Weekend Getaway - No I didn't see Mas Selamat Kestari

The
I went away for the weekend at Bintan - an area the anti-terrorism police is concentrating their search on. I have totally enjoyed the weekend trip near the sea. Prices at Bintan were however higher than I expected. The massages cost the same, if not more expensive than in Singapore. Food prices also equate hotel standard in Singapore, but the Indonesian cuisine was really good!

Initially we were afraid that going to an island just 45 mins away from SG would imply bumping into many Singaporeans. Karen also mentioned that she bumped into her secretary when she went there three years ago. This was however not true - somehow the resort we have chosen had 50% Japanese, 1/6 Singaporeans, 1/6 Koreans, and 1/6 Caucasians. Any place where I can see the horizon - I'll love it. While I believe it is not as beautiful as Bali, the fact that I did not have to take a plane - just a ferry - made the trip very worth it.

Irwin & I enjoyed the time spent at the beach and pool, climbing the rocks and bodysurfing. The peace and tranquaility also offered a good place for our chantings. In fact we went for a full-blown x108 chants per mantra -- haha did we feel powerful.... Somehow pursuing a deeper interest in Buddism in a partnership made the experience more fun and interesting. Without the partnership, it would have been more difficult to embark on... do I feel fortunate ;)

Reading by the sea and pool for the past three days, I finshed the chapter on Potala Mountain... "Only once in a very long while do you obtain this support for freedom and opportunity. Now that you can meet with spiritual friends and practice the sacred Buddhadharma, and supportive circumstances have come together, spend the rest of your life in just this way."

March has been a celebratory month. Irwin and myself had a Tibetan ceremony yesterday, and Auntie Helen celeberated her 60th's birthday with a splash at Regent. Hopefully there will be more to come.

I typically hate to discuss politics, but I think I had enough of hearing about China's governance. China has admitted for the first time that its police have opened fire on Tibetan protestors, but it insisted yesterday that the gunfire was in self-defence.

Fancy finding a rat head packaged in your prawn crackers? You don't have to look that far. China's reputation as an exporter has again taken another beating. Recalls of toothpaste, frozen dumplings, toys tainted with lead, and a pet food ingredient contaminated with toxic chemical have not taught its industry a hard enough lesson..again, history repeats. Here's another recent case, read it yourself, I don't really want to write about it.

Next time you take cash out of your wallet, it might be wiser to check its origin ;)

Extract of Yama Dharmaraja's message (Delog Dawa Drolma)

To all worldly folks:
Having been born in a higher realm, turn your minds to the dharma.
Keep prayer wheels and malas in your hands without cease.
Pursue the recitation of the mani and siddhi mantras as the essence of your speech.
Those of you who have noble motivation and great compassion will not meet me but will go to the pure Realm of Supreme Bliss.

Weird Al Yankovic - White & Nerdy

This week has been very busy at work. What striked my attention and heart was the World news on Olympics clean-up Chinese style: Inside Beijings shocking death camp for cats. Read it and you will know what I mean.

Please sign the petition to stop the slaughter of cats and dogs in China - your signature is important in the fight against this shockingly cruel campaign.

"Animals cannot speak, but can you and I not speak for them and represent them?

Let us all feel their cry of agony and let us all help that cry to be heard in the world." -

- Rukmini Devi Arundale.

a busy but peaceful week

Bobby Heng. I didn't see him for about a week since I was shuttling between the casket and my own home.

Returning back after one week, Bobby suddenly has become more solemn. We were guessing if he was sick; due to old age; or he is sad about some affairs; or maybe one of his friends got killed or died (apparently while being taken for walks, he has been approached by other maids who want to buy him so that their owners can eat him!). Luckily after a week or so, he is back to his old child-like self, jumps around quite a bit, and always asking for a massage even though he is now 10 years old.

At work it was just plain busy. Not only does my team need to do parallel run tests for a new system, the current system started showing signs of hiccups. As a result, I had to work late this week.

