Happy New Year!!!

Happy 2009, to my friends...!

Never mind I started toasting since noon today...

2008 was kinda rough...definitely looking forward to a great 2009 for my family and all of you guys out there!!!

cheers!

Where is my Clarity?...

Two months ago, I was up in a mountain. I wanted a rural experience, and was introduced to a mountain village. Up in the mountain, the children looked really carefree. Although a dilapidated home, they had a lot of room and yards to run about. They looked kinda dirty too, but at the same time happy.


I thought that rural experience would have taught me to be grateful and contended. Back in the city, and I have been feeling this way on & off for a while now, I can't help but continue to feel I need something more. How about an inspiration? I just went to Borders to look for one... temporary high... Wait a minute! Is this what people call a mid-life crisis? Am I a ticking clock?...

Oh Crap!

Am I at a fork? Have been thinking about this since the two weeks vacation too. Should I change to a new area of work (bearing in mind that learning something new would also create more stress); just try to keep my current job stable; plan for a baby & introduce a new meaning in life; start cooking; take on more serious photography and travel the world; get serious with Dharma learning? I'm freaking out...where is my inspiration?


Does any girl out there feel my way? Is there anyone out there experiencing a fork of decisions, or just always contended and happy with everyday life? Should I push ahead or learn contentment? I need inspiration...

An Annual Home Affair

Christmas Dinner 2008

Every year for the past ooooh so many years now we have a Christmas eve dinner, followed by a log cake, and of course the exchange of Christmas presents. This year though we broke the tradition a bit, by bringing forward the cake cutting and exchange of gifts, instead of the usual clock strikes 12am fun. Before I venture off on the wonderful presents received this year, this dinner was also different not only in terms of style, but we had a rather serious and brainy discussion. It was about the future of Dad's business. No details to be revealed here. A wee bit stressful don't you think?

The serious discussion was relieved by the holiday treat of ripping off the Christmas gifts! According to BBG, customer visits to U.S. retailers fell 24% last weekend compared with 2007, the biggest drop on record, as deepened discounts failed to attract consumers. Tough times call for tough measures! We were also more practical with gift exchanges this year. A simple present that I like from my pile this year was a book from my lil brother. "be happy" by Monica Sheehan...his Christmas greetings to me written in the book was "..Never lose sight of what is the most important thing in life.."

Today is the end of my two weeks vacation. An interesting discovery of myself during the two weeks. I didn't need coffee every morning to kick-start my system... I didnt know I could simply stay at home, read and listen to music, and sometimes idle my time away...I always thought I cannot slow down, and fear staying at home, rotting and getting bored. With this pocket of opportunity, I actually realize I can...although I am not sure if this can lasts long... but I realize I can... I can enjoy the simple joy of staying home (without any housework please...).

Christmas dinner prepared by Mum

Ice-cream log cake

Tang Yuan 汤圆

This year's Dong Zhi 冬至 celebration was different. During the weekend, my in-laws invited my family over for dinner and tang yuan. What was also different was I had to start rolling the tang yuan since 1pm in the afternoon. I was rolling it together with Por Por, Sumini and Sri. They were teaching me how to roll so that it is Really Round...and also the symbolic meaning behind rolling (besides eating it..yum!) the balls.

Brown Sugar wrapped in each dang yuan

To make this, you will need glutinous rice flour. Well, Sri and Sumini both prepared the dough, the white and the pink respectively. The glutinous rice flour is mixed with a small amount of water till it "feels right". Sorry I don't know the recipe here, I mainly participated in the more fun bit, which was filling it with brown sugar in the middle, and rolling it into a ball.

Eating dang yuan in a must for the Dong Zhi celebration. This year, the festival falls on 21 December, Sunday. It is also known as the Winter Solstice Festival.

In modern times, many Chinese, especially Singaporeans, have probably stopped celebrating this occasion.

It is supposed to symbolize unity in a family. I ate 18 balls that evening!

Hopefully this rekindles your memory of having eaten dang yuan with your older generation. It is definitely easier to buy the frozen ones from Supermarket, but nothing beats gathering around a huge tray, chatting about the significance of this day, and rolling it for your family!

