time that she told us her family is pressing her for money and she wanted advances from us, we discovered that she has bought a gold necklace, a handbag, and a mobile. Errh, she doesn't even take off-days and only steps out of the house to walk Bobby daily.

Now that she has been sent home, we discovered more. She has 'borrowed' $28 from our housekeeping money, and borrowed a total of $76 from our neighbours' helpers.

Funny enough, with one hand less to help out, we all felt relieved, including my in-laws. It was stressful managing her although we always try to defend her saying that its her background hence her mentality...

We would get a part-time helper instead. To have two live-in helpers in our house felt a little intolerable. Plus only Theodore and I are always home, I always felt out-numbered...haha... It was tough this week, but it just gives me more opportunity to be closer to Teddy..never mind that sleep would never be adequate...

There's No Greater Worry Than When Your Baby Falls Sick


Theodore came down with a fever of 39.3 on June 18 2010. His hands were slightly purplish and cold when we discovered so. I called Irwin immediately. Luckily he was at Great World City at that moment which was relatively nearer to our home as compared to his workplace. He didn't drive then, but took a cab home and picked us up to go to the pediatrician.

As this was the first time Theodore had fallen ill, as parents we were rather helpless but listened attentively to the pd's advice. 1ml of Panadol; hourly temperature taking and recording; if temperature goes beyond 38, one round of cold sponge bath; if temperature goes beyond 39, two rounds of cold sponge bath. Theodore's temperature came down after 1ml of panadol. After six hourly though, the fever came back.

On June 19 8am, Theodore's temperature was back at 38. Without hesitation, Irwin made the call to check him into the hospital.

The hospital's policy was that if the baby was 3 months old, he could be adminstered medication, and need not be hospitalised. As Theodore was 2 months and 28 days old, he had to be hospitalised, and discharged only if he was fever free for 24 hours.

Hence, we began the three days hospital stay, with Irwin and I staying 24 hours with Theodore (apart for three hours where we would go home to shower and take a one hour nap). The blessings in disguise was that this incident has brought Theodore, Daddy and Mummy closer together as a family.

2 Months 1 Week Old - My Baby

That Sunday, the nanny was taking her off-day. So Irwin and I handled Theodore all by ourselves.

We did pretty well, except that we are not skilled at helping Theodore sleep. Irwin is very good at playing and getting Theodore all excited. For me, of course its the feeding and stimulating his next developmental milestone.

So, we couldn't quite get him to sleep, but we sure supplied him with lots of fun. But you know, its actually a skill and it requires patience (apparently 15 - 20 mins) to help a baby sleep. We didnt quite achieve it. Irwin tries for 5 mins, and when it didn't work - its playtime! Ha, the only time Theodore slept was when we put him in a baby carrier and walked around the estate downstairs. New parents - so naturally we are learning!

Not planned for, but we love you

Closer friends may know that baby Theodore wasn't planned for. Irwin and I were rather surprised the moment we realised so. I bought one pregnancy test kit, and despite it being positive, I bought another one to check again. Still, with both kits being positive, I wasn't sure and I wanted to wait till the gynae confirms through an ultrascan.

Now, I am a happy mum. Thinking back, the pregnancy in the first four months especially was a roller coaster ride. Hello, vomiting few times a day. I didn't even brush my teeth for periods of time as the toothpaste makes me nausea.

Now, I have a bundle of joy in my arms. Theodore is starting to smile and laugh frequently and that really makes my day. I also enjoying watching him and his developmental milestone. On 2 months 6 days, Theodore blurted out a "Hello" as I said it repeatedly. Irwin and I were in shock and our hair stood on end. No one would expect that at a two month point.

Theodore is also quite skilled with his musical mobile now - such a joy to watch him get all excited and trying to hit the rotating soft toys. Sometimes, he stares at the smiley faces and smiles to himself. Today, I put him on his tummy and he pushed himself to his side - thats another first..

In my prayer session everyday (or every other day..hehe), I pray for a happy and perfectly healthy individual. So far my prayers have been answered, and may he and all other sentient beings continue that way...

The active boy



Playtime on May 23 2010

2 months and 2 days old

Teddy can play on his own. That makes taking care of him (hee) easier.

On Vesak day, we decided not to bring Teddy to Lama Shifu's place for prayers. Reason being, there would be many people, and hee we were afraid that people would not wash their hands with soap before touching Teddy.