Nothing much has happened to me. I did however read an article of great interest from Forbes. 48 Heroes of Philanthropy. The list was put together for the first time by Forbes. Here's an extract "Great fortunes are being made in Asia, and those fortunes are increasingly earmarked for philanthropy. Hong Kong's Li Ka-shing has pledged to leave one-third of his $32 billion fortune to charity. Anil Agarwal has committed $1 billion toward creating a new university in India. Yang Huiyan, China's richest person, and her father, Yeung Kwok Keung, donated $32 million to charities last year, making them the country's biggest givers."

I also went to Kinokuniya, Takashimaya with my colleague. She bought a few fiction books. When she asked me what I am reading now, I said "hmm I dont think it will be books that you will read"... Straightaway she said "Religious stuff"... Indeed! A bit of a boring me, but Lama Shifu passed me this book when Evan and I chauffeured him back from the wake. Here's a little extract of interest (hold tight and don't get scared!):

The hell realm is a projection of hatred and anger and the nonvirtue of killing;

the preta realm, a projection of avarice and craving;

the animal realm, a projection of stupidity;

that of the demigods, a projection of virtue tainted with jealousy;

that of the gods, a projection of virtue tainted with pride;

the human realm, a projection of a mixture of all five poisons combined with at least enough virtue to prevent rebirth in lower realms.

Just remember that no matter how difficult your life is as a human being, there is no comparison between the difficulties here and the miseries in the lower existences - Delog Dawa Drolma

Facing Death -- an unforgettable event for myself.

After an extraordinary struggle in the hospital for four months, Granny passed away peacefully on Feb 12. I appreciate my cousin calling me that morning and telling me calmly "Granny has stopped breathing and her heartbeat has stopped". We all went (dashed) to the hospital.

On the way I felt a sense of relief for her. Even when I stepped in and saw my relatives crying I remained calm. Interestingly, when I left Granny's bed side I started crying too - and I could feel the pain in my heart. I was relieved she was out of this hospital struggle, but at the same time felt pain as she has indeed suffered quite a bit on the hospital bed. On the bright side, she had her children and grandchildren by her side almost daily!

Illness happens. It is not something exceptional; it is part of nature and a part of life. Of course we have every right to avoid illness and pain, but in spite of that effort, when illness happens it is better to accept it. While you should make every effort to cure it as soon as possible, you should have no mental burden. -- Dalai Lama. As the great Indian scholar Shantideva has said:" If there is a way to overcome the suffering, then there is no need to worry; if there is no way to overcome the suffering, then there is no use in worrying." That kind of rational attitude is quite useful.

From Feb 12 onwards, I have been sleeping at the Singapore Casket on four chairs, a sleeping bag, a pillow and an eye mask till Feb 16. Yes my back is aching when I laugh now. Actually my relatives and I did kinda relieve ourselves during this period - some brought along their helicopters to fix, their laptops to surf/ work on, and we did spend some good time catching up. No doubt, it was also emotional, mental and physical hard work, re-arranging the tables and chairs every morning and before bedtime; not having to brush our teeth or wash our face as frequent as usual; bringing out the peanuts, sweets and drinks when guests arrive; collecting and recording the White Gold (yes it was my responsibility); and any other administrative responsbilities my parents or relatives might command.

On a spiritual note, I understand death and the wake process better now. We were also lucky to have invited Lama Shifu on 15 and 16 to come pray for Granny and we know she is now better taken care of. Lama Shifu also reminded us not to cry so that Granny can go in peace. That gave us strength to try to understand the death process from a Buddhist viewpoint and made us all calmer.

The ceremony ended on Feb 17. May I suggest that wake ceremonies do not employ a band in future. The band played such sad music that most of my cousins, relatives and guests started crying! It was in a way, emotions induced by the sorrow music - even my young cousin said "No more bands in future please".

All three families were united in making this ceremony as smooth as possible - although I am now more interested to find out what procedures are really necessary from a Buddhist viewpoint; and what are merely "for show". I am happy that Granny has accepted Lama Shifu's help and she has moved on and relief herself of any unfinished business she felt she has. Over the next 49 days, there will be more prayers for her, and donations made in her name as she moves on to her next realm.

The Choong's power combined

Quite evident in the Choong's family & relatives. Why do I say this? It has been quite a rollar coaster emotional ride for all in the family tree. To-date Granny has been in the hospital for four months now. We started out hopeful, but many of us are both physically and emotionally tired out now.