Does it All Add Up?

Ever since the subprime crisis first happened in 2007, we have seen several other financial and corporate failures, exposing the weakness of the financial industry and the economy.

First it was the $700 billion bailout of the U.S. financial system, now Obama and congressional Democrats have entered into discussions over an economic stimulus package that would grow to include $850 billion in new spending and tax cuts over the next two years. - Washington Post. Whether this will pull the nation out of a deepening recession? Lets leave it to another post.

While the economy slows down, so did I. Day 6 of my two weeks vacation. Mainly spending my mornings attending yoga class, and helped my mum a bit in the office at noon. I knock off at 5:30pm sharp. Yesterday, Friday, I went to check out the Isetan sales. Bought a hell lot of Christmas presents for my family and myself to stimulate the economy.

Read the following and found it interesting. Here are extracts of it. Enjoy!

"The New York Times", November 22, 2006.

ADDING IT ALL UP

By Rick Moranis

The average American home now has more televisions sets than people – according to Nielsen Media Research. There are 2.73 TV sets in the typical home and 2.55 people, the researchers said.

I have two kids. Both are away at college.

I have five television sets. (I like to think of them as a set of five televisions.) I have two DVR boxes, three DVD players, two VHS machines and four stereos.

I have nineteen remote controls, mostly in one drawer.

I have three computers, four printers and two faxes. I have three phone lines, three cell phones and two answering machines. I have no messages.

I have forty-six cookbooks.

I have sixty-eight take-out menus from four restaurants.

I have one hundred and sixteen soy sauce packets.

I have three hundred and eighty-two dishes, bowls, cups, saucers, mugs and glasses.

I eat over the sink. I have five sinks, two with a view. I try to keep a positive view.

I have thirty-nine pairs of golf, tennis, squash, running, walking, hiking, casual and formal shoes, ice-skates, and Rollerblades. I am wearing slippers.

I have five hundred and six CD, cassette, vinyl and eight –track recordings. I listen to one radio station all day.

I have twenty-six sets of linen for four regular, three foldout and two inflatable beds. I don't like houseguests.

I have one hundred and eighty-four thousand frequent flier miles on six airlines, three of which no longer exist.

ChongQing, The Wet Market

ChongQing's weekly market, Oct 2008.

Spice - an important ingredient to complete every dish in ChongQing. No matter where you go, or what dish you have, it's cooked with spices. At some point, I felt that every dish on the same table tasted almost the same. The food is often greasy, but due to the cold weather and laborious nature of the economy, you hardly see fat people around.

The Start of my Vacation...


... Hmm, I'm sure many would want to be in my shoes. Two weeks of vacation days to clear! This is however the first time I am staying in Singapore while clearing my leave.

I have two weeks to kill. Initially I was filled with fears with two weeks of non-work time. Ah well, after struggling three days with food poisoning, I realized I might just be able to cope with little pleasures of life at home.

I woke up this morning at 10am, defying the 8am alarm that went off. Not as early as I intended to, but hey its vacation! So far, spent an hour on the newspapers, and basically came back to my desk with a To-Do list for the vacation - mainly adminstrative.

ok, with pockets of time available in my hands, I really should consider what I wana do... catch up on reading, being reflective of 2008... Yes! because when you are working, you are too busy to reflect or think if this is the direction you wana head to. Whenever I used to have vacation days, I would fly out of the country & lah lah lah enjoy - never took the time to *think***.

There, I'm going to try being a nice girl this week (at least). Not going to complain about boredom as I frequently did for the past two weeks, & always wanting to do more. Will quietly catch up on reading, practice my yoga faithfully, look out for symphony orchestra to attend, and to some soul searching. Today is Day 1, let see how it rolls!

Whats up with the economy??

The economy, at its most basic form, is defined as the realized social system of production, exchange, distribution, and consumption of goods and services of a country or other area (wikipedia).

Right now, it is sick. First it was the banks, and now Detroit automakers are in line seeking emergency aid. Individual consumers like you and me, are probably limiting purchases as the labour market no longer offers the stability or security it used to. Falling property and stock values are probably hurting some household's wealth - or it could become a good opportunity for some ;)

In November, another half a million has joined the unemployment toll. Sigh, where are the happier news these days?

