Sunday, December 28, 2008

Where is my Clarity?...

Two months ago, I was up in a mountain. I wanted a rural experience, and was introduced to a mountain village. Up in the mountain, the children looked really carefree. Although a dilapidated home, they had a lot of room and yards to run about. They looked kinda dirty too, but at the same time happy.


I thought that rural experience would have taught me to be grateful and contended. Back in the city, and I have been feeling this way on & off for a while now, I can't help but continue to feel I need something more. How about an inspiration? I just went to Borders to look for one... temporary high... Wait a minute! Is this what people call a mid-life crisis? Am I a ticking clock?...

Oh Crap!

Am I at a fork? Have been thinking about this since the two weeks vacation too. Should I change to a new area of work (bearing in mind that learning something new would also create more stress); just try to keep my current job stable; plan for a baby & introduce a new meaning in life; start cooking; take on more serious photography and travel the world; get serious with Dharma learning? I'm freaking out...where is my inspiration?


Does any girl out there feel my way? Is there anyone out there experiencing a fork of decisions, or just always contended and happy with everyday life? Should I push ahead or learn contentment? I need inspiration...






3 comments:

Mum of 2 said...

Hmmm...mid life crisis...

I am loss too..No inspiration, I duno how to solve this too..To keep myself going for the time being, I just tell myself I am working for money and a wedding to look forward to =p After which, I will think about it again ==> Procrastination

Oh, you want to plan for a baby? That sounds gd also ;p

eimi said...

haha you are too young to use that term "mid life crisis"

Ya I guess sometimes it pays to be practical abt the $$. I think mine is also a case of not daring to change to a more challenging role now, since I need to give some good priority (as a lady) to the family ;(

Baby in a few years time! But if i want a baby in a few yrs time, then i hv to plan for stability in career now...arghhhh, bet guys dont have this prob!

Life - its all about decisions aint it...

Mum of 2 said...

Not very young. Don't sound so old can? hehe.

Ya, so...no matter how much i hate to go to work, i tell myself i live for one day - my pay day. haha. that's my motivation :) for the time being at least!

Wah, i think you career is stable aint it? My career not - coz is a tai tai wannabe career. faint, i'm still dreaming!

Ya, hate to make decisions ya!?!?!!