Some colleagues would say about their Chinese New Year's plan "Ahh its the same every year"... Well, I couldn't say the same this year. I do wish it could have been the same, but no, my family had a new challenge this lunar new year.

We gathered at Granny's bed on Reunion Dinner night. Had dinner at Uncle Jason's house later and I went off to a prayer session with Lama Shifu and chanted till 12am.

First day of Lunar New Year - Chu Yi - we received a call early that "Granny doesn't look good". All of us hurried down. We had a family meeting; deciding whether she should go back to ICU (where her body would basically be artifically maintained by machines - and only the family members can tell the doctor to remove the tubes eventually - i.e. someone has to say "please pull out the tubes"); or take on a minor operation (which any human can see that her body cannot withstand another operation no matter how minor). We drew a flowchart; and decided that she shouldn't have to go through either.

We invited Lama Shifu down to say some prayers for her - a notion many in the family probably felt weird initially - but it had the effect of calming all of us down; and getting us to a stage of accepting death and impermanence.

Second day of Lunar New Year - Chu Er - we gathered at 10am in the hospital to visit her. This time, we also brought along donations which we would like to contribute on her behalf.

At this difficult time, I realized that hey having a religion is really important. Rather than just standing and staring beside her; why not learn a word of chant or two - which can help her to lessen her suffering. It has become a helpful, life-enhancing conditioning for myself.

I have to admit I feel exhuasted; just like everyone in my family tree. I really couldn't bring myself to work for these two days (yes I was supposed to work).

Luckily I have a very supportive fiance, future mother-in-law, and a family tree where all work together to make the best decision without any unnecessary conflicts. In a way I feel fortunate.

Another picture

Sharing another picture of one of my evenings at Times Square. Strolling alone to soak in the energy level in Manhattan. This evening, I went to the hospital to visit Granny again. She does not look too good today, and I fear that she is suffering.

People may fear that accepting and thinking about death will make them morbid, or spoil their enjoyment of life's pleasures. But surprisingly, the opposite is true. Denying death makes us tense; accepting it brings peace. And it helps us become aware of what is really important in life - for example, being kind and loving to others, being honest and unselfish--so that we will put our energy into those things and avoid doing what would cause us to feel fear and regret in the face of death. -- Ven Sangye Khardo

It has been a week of ICU hospital visits. In a sense, lucky for me, this work week was scheduled with two days of Manager's Survival Kit training, so I didn't require the full focus that would otherwise be required on a typical work day. On another luckier note, it is also an event that brings all relatives together on a daily basis.

Death is a subject that most people do not like to hear about, talk about, or even think about. Why is this? After all, whether we like it or not, each and every one of us will have to die one day. And even before we have to face our own death, we will most probably have to face the deaths of other people -- our family members, friends, colleagues, and so forth. Death is a reality, a fact of life, so wouldn't it be better to approach it with openness and acceptance, rather than fear and denial? -Sangye Khadro

M&M - Times Square M&M (Oct 2007)

What I liked most about the M&M in New York was having been able to explore tons of different flavours. I bought the coffee and mint flavour home. Opposite was the Hershey's store where I bought one of my family's favourite candy, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

This is my first entry in 2008. A good start so far I have to say. Job opportunities are suddenly springing up for my fiance & myself. We started doing some daily chants, and attended a charity dinner for Dogs and Cats last evening. I have also finally managed to squeeze in time for Yoga on Wednesday.

Life changing choices get more difficult as you age. For the first time in my life, I did up a Pros and Con List and printed it out!! Oops but then right now, it is a little obselete as more sweet choices are springing up. I have to bear in mind what my mentor said "You shouldn't be working for the $. You have to choose what you like to do, and that is the only way you can do well. Thereafter, drive and determination will lead you to success in your selected field."