Still on ChongQing: Looking for Simplicity



Not so long ago I had a first taste of a rural experience. It was my first rough travel. Couldn't find McDonalds, coke nor coffee but had to deal with multiple home-cooked meals. What made meal times more challenging was the "love" at the table. No common spoons for the dishes. Everyone dips their chopsticks into the soup/ gravy - including the stranger bus-driver...hmm....

It was tough, but right now I am itching to do another rough travel again. Let it be Bhutan, Nepal or even India. No longer interested in comfy cities tours. I know my mum would sigh "always itching for challenges"...


These days at work, its all about avoiding the retrenchment axe. It becomes real when I see individuals disappearing. It becomes more real when a friend asked if my Dad's firm might be recruiting since his friend was axed.

Trading activities have also diminished. I finish my work earlier than usual and reach home earlier than before. Hmm, I guess I should just be contented to have a job now, but returning home early is really not my cup of tea. In fact, I finished my work @ 630pm just now (first time!)... took a train to Orchard - walked a detour, went into a CD shop to listen to free music, and then walked home.

Mr Gui is in Tokyo now. He is on a business trip. He went to a Jazz bar last evening, and today he has to go to DisneySea. Whoa, why won't I want his job?

Toying Around with my EOS Kiss


This was taken @ Beijing airport.

Friday evening, I went to a house shochu party @ Berrima Road. Interesting crowd as there were many SLR lovers. I also had the chance to view some of the artistic pictures taken. The owner has made a $1,000 buck just from his photography (& that is only his hobby). He also gave me some tips on photography - think I am going to get a new lens soon!

Am I the only one feeling stressed out there? Shares of Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley continued to plunge on Friday. Now is the time where everyone's just trying to keep their heads low and to keep their jobs.

At a difficult time like this - here's a little poem to calm my nerves down..haahha

Berton Braley on "Opportunity"

For the best verse hasn't been rhymed yet,
The best house hasn't been planned,
The highest peak hasn't been climbed yet,
The mightiest rivers aren't spanned,
Don't worry and fret, faint hearted,
The chances have just begun,
For the Best jobs haven't been started,
The Best work hasn't been done.

I'm Still Searching

I had drinks with a banker today. We spoke a bit about different career paths and he told me that at the end of the day, its about "knowing what you want". So I asked him back, Do you know what you want? He replied, No actually I don't. He is in his early 40's, successful, earning v well, has two kids and a dog, and well-liked by people around him due to his humour, intelligence and wits. I told him you are kidding me - With such a successful track record, you don't know what you want? pause...

He's not the first. Another friend of mine in his mid 30's is already a millionaire. He laments. He says that he knows he can make money now, but where should he stop? Where does his draw the line between earning more, working non-stop and balancing the quality of life? He was frustrated.

What about me? I am getting tired. I am not earning a million, but I am getting tired. Tired with the politics I am fighting, which many has asked me to give up. My family however thinks otherwise. They think its an opportunity to right a wrong. I am truely tired though.

It is now 2am. I am still waiting for my hubby to return. Out at work at the moment. Do I really know what I want after all this education, and a fortunate life which many say I shouldnt lament about?

I doubt it.... ;(

Still in the Village!

Below are different compounds of the house. Looks interesting? It is really different to see and experience with your own eyes! Especially the toilet!

Of course, I couldn't or wouldn't even stop to take a picture of it. You basically go in, pinch your nose & run out quickly!

Before this trip, I was thinking between Paris, New Zealand or Maldives. The decision? I prefer a rough travel while still young, while Mr Gui prefers a relaxing by-the-pool trip. In the end, we decided on ChongQing which would be rough, and then round it up in Beijing which should be more relaxing. So scroll down for the rough part of the trip first.


So, today Barack Obama swept to victory as the nation's first black president! I remember we were stuck on CNN in Beijing, watching the Final debate in the room instead of heading straight to the Forbidden City as planned.

OK so this is the kitchen - but in a shophouse apartment. Not all homes look like this, this place just got renovated - I think my friend probably had to sponsor his in-laws in ChongQing.