Yes sorry for being sticky with this. To me, Teddy is a newborn, and I do not wish that he catches any germs. I know that when he falls sick, it falls back mainly on the nanny and myself. There would probably be family pressure to make sure he gets well quickly. This can be stressful. Hence, the protective gear I have set up so far...

When Papa is not around...



Well the above video has nothing to do with Irwin, except for the fact that he took this video. Reason for the title is that..yes he is not around! He is currently at reservist - ok I just received his good night call. I feel pleased that after knowing him for seven years, I can still miss him after him being away for a day. Having a baby has brought us even closer - from attending the antenatal classes together on Sundays, making purchases at the Takashimaya Baby Fair, being with me and encouraging me at the labour ward, to us struggling together as new parents to take care of Theodore who cried almost the entire night on the first night we brought him home.. I am sure there are more memorable moments to share...

Busy days..& weekends..






Well, since the arrival of Teddy, being busy and having to wake up at 4am daily has become the norm.

He currently takes an average of eight feeds per 24 hours cycle, and when expressed into bottle at 120ml.

This dictates my schedule as I will be feeding him approximately at three hours interval.

Boring as it may be for the readers, here's my new lifestyle and routine

12am. Last pump before going to bed
4am. Wake up to express (usually read up online on baby care & development)
8am. Feed Teddy direct, and express what was not consumed
9am. Breakfast; check emails; letters; administration (for example Teddy's insurance, financials, and stemcord Giro application, liquidating some of Irwin's and my investments)
11am. Feed Teddy; sing and chat with him
12pm. Lunch, look after Teddy
2pm. Feed Teddy and shower

3pm. Nap time!
5pm. Feed Teddy; prayers (sometimes I bring Teddy in) & playtime with him
7pm My dinner, look after Teddy
930pm. Feed Teddy (this is usually a loong one hour session; and he can crank up and cry here..I think he is either tired to suckle or he wants me as a human pacifier - anyhow I dont really allow that, so as he cries, I pat him to bed)
11pm. Watch Fraiser or Seinfeld for a good laugh with Irwin
12pm. Last pump

Now you know the truth about my daily schedule.

Thoughts on Becoming a Mum

As Theodore is 1 month, 3 weeks and 6 days old today, so have I become a mummy for 37 days. With no prior experience with a baby (but of course), Irwin and I attended antenatal classes back in December 2009, together with Stella and Alvin whose baby Joshua is four days younger than Theodore.

What we have learned from the course has proven to be very useful. At least it helps us to combat the many opinions from the well-wishers, some of which do not make hygiene sense. In addition to that, I frequently have to research on the internet too on tips and advice. With the good fortune of friends who already have babies, they have become key practical guidance too.

So far Theodore has been a joy. Apart from his skin rash initially, there is nothing we really need to worry about. I focus on feeding him, playing and stimulating his sense of development. The nanny focuses on baths and putting him to sleep. The grandparents carry and speak to him daily.

Common Issue

In my earlier post I mentioned issues with my MIL. I realised I am not alone.

Some ridiculous scenarios my friends do experience include:

• if the baby has constipation, the MIL blames it on what the mum eats. But hey, wasn't the confinement food cooked by MIL? Oh yes, she forgot - so MIL blames it on the food mum consumed while pregnant
• Baby's stools are supposed to be loose, textured, sometimes seeming grainy or curdled. MIL insists that baby is having diarrhea despite paedi. confirming that it is not.

Some of my own experience includes:

• I was having fever and chill. MIL becomes suspicious daily that I have spread the sickness to baby. She did not realise that if mum breastfeeds while sick, the body actually generates antibodies and goes into the breast milk which is even better for the baby.
• MIL insists that baby's nose is stuffy and stuck based on the breathing noise. I say thats because his nostrils are not clean. MIL checks his nostrils along the dark corridor and say No his nostrils are clean. So I say, how do you check when there is no light? I brought Theodore to the sunlight and gave her a status update on his nostrils.

Its tiring. I think its ego and home politics. After all, MIL is used to being the queen of the family. But now, with regard to Theodore I insist on my ways based on what I learn and read. Anyhow I am tired of the long battle since bringing Theodore home from Gleneagles.

I have decided to focus my joy on Theodore, my hubby and building my family. You shall not get me down!

