Married? That is the most frequent question I hear on a weekly basis.
Started: 2002
Status: Approaching 5 years in September
Disconnected Pattern: Nearly broke up once
Major challenge: Survived one year via long-distance (of course, in the beginning it was hell)
Book that can help an Engineer/ Finance Combination: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
A rather close friend of mine is getting hitched this August. This was decided after 5 months of dating. Most of us around him are rather worried, although he supported that he has done a thorough analysis (while being madly in love).
Personally my thoughts are, if you decide that you are going to spend the rest of your lives together anyway, why not hold off the decision to formalize it with pen and paper, and spend good time getting to know each other well. I dont deny peer pressure may kick in from time to time, as everyone younger around me are getting the certificates. But everyone has to choose their own life; and not follow the herd with the sheep mentality.
Divorce rate in Singapore stands at approximately 17.2%, with Sweden (54.9%), United States (54.8%) and Belarus (52.9%) topping the chart [Source: wikipedia]. If things doesn't turn out well, you can break up a relationship, but if a marriage fails, legally you need to be separated for three years before you can file for a divorce. With children involved, this further complicates the emotional distress. People around you would then be asking "Why are you getting a divorce?" -- a far more frustrating question than "When are you getting married?".
12 comments:
all the best to u!
Hello T@Z,
Thanks - although I am not 100% sure what it means in relation to the post. But I'll take it ;)
Same to you too!
eimi
:-P
You are so negative about marriage. When you are really in love with someone, you will have a different mindset. Believe in love, believe in yourself.
5 months may be too short a time to decide on getting hitched. 5 years may not be a good time either. No time is gd time.
Dun worry babe. Even though you have been very harsh and pragmatic, someone - 10837 miles away in another hemisphere, misses you loads.
Oophs... should that be km instead? ;)
Negative thoughts you have. You are talking about divorce before marriage :(
You have not found your true love?
Hi Anonymous 1,
I dont think my post speaks negatively about marriage. In fact I believe it is one of my main ways of finding happiness or motivating oneself in life.
I have seen enough divorces around me. It can really change a person's life or character. I think to have a lasting, satisfying relationship, it has to be based on a rather solid foundation. Thus, there is no need to rush especially when this is a lifetime commitment.
No time is good time sounds negative to me. I believe there is an appropriate timing for each couple, but of course some earlier, some much later, and some dont make it ;)
Anonymous 2 (haha funny name)
but... thanks. Its nice to know that on the other side of the continent, someone cares about U!..made my day...
Hi Helen,
Hmm maybe this post sent out negative thoughts abt marriage??! But to me, if you want to get into something, you better be aware of all its possible consequences. It is not realistic to ignore the fact that divorce cases do exist. Rather, recognise this fact, and try your best, not to get there...
Do you have a solid foundation with ur bf?
actually I dont understand the objective of this question, but will ans anyway... Having been in a long-term relationship that survived a long distance, I can't say that there is no strong foundation. But getting to know each other over a long-term can also mean you know the person inside-out and feel ready to settle down; or you can realize that the relationship may not be suitable after all in the longer term...
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