And all these ladies cook a mean SzeChuan meal!

KJ's Grandmother Room - this is really In the Village


Classic! I just went whoaaaaa when I saw the room.

A Old & Healthy Couple

Out of the village photo collection, this was my favourite. Almost like a picture you will only see on TV probably back in the 70's.

Dining Room - with Cool Decoration


Just concrete - & some decorative infomative wallpaper stuck on the wall - not even aligned properly, but turns out to be a rather artistic corner.

Coal Powered Kitchen

Again another room where I couldnt believe my eyes. Check out the wok too.

A rare experience!

how about a simple life?

No lack of mahjong pals in the village.

Lets enjoy some nuts.

Lets get together and crack some nuts - again...

Fresh nuts grown from your own farm.

sometimes you have to think basic and simple. Life in the rural is so. Nut-cracking in ChongQing village seems like a national pastime to me. Delicious... as I cracked open each nut, although I was enjoying the moment - the cool air, staring into greens, I wonder how time can tick so slowly. I could almost notice the minutes that went by. At a workplace, you hardly have time to notice or appreciate how the hour flew by.

You know what? People in the rural look happy. They truely do. Never mind their clothings were not fanciful; nor the fact they look kinda dirty. They look worry-free, they dont care whether its going to be Obama or McCain, they have sufficient to eat just based on the vegetation and farm animals they have reared. My friend M gave S$50 to his father-in-law living in the village. His wife asked why so little. I thought M made a good point - "There's no need to be more since he will only spend it on beer and cigarettes." I mean - there isn't any other real wants that they needed.

Of course, life and pressure in the city is different. Anyway I have just learned about three other Wealth Buddhas.

Lakshmi - The Hindu Goddess of Prosperity.

Ganapati - widely revered as the Remover of Obstacles and more generally as Lord of Beginnings and Lord of Obstacles, patron of arts and sciences, and of intellect and wisdom.

Saraswati - Hindu Goddess of knowledge, music and all the creative arts. She is the mother of Manjurshri (Wisdom). Shifu says wisdom is very important. With wisdom, it brings about understanding.

Buddhism is based on the impermanence doctrine. Similarly, the economic prosperity is not permanent. Especially not permanent because F.I. comes up with innovative financial products that taps on people wanting more than they can afford to. I believe there are more damages to be witnessed...

gloom or opportunity

If you flip the papers these days, whats the buzz word? "Crisis", "Recession". No doubt the governments are stepping in to provide the assurances, we know there's gonna be more job loss, cut in hiring and reduced bonuses. After 15 years of economic growth the party is over.

Went for a morning walk at Botanic this morning, and hehe, bought a Sudoku Puzzle book. Addictive!! & very fun! This evening, I am attending a prayer session which focuses on the female zambala (wealth buddha), especially good for people in business. I am not exactly a businesswoman - but in challenging times like this, why not? ;)

Hot Pot To Warm You

You don't travel to ChongQing without trying the magic of ChongQing hot pot. In fact we enjoyed it so much we went back twice to the same resturant. The broth includes chilli - which you can avoid; Ma La spice - which you can't avoid and it numbs your tongue if you happen to bite into it; and lots of oil. We love it especially when the weather was cool in the night. The heavily oiled and spiced soup boils releasing hazy steam (into my face?!); and we were perspiring a little in the coolness. We had the Yuanyang hotpot on both occasions as I couldnt quite take extreme spiciness.


This the the carnage after the meal.

This was our first meal as we entered the village area in ChongQing. Home-cooked. Although we were surprised that KJ has invited quite a bunch of relatives to welcome us - oh well what can be a better way to understand the locals better? ;)


Back to reality @ work, I felt hurt - I admit it. She has decided to change. The angel who used to say words of encouragement has decided to be proactive at attacking so as to secure her new found position. I don't blame her - she had it tough for one year already. But I am disappointed. I hope she wont lose herself, her own values. I know I have to let it go.

In a state of chaos and inequality, I feel a stronger need to go into spiritual practice.

My Yidam: Vajrasattva. By relying on Vajrasattva practice, gross and subtle negative imprints can be purified from our mind stream and we can thus break the chains of negativity that hold us down. Then we can start anew - crystal clear.