The Drama with Theodore's skin




Here, Baby Theodore is 1 month 1 week old.

I think when you have a baby, at times you would LOVE it; at times it might just get you down.

We have been rather busy as Baby Theodore has developed eczema on his cheeks.

To the paeditrician and some of my close friends, this is not puzzling - it is very common among babies.

My mother-in-law and the nanny insisted this was milk rash and have been over-cleaning his cheeks (which could have made it worse). This was despite me telling them that the first paedi. has mentioned it was not milk rash. When I was required to repeat it for the 7th time, I lost my temper, and for the first time in my life, I raised my voice at my MIL, although also explaning that if we keep focusing on the wrong type of rash, we would be giving the wrong treatment to him.

At the end of one week, as it has deteriorated, sickening enough, my mil wanted me to use boiled green bean water to treat one of his cheeks, and my nanny suggested that I apply my saliva on his face right after his milk feed. After one week of battling with the family, I actually gave in and decided to try these primitive methods. Sickening to think about it - yes I applied my saliva. Luckily I didn't listen to their suggestions fully, and only did so for his chin. It got worse. So, I say, thats it, no more experimenting, I am going to bring him to see a second paedi.

Right now, Theodore is recovering well and I am happy about it.

Theodore and His Development

On Saturday, I went for my one month check-up with the gynae; and at the same time brought Theodore for his one month check-up with the paediatrician. One of the developmental checklist which focuses on fine motor-adaptive skills was "When the child is on his back, he can follow the movement of an object, from one side to facing directly forwards." I replied "Yes", and luckily it was because on Day 28, I saw Theodore staring at the smiley flower, and I moved the flower from side to side, and voila, his sight can now follow an object.

On April 18, we also held a celebration for Theodore's full month. Mum made about 120 red eggs which we gave out during the celebration. Thank you :)

CONFINEMENT: Right In the Middle of It

With the birth of Theodore - apart from attending to his growth & needs, another being that requires care is the mother. Yes I am currently right in the middle of the confinement period.

There are a lot of practices which I was trying to figure out if they are merely myths or fact.

We didn't engage a confinement nanny. Having another stranger in our house for a month was not something we could tolerate.

Plus & minuses.

Well, things were not running as smoothly as I wanted to initially. No sleep for the first night. Badly coordinated timing between the lunch and the bath time & the temperature of the boiled herbal water. (Apparently, you cannot shower on an empty stomach, so I have to shower almost immediately after lunch - but of course the schedule can be messed up by the wrong temperate of the boiled water - hello how to shower at 50 degrees?; and Theodore being hungry on a on-demand basis)

So my days now are, although a schedule has started to form, mainly pumping milk at 6am (yes I don't need an alarm clock anymore. The milk can be so full, you will wake up naturally), going back to bed, wake up at 8am to feed Theodore, do some administrative work (for now, arranging guest list for Theodore's First month party; trying to make claims from Singpost/ DHL for non-delivery of item etc), lunch, shower, feed Theodore, massage, feed Theodore, Aunty Jup came to visit on her birthday, nap, dinner, feed Theodore...and voila some 'me' time....before the next feeding & pumping.

Oh yes, my mum-in-law has started to ask me to drink a shot of DOM before going to bed. I was reluctant at first as many of my friends didn't like it. Surprise, surprise, having kept away from alcohol for nine months...hmmmm DOM is superb. Looking forward to my next shot later.

From the chaotic first week, yes, its getting better. At least Sumini can help me with the showering, diaper change and change of clothes. Imagine having to perform everything during confinement. My back and neck are already in pain due to the feeding and pumping. You know you have to keep your eyes down since I am not so experienced yet. Despite the many tasks, knowing that Theodore is well-taken care of and that he is happy - thats all it matters. He had slight rash on his neck a few days ago. Didn't know whether it was due to milk, or heat or hormonal. Still, I got a little worried. Luckily Sumini suggested J&J baby powder. I was a little reluctant at first - but hey it works - its disappearing. Good thing is he does not appear to have any discomfort from the mild rash. Nevertheless, Theodore seems to be starting to show emotions or temper. When he doesn't get his milk promptly or when he is being wiped down with water - his face turns red & grumpy. He is starting to turn on his sides too, although suceeding only at a halfway mark. Hmmm...