Someone is Feeling Bored

I do apologies if this is all old news for you and if you are tired of me lamenting on my own blog (of ya its mine btw). But I can't quite believe how I spent my Saturday. Spent an hour on the newspapers --> BF dropped me off @ Takashimaya where I exchanged a polo shirt size for him, and I post a cheque for him. I then walked around Taka trying to see if there are any satisfactorily sales item I could grab for the New Year. Disappointed to see 50%... off the 3RD ITEM, & lower of the three items... ooh can it get more complicated. Seriously I cant shop in SG. Did I mention in my earlier post there was a quality shoe shop in Hong Kong that had 70% off everything..aha thats what I call a sale. I also saw Anne Klein here discounted 20%-30%... it was still more expensive than the pair I grabbed from Hong Kong.

Forget about the shopping. I headed home, continued reading while enjoying the osim isqueeze. Bro and I later forced Joan to set up a Facebook account. Oh ya, we added a profile picture for her, added friends for her...haha.

I was Joan's make-up artist for her annual D&D function @ Swissotel... and then I headed to Bf's place. Had dinner while watching a war movie...(wise choice?!) and continued my love affair with my laptop.

And then I got really bored... oh no are my weekends going to look like this? Maybe I prefer to be working huh? I hardly laughed hard today. I know I am going to be busy tomorrow looking at finance stuff...I read a Wealth book recently. It recommends half an hour devoted to Finance management daily. Conditioning requires effort, and so far BF and I have stayed devoted to this management.

How do most people spend their weekends?

A Treat from Times Square

This is the famous underwear wearing, guitarist cowboy (The Naked Cowboy), who is seen in the middle of Times Squre in NYC. He definitely caught the attention of the tourists, whether female or male. The model below - unknown...at least to me.

Its Christmas today. Just wanted to stay home to catch up on reading and financial matters - sorry family, didn't really want to battle the crowd in Orchard today.

Its holiday but I definitely have quite a bit on my mind to ponder about.


Read a little para of interest today.. the Dalai Lama identifies learning and education as the first step in bringing about internal transformation, rather than more transcendental or mystical spiritual practices.

Preparing For Christmas.... Although it has started in NYC in Oct

Yes I snapped this scene back in Oct!

December, the time to slow down at work, and prepare for a warming good time with family & closed friends.

Last year I spent it in Kyoto with my bf... there was hardly any Christmas mood in exotic Kyoto. Happy to be back this round!

As I approach the end of the year, it is also time to reflect on the obstacles and problems I have experienced, and how it is helpful to take the long-term rather than the short-term view.

...Happy preparation for the holidays!!

Shopping in Hong Kong & Eating Non-stop

Took a four-day trip to Hong Kong. Third time I am returning, yet I find myself eating and shopping non-stop... seriously.

This time the trip included my bf, and our two mothers. We had a lovely time digging at the shopping bargains Hong Kong could offer. Service was generally professional, and I liked how the shops would wrap my shoes differently (without a box) if I mentioned I am taking this back by plane. The mothers, surprisingly or not surprisingly, chatted non-stop and had better stamina that the young ones when it comes to checking out the bargains. I have never seen Auntie so energetic at Every shop.

I love the discounts. One quality shoe shop had all pairs at 70% off. Mum didnt have a problem spotting x pairs of her favourite. SK II was also much cheaper. Ooh I feel cheated buying these imports in Singapore.

The Landmark in Central Hong Kong was very interesting to stroll & shop in. Christmas decorations are gorgeous and it carried numerous prestigious international brands...


...my favourite meat dishes were the Peking duck, suckling pig (had it three times) and fatty char siew. We also had three dim sum meals. That means an extra hour of exercise regime for me.


I was also suprised by how logical I was when it came to shopping. I had a step by step thought process of whether I should make the plunge or not. I am quite sure my purchases were all value-for-money and necessities only.

What a delight!!

Hectic, why does that keep on being the buzz word for me even when during the weekend?

Getting so tired...

INCUBATE

Never a week of rest - this week I was kept busy with preparing for year end, incubating on a work opportunity someone presented, and exploring Facebook.

Do I give up my current comforts, stable career path for an exciting & more business driven option? Although this might also mean starting from a little bit of scratch, whereas in a P&L role I am almost about to make a mangerial level. One thing I know I should do is, keep an open mind. At least that is what I learnt from the Japan relocation experience. An open mind opens up opportunties I have never thought of. Of course, the decision cannot simply be based on "Life is short, just do it!"..so I am incubating...& I need an alert mind..striving for sufficient sleep & eating healthy.