Manjushri: The Bodhisattva of Wisdom brandishes a sword above his head to cut away ignorance and the negative states of mind which form the basis of all suffering.

Green Tara: Buddha Tara tilts towards us in her great compassion to listen to our prayers, grant us our virtuous wishes and protect us as a mother would for her child.

Dzambala: He is most well known for being a Buddha of wealth with the rich gold colouring of his skin representing great increase and growth.

My One Week Flashback

First foot into China - Oct 11 2008. Landed in Beijing airport, and took a domestic flight to ChongQing. KJ met us at the ChongQing airport, and basically performed all the bargaining and negotiating with her native locals in her ChongQing language!

Okay, so here's just a small recap of my action packed one-week vacation. First half was spent in ChongQing - a city having the largest municipal area and population in China; whereas second half in Beijing - one of the Four Great Ancient Capitals of China.

We spent Sunday exploring the Chongqing village. This is the pathway to KJ's Grandparents' home. This was by far my favourite experience in this China vacation. KJ and her mum accompanied us throughout the scenic walk which took about 30 mins.

Aha, this is the village home. We spent half a day both in the house and exploring the farm. Can you imagine the inside of the village home in your head? I couldn't. I bascially went Whoo Whoa when I saw the Grandparents' bedrooms, and kitchen, arggh and of course the toilet (if we can call it the toilet)....


The next picture is part of our walk during the weekly Monday market. Basically you see the entire economy of the village taking place on one street. We were lucky to catch the market scene during our stay. The villagers were rather amused with my SLR camera, some were kind enough to smile into it!

Smile~ even if you are working!

Furong Cave

Up the mountain village. This is KJ uncle's family. Large family - don't know who belongs to which family tree.

China's natural beauty, Wulong Karst - another amazing highlight!


Back to City life - This is the Forbidden City - The Chinese Imperial Place of the Ming and Qing Dynasty. The crowd was a little nasty for better appreciation though.

Aha, our non-stop walking and climbing trip was well-balanced in the end. We had dinner at Shang-ri Hotel in Beijing. Had tea at the serene garden before dinner. The buffet selection was also superb with fresh oysters, Beijing duck, and sashimi. After many meals of Chinese food, it was indeed good to have an international selection.

We were so tired out we had to cancel our Great Wall plan. We decided to head back to Great Wall probably in winter - where there would be less people and tourists.

Well, it was a great experience truely. China is huuuggee, and really it has a lot of natural beauty to offer. We have covered three World Heritage sites this round. The village experience was wonderful and enchanting.

More details to follow!

Try Again

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The Senate plans to vote on the $700 billion bank rescue plan Wednesday evening - two days after the House failed to pass it.

The economy no longer seems self-sustainable. Following a failed vote on a bailout the Dow Jones, posted a record slip of 7% on Monday. I remember watching the news on Tuesday morning in bed and my heart basically sank a little. More than $1 trillion in equity was wiped out by the market fall.

This wasn't the only reason my heart sank. On Tuesday, I experienced one of the greatest sabotage at work. I think I was made the scapegoat - not the first time. Thats how this team operates. They call it "team" but there will be attacks on their own team-member. I wonder how other teams will think of us when they see this self-sabotage? But hey, thats life/ reality in the workplace right? ;) I actually learned to smile despite these undue human inflicted pressure - quite a tough girl isn't it? ;) Not at all pleasant, but I am learning to handle....

Today is public holiday so I am home. Errh unbelivable but I kinda slept my day away. Besides chanting in the morning, writing this blog entry could be my only other productive thing. At 6:30pm, I have not even picked up the Straits Times - argggh forget it...

Good reason to be Away from work? Beginning of My Turn of 2x

Errh, I dont typically scream out loud about my birthday, let alone hold a celebration. Usually it would be dinner and a cake with my immediate family. But this year, with itchy fingers and brains, I decided to host a dinner party.

Guess what, I get a day off from work too! haah thats because I will still have 20 days left after taking one off today.

Still, it feels good, and I feel that my schedule is begnning to be hectic. Woke up at 6:30am, and went to Killiney for breakfast with Gui.