Theodore reaches 13 day old, as we plan for first month birthday




As I write, Theodore is 13 days old. Based on the gynae's EDD, as of today, he is not supposed to be out yet. Still, these past two weeks have been filled with such joy in the household.

Oh yes, we have to plan for Theodore's first month birthday party -- tentatively it would be held on April 18, 2010, Sunday brunch. We are still looking at two potential venues to celebrate the occasion. Initially we wanted to hold it at home, but looking at the guests list it may not be practicable - hence the hunt for a suitable venue by my in-laws and hubby. This Sunday, they would be going for food tasting..while I rest at home and wait for Grandpa and Grandma Choong to visit.

He Is Here

Baby Theodore Wei made his entrance on 21 March 2010. I remember it was about 3:30am when I realised that the waterbag has burst, together with "show". At that time, Mr Gui just returned from his late night work and was showering. We couldn't quite believe it, as the EDD was supposed to be early April. He was laughing "This is it!", whereas I went "Goodness, I still want two more weeks of quiet time!"

Truth was we were not quite prepared. Mr Gui nagged me to finish packing the hospital bag, and I completed it only on the 20th - phew, just in time. Our nanny from Indonesia wasn't due to arrive till March 26th.

To-date, Theodore is eight days old. Yes, I am blogging, which means slowly I am getting back to a slightly more normal schedule now. The first day home with Theodore was crazy. Gui and I had no sleep. Theodore either wanted to drink milk or be cuddled, which was normal. The only time I managed to catch an hour was when he fell asleep on my stomach. Second night, we decided to engage a nurse to handle the night duty. She would wake me up at 3am and 6am for his milk feeding. Third night on, I started to pump milk into bottles so that the nurse could feed in the night. Thats how I managed to regain a little bit more of "me" time. Despite the challenges and serious lack of sleep and help, Gui and I are grateful as we learned a lot from the nurse before Sumini arrives.

It has been an amazing experience. I never knew I could feel so much love. Looking at Theodore when I feed him, I feel that I am the most fortunate lady in the world. Seeing how Mr Gui stepped up to organise the situations, and buy baby items and an electric pump last minute by himself made me felt even more L-O-V-E...

Let the love roll!...and I shall now head to the prayer room for my first prayer session since home, and thank Buddha for the easy and quick delivery (about 5hrs); and my lovely boy.

The Busy Buzz
Originally uploaded by sparkleneely

Countdown Checklist to Welcoming Baby G

Well, well, it has been busy weekends..been tired, been weak, been weary. The exhaustion was not solely from Baby G, it was also from the meet-up of friends from overseas (my pleasure!) and David's one year old party. The warm humid weather is not helping either.

At least we are at the stage of rounding up preparations. The happy thing is Baby G has been good. He is now well-positioned and engaged, and facing the back of my spine. Good boy (for a start)!

On Friday, I went to the Takashimaya Baby Fair, and bought diapers and David's one year old present. There are a lot of educational toys in the market. So far, David has only received entertaining toys with loud music and noise, so I thought, hmm its time for brain, eyes stiumulating toys for a one-year-old.

Yesterday evening, I went to the supermarket to purchase more diapers, and a small tin of milk powder. Whoa, a small tin of milk powder costs many times of that of a large tin of milo.

Today is Sunday, we are heading to Dome for a western meal with my in-laws. I know whats going to be when I return home. I need to manage the shopping bags that have been on the floor.

In addition to that, I need to look through the documents received during the pre-admission to Gleneagles, read up on the usage of the breast pump, read up on the usage of the baby laundry detergent and softener. Quite a shame, but all these would be so new to me.

With that said, I am sure Gui and I would be able to handle. Tomorrow we have to go the to airport with the In-Principal Approval document to pick Sumini up. Oh yes, I need to learn how to manage a nanny/ helper. Did someone say, the only constant is change?

Tools and Tips for Handling Helpers?














Having a helper solves certain tasks, but it can also create a load of other problems, from language miscommunication to trying to monitor if the best cut of squid, fish or beef went into their stomach. I know this might make me sound like a miser, but it wouldn't be that funny if you knew that your cod or salmon fish became your helper's meals.

Well luckily for our household, we don't really have that problem at the moment. Mother-in-law is very experienced with managing helpers. Yes, there was once where Dahlia ate one of the expensive fish to herself. MIL explained to her that this is costly, and I guess she wouldn't help herself so freely in future. We are soon going to have two helpers in the household, so having rules would help us manage the living costs better. Yes, the government is raising the foreign worker levy! Thanks for nothing!