Facebook. Hong Kong tycoon Li Ka-shing has invested $60 million in fast-growing social network Facebook, with an option for an additional $60 million - Reuters Nov 30 2007. I was first introduced to Facebook by e-chan in NYC in her apartment. She gave me a live demonstration of how Facebook (a company valued at $15 billion) works. Returning home, I decided...ok lets just sign up an account & see what all the fuss is about. In a matter of two weeks, I got in touch with friends all the way from Primary School, and two social event calendar invites. Not too bad.

Am I ready?..Settling Down...or Dreaming Big?

So I got engaged last week. I had an interesting lunch with one of my ex-colleagues where we both shared the same concerns as women. Do we utilize our intelligence and capabilities as support for establishing a new family? Or should we focus on building up our career; landing a more aggressive role - but of course this might mean the relationship taking on a less focus in terms of time devotion.

Pros of being Hero Support

- Most successful men I know do not have their partners working. In fact, the leading lady plays a support role in terms of finance management, coordination, sanity check, social schedule, PR. If the men is properly supported, he can bring in more bread, which is better for the long-term benefits of the couple.

- Women have a biological clock limitation. Having a less aggressive career or staying home may mean better physical conditions to have a baby.

- Look less haggard (which is what a lot of men want probably).

- Potential relationship friction if the lady outshines the man in shining armour.

- Less conversations on how frustrating work has been or politics @ work (even if the guy tries to lend his ears to be supportive, I believe they would prefer not to hear such grumbles).

Pros of pursuing an aggressive career

- self satisfaction, achievements & tangible monetary rewards.

- conversations would not be limited to price of vegetables @ NTUC.

Like it or not, the human existence is precious. We pondered about how much potential lies within our body. Without any constraints, could we bring more meaning, benefits and advantages to life.

I need confidence and courage to make a life-changing decision. Still pondering over the pros and cons, but I guess whatever the choice is, as long as I am committed to using my human existence in a positive way, that is probably the right choice.

Sense of Urgency

This week was extremely fulfilling, with events packed tightly each day. Hoo! Last minute preparation on Wednesday evening for the Engagement dinner; Woke up early on Thursday morning to exchange rings, engagement dinner in evening to follow; and Friday morning coffee meeting with a MD. Adrenaline I will call it! Relatives mingled well, okay but with the exception of the kids table -- we forgot that at the age of puberty, that is the age you Dont Want to Socialize with the opposite sex.

With so much love and delight at the dinner, Irwin & I feel re-charged to conquer the world..haha, re-charged with goals to wana build a better life together.

My Friday morning meeting further gave me a motivational boost. Of significance during the meeting, that drives me (crazy) during this weekend was his question "Are you where you are today because of conscious decisions you have made along your life? Or as a matter of events, circumstances, or your family, that brought you to where you are?"

I just watched an episode of Heros Season II. During this one hour, there was also the question: Are you a robot or an alien? Because robots follow, whereas aliens be what they want to be.

Suddenly I feel charged with a sense of urgency.

Not the Tallest

The world's tallest man-made structure is now the Taipei 101 Tower. However I have never quite heard of it. I was lucky enough though to have landed on The Empire State Building, the tallest and most famous skyscraper in new York.

The queue was kinda endless, but lucky for that I also met two Australian ladies whom I travelled with for the rest of the day. I remember it costs US$18, a two dollar increase from my guide book. Some areas in the interior were also under renovation - rather unglamorous. Queen Elizabth II had been at the Observatory to gaze down at the City - so I have to do it too!

On the 86th floor observatory (320m above the city), you can see breakthtaking views of the city. To me, what was amazing wasnt the "beauty" of the city (like you would expect from the Eiffel Tower)-- rather it was the tall, packed buildings, which signifies tons of activities, business transactions going on to build this giant economy. The Chrysler Building (center, silverish, pointed) definitely adds a touch of difference or you can call it grace, to the skyline.

This week was definitely hectic again. So much so that I had to ask for a one-on-one with my boss to discuss the mounting workload. He was cool. He offered me compromises to every problem I brought up. I think I might just be quite lucky to be working with him directly.