Came home, stuck to the news on TV and online, read up on investments - nothing exciting really, its just unpredictability in the turmoil..best strategy for a prudent investor - do nothing and read and understand for now.

Just made a donation to Thien Nhan, the toddler who survived after being partly eaten by wild dogs in the jungle.

I am attending Hatha yoga at Pacific Plaza and will need to leave the house in 20 mins time.

Ooh, brother just called me from Australia to wish me Happy Birthday too!

Will be meeting my mum for quick lunch later and will walk around Takashimaya. Je Taime is having a 30%-40% sale, will walk in for a feast of the eyes and some education on fine jewellery...

Hopefully a foot rub to end the evening - and then dinner with Mr Gui. More importantly my discipline to chant tonight.

Thats my birthday plan - sounds hectic?? - ;-)

Understanding Confessions

On Saturday evening, I celebrated my 29th birthday with a few close friends at home. Mr Gui planned every detail of the dinner - marinated the lamb four days ago, drew out a menu & pinned it on the refrigerator and basically gave Sumini a briefing on the sequence of the dishes and the cutleries required.

On Saturday afternoon, we went to Great World to pick up fresh tomatoes and a tub of Lemon Sherbet. I remember telling him "Hey, sorry ah, crowds usually give me a headache, and the cold in a supermarket usually makes me sick.. so I'll wait for you outside with a coffee from Da Paolo ;) "... Without much of a choice, he continued scrutinizing through the many different choices of tomatoes on the rack....

Once he grabbed the Lemon Sherbet, he said "Run, Run Run, I don't want it to melt!"

At around 4:30pm, we starting laying the table together. He decided on the choice of the table mats, and the type of glasses and cups to be used. If there is anything that was the best present, it was him - the knight that stood out in the shining apron!

I have not been writing. Not a suprise isnt it? The market is in a turmoil - creating excitment plus weariness in all financial institutions. The investment banking model has now broken down. Bear Sterns disappeared in March when it was bought by JPMorgan. Lehman and Merrill Lynch have had money-losing quarters since the credit crunch started last year. Merrill Lynch is acquired by Bank of America, and Lehman collapsed last week. The last two standing IB - Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley have just been approved to become banks.

Last night, mum-in-law gave us a mini class on our prayer session. "You have been chanting on Confessions, but do you know what it is?"

Here's part I

3 obstacles related to our Body = Killing, Stealing, Sexual Misconduct

4 obstacles related to our Voice = Lying, Slander, Harsh Speech, Idle Gossip

All obstacles connected to our Body, Speech and Mind = Covetousness, Malicious Intent, Wrong View

3 + 4 + 3 = The 10 Non-Virtous Actions

DILEMMA & TUMBLE

This week was stressful and tiring. Whats new right? The work stress, its just getting into me. Its not even about the technicalities of the work. That you can understand - or eventually fully grasp it with a logical mind. The humans make it trickier. As Mr P once puts it, humans are a lot more complex to understand than the financial markets.


Funny enough J is fundamentally going through the exact same phase as me - somewhat in terms of job satisfaction, and liking things that are forbidden. I have not been doing my spiritual reading, but since J commented today "I feel like my life has no purpose." I picked up Dr K Sri D's "The Purpose of Life". I read today:


The Buddha has classified humankind into four groups:

1. One who works for his own good, but not for the good of others;
2. One who works for the good of others, but not for his own good;
3. One who works neither for his own good nor for the good of others; and
4. One who works for his own good as well as for the good of others.

To elaborate:
Pt 2: One who works for the good of others, but not for his own good - it is he who encourages others to abolish evil thoughts, words and actions but does not strive for the abolition of greed, hate and delusion in himself.

Pt 3: One who works neither for his own good nor for the good of others - it is he who neither strives for the abolition of evil thoughts, words and actions in himself, nor does he encourage others to abolish greed, hate and delusion.



This weekend, I spent some good time with Mummy getting a hair trim together, and then late lunch and a chocolate cake to follow. Counting on my simple pleasures to tide me through... Having a cold now in fact - I guess I'll be sleeping quite soundly tonight ;)