Today, Gui and I sorted out the baby room. Took out the steriliser and bottle warmer equipment (okay need to learn how to operate this), sorted out all clothings and beddings that would need to be washed by the baby laundry detergent, placed the nappy liners, baby nail clippers appropriately, set up the playpen in our bedroom, set up the bathtub area etc. Sumini will be arriving in the middle of March to help wash and clean all the baby stuff. She is one lucky helper who is going to have a really cosy, well-decorated and air-conditioned room to work in. I think she deserves it though. She is intelligent, put others before herself, and more importantly she has experience taking care of babies. Apparently she has done such a great job that most children end up crying when Sumini has to leave...I don't really want that situation, but I will really need her help when I return to work. I will try as much as possible to take care of our baby myself.

I don't know what I have against Dahlia though. I always seem to think that she doesn't have the intelligence to help manage a household, I doubt her reasoning ability, I think she is lazy when it comes to cooking (but really she has improved since day one). As my MIL always say, if they are so intelligent, they wouldn't be your helper - which is true. Green Tara emphasizes on the attainment of six perfections of giving, ethics, patience, effort, meditative stabilisation and wisdom, and bright with her every compassionate care for all. Somehow I can't help but feel that Dahlia is somehow sent here to be in our household so that I would be tested and pushed to develop compassionate care for all...

Celebrations & Celebrations

January and February are two busy months of celebrating birthdays. First, it was my brother, then my father-in-law, and then Por Por, and then my Daddy. That concludes January. In February, apart from Lunar New Year and Valentine's, we also celebrated Mum-in-law's birthday last Friday at M's house. We had wagyu, foie gras, champagne and yu-sheng as well. Of course I was denied the champagne, but foie gras - there was no way I was going to watch all of them eat it in front of me, so I decided to have a yum yum yum piece...

To think that I have stayed away (apart from stealing a mouth or two from Gui) from sashimi, foie gras, caffeinated drinks and alcohol for eight months.. guess it will all resume pretty soon, although it felt like a small achievement to be able to have no attachment to the daily coffee I used to survive on!

Lunar New Year Evening

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, it was house visiting as usual. Well, it was my first time, but I went over to Gui's First Uncle house and we had delicious bee hoon, treasure pot, and Nian Gao. Por Por was very generous with me and she kept getting food that was healthy for me from the treasure pot (*Blush blush).




When lunch ended, Gui and I went over to my house and there my cousins were. We had some beers and snacks. Of course I could only limit myself to some snacks (and yea no beer huh). I really miss drinking - a "habit" probably built up during my year in Japan - give me Ume and sake anytime!

In the evening, both my in-laws, and my parents and sister went over to Desi Tulku's house. We had about an hour of prayer and then potluck dinner together. Thats a celebratory cheers picture for the Lunar New Year!

Lunar New Year Guest: Desi Tulku

Desi Tulku (DT), pictured below is a Rinpoche. In Buddhism, he is one rank or level below Dalai Lama. He has been living in India. Due to his rank, he would probably be captured if he returned to Tibet.


This year's Lunar New Year was special as we invited DT back to our home to have Reunion Dinner with us. He was all alone, so we thought why not invite him home and get a dose of cultural exchange. For this year, it happens that the Tibetan's New Year falls on the exact same date as our Chinese's Lunar New Year which starts on Feb 14..hello Valentines Day!

For our Yu Sheng, we used smoked salmon since I really shouldn't be taking raw food - so I was glad I wouldn't be missing out on the tossing of the fish salad. Since it was DT's first attempt, mother-in-law explained the meaning of this dish (Yu) - which signifies abundance and prosperity.

We also ordered noodles from Ah Yat Abalone Restaurant, and noodles represent longevity. Of course, the Treasure Pot - which had whole abalones, dried oysters, prawns, fresh scallops, roast chicken, differeny type of mushrooms and Chinese cabbage. It makes a complete, satisfying and nutritious meal. (Hmm, but maybe less satisfying as we also had Treasure Pot - although freshly prepared - for the next consecutive four meals).