Saturday didnt cease to slow down. My bf put down every item in his PDA with an alarm, and we basically followed a planned (and stressful) schedule to complete the muliple tasks we wanted to achieve this weekend.

We kicked off with a morning visit to the hospital, then headed to Friend Art to buy papers & stickers because his mum would like to see everyone with a table name tag during Thursday's dinner. We also bought a Japanese theme paper so that we could print the family tree chart for both families & relatives. We then collected our engagement bands, and then went off to Raoul to buy a shirt for the dinner. Finally I slowed down by having facial with my mummy at Thomson. In the evening, it was followed by dinner with bf's sister, who returns from London only once a year. After dinner, we had to put our origami skills to the test, and started cutting, writing, putting stickers for every guests on Thursday. I was dead beat by midnight, and couldnt even spell some of my cousins' names properly... All of this.. just for an engagement dinner? I am determined to keep my wedding dinner really small. Maybe 15 tables.

Finally the chaos stopped a little on Sunday. I could write my blog, pay my bills, and took out Ajahn Brahm's book to read. Funny enough, the new chapter I am embarking on is "Love and commitment". It talked about unconditional love - it means opening the door of your heart to somebody else, with no 'ifs'.

Want to share a comedy I have been watching in NYC. I had endless dosage of Sex in the City, Family Guy, and Kathy Griffin. Here's two of her clips!

Kathy Griffin on Ryan Seacrest

The Real Greener Pastures



On my first visit to Central Park, I strolled for three hours at Manhattan's finest. I even went back for a second visit, refusing to take the Crosstown bus. Just read on the press that Central park recently launched a new activity - riding a horse through Central Park!

Well, I usually dont blog so quickly, especially following one I posted just yesterday evening. But I am feeling really Glump. Worked late, feeling too much deadlines pressure, no time to eat. I think I need to bring up all these issues during the one-on-one meeting. Had to do my own P&L, review my team's, cover for my team-mate on vacation, make sure systems are up and ready otherwise I have to kick off an issue with the IT as early as possible, make sure the team goes off on time, and deal with my own gastric problems....cant believe it, the drama can simply go on...



While I grumbled to my bf and mum late in the night (this zaps energy too!), I was at the same time wondering if I could ever be as calm as Lama Shifu whenever I feel Frustration. He is so gentle and wise when he provides direction and guidance, and nothing seems to ever rock him of his calmness. I guess I still have a lot to learn. Awareness brings conviction. Hopefully this understanding will bring about determination to change for the better. Will put in more effort to establish this new habit!

NEW YORK: MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY

One of my most enjoyable museum visit was American Museum of Natural History. I spent three hours in the museum but could only cover less than half (damn). Its hard to describe, but its perhaps like our own Science Centre, only that it is many many times better. It was highly recommended by my colleagues and in guidebooks, and I could see why. Although I was walking, exploring and talking to myself most of the time "Whooaaa", "So longggg", blah blah, it was inspirational to be close to nature & how different lives started (or ended). Due to time constraint, I had to look at the Floor plan and prioritize where I should head to.

I walked to the Dinosaurs section first. Well you will think its just fossils right, but I was amazed by the size of these extinct creatures. These fossils were interesting and kinda cute, but I started to imagine how threatening it would be, if really, they are still roaming around...My next destinations were the Mammal Halls and Ocean Life. Greeting you in Ocean Life is a 94-foot-long model of a blue whale - the largest animal ever to roam the planet. My last destination was the Hall of Human Origins.. I captured some cool and scary photos of skeletons (of humans) but I guess I will leave those out for now.

I have been so busy this week. At work, meetings with visitors from London, Tokyo and Hong Kong. I also had to rush an overdue Performance Evaluation submission.

At personal, planning for the engagement dinner. Bf and I decided to get our butts moving after his mother seems to be planning everything -- from food tasting, selecting the resturant, getting the cake. Today, we finally did something. We came up with the seating list, drew a family tree organization chart (as requested by auntie), and got myself a champagne and black dress.

Daily visits to the hospital. Funny to say, it was tiring to head to the hospital each time, yet it was enjoyable to be spending so much more time with Granny. My life stages and priorities are clearing changing..hopefully with more positive changes each time!