We took a one hour break after dinner, and then DT began making Dorma (offerings) in the kitchen. This was made from oat, butter, honey and water. Smells really good in the kitchen! but these are offerings for the Buddha, not meant to be eaten.

When DT finished preparing the Dorma, we went into our prayer room and chanted till it was Lunar New Year...well it was about half an hour of praying. It was a pleasant way to start the first day of Lunar New Year.

After the prayer session, we back to the living room and wanted to have something sweet (I guess its symbolic once again) - we had red bean soup, Pu-er tea, chestnuts and some dried longans. Had a quick chit chat and snacks and then went off to bed. Well, its important to look fresh to welcome the first day of Lunar New Year ain't it!

Its Official

Its official - David is not scared of dogs. Sunday morning, we decided to bring Bobby, whereas M brought David along to Botanic. Initially, David was looking at Bobby - very curious. It was probably David's first time seeing a dog.

After a while, David wanted to touch Bobby, but Papa M said "No". I told him, if you don't allow David to touch the dog - I have witnessed for myself kids at 4-5 years old being so scared of dogs, they scream your house roof down. Yea, we hosted a dinner once, and their two kids were screaming in our house....Having heard that incident, M tilted the stroller towards Bobby. I stroked it first, and then David followed. Stroke one, stroke two, stroke three..aha getting comfortable, he grabbed Bobby's skin and hair - ok, enough he has break through that psychological barrier, and we decided we have achieved our Sunday morning goal :) Soon after M took out a bottle of water to wash David's hand, which was the right thing to do since David is at the age where he puts his hands into his mouth often.

I know some of my friends will tell their kiddos - Dogs are our friends. So, I hope that my intentions and views are correct, and that Baby G and Bobby will get along great in time to come!

My Stay Home Workday

Thats bottle tree - a place we kinda accidentally drove to one of the weekends. M. was showing a good place to bring kiddos to in future when our kiddos are older. I was suprised to find such a location in Singapore. I thought all's developed (and lost). This was a nice suprise indeed. There were many kiddos there with their parents.

I caught a very slight cold, so have decided to stay home. Lets see, was it exciting and well-spent? Woke up, had breakfast, went on to the internet, lunch with Mr Gui at home, newspapers, and then I napped from 2:30pm - 5:30pm! Maybe I am really tired (or lazy)? Or I guess rest is the best way to recover from a cold. Frankly though, I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow. Its just me. I think I am not cut out to be a domestic goddess. Neither do I want to be the high-heeled and catty bespectacled lady climbing up the corporate ladder (and playing the political unethical game - which is unavoidable the more senior you move). So now, I am in a position I am currently thankful for. Flexibility in working hours, no long tedious hours, and more importantly a job scope I am interested in (oops Braxton Hicks as I am writing). Actually, I felt a bit lonely staying at home today even though Mr Gui was with me till noon time. Guess I need to be surrounded by a constant flow of people! My friend A. did mention that things (the mindset) might change once you have a kid - who knows!

I am still thinking about pain relief options. Epidural? My parents' generation of course objected as there are potential side effects. I however want a more peaceful delivery with Mr Gui by my side - rather than screaming hell and pulling someone's hair, or stratching Mr Gui's arms for example. Then again, should it be 100% pain-free or leaving a bit of pain to as to motivate myself to push? The other option is to go wait-and-see. But I know that a lot of ladies that opt for wait-and-see eventually end up with epidural. By that time when you really need strength to push, your energy is exhuasted during the earlier contractions - ok I still have about two months to think about this..

Mother-in-law just went to get two teeth crowning done today. She just told me that she was chanting the Medicine Buddha during the op. Apparently when the anesthesia wore off, she didn't feel pain - to the suprise of herself and the dentist. So, she told me to chant the Medicine Buddha too during the delivery. Here's a little understanding on the Medicine Buddha. Outwardly, he helps to overcome disease and the suffering caused by the disease. On a deeper inner level, he heals us by destroying the diseases of our mind. Practice to him ensures faster recovery from illnesses, the blessing of medicines, strength and clarity of the mind to bring peace into your heart. Strength, clarity and peace - isn't that what every preggy wants? Haha, interesting enough, I noticed that a number of my preggy friends turn even more religious when they are expecting. True enough, many things could be unexpected or out of one's control from a preggy to delivery process - I guess thats why many turn to one's religion for both support and blessing - and only wanting the best for their kiddo!