Absolutely


This evening, despite leaving at 715pm, I took a cab home as I am - again exhuasted. The cab driver actually asked "Hmm why are you looking so tired?"

Hmm maybe I am pushing myself too hard? In between pockets of hands-on training time, I would do online webcast training to learn more. When I return home, I read Commodities news on Forbes. But hey the industry is interesting. It is a very volatile product compared to equity, FX or bonds... that makes it very exciting to read about...But since I am absolutely tired, which the taxi driver attested to... I shall stop here.

Mummy - the following paragraphs on Light Offerings are for you - sorry I didn't get back to you..I might as well write it here to remind myself too...

Making Light offerings (Lilian Too)

Light offerings can be candles, electricity lights, or butter (oil) lamps. Before putting on the lights, generate your bodhichitta motivation, and then think of a specific project for which you want blessings for success.

Then as soon as you turn on the lights or light the candles, always say OM AH HUM three times. In general if you do not bless the offerings immediately by saying this three-syllable mantra, they can be unsurped by wandering spirits and then the offerings become obstacles, rather than merit, for your practice.

Massages and sports to tackle weariness


Didn't know how to tackle it. It wasn't easy to switch from a management role to being operational again.

But the commodities market is indeed interesting. For a start, there are many interesting and indepth write-ups available on the internet. Well my direct manager Mr SF thinks that I am making the wrong decision (but of course)... a cliche, but only time will tell if the decision is right.

So comes weekend... of course I was exhuasted from the steep learning curve week. My sister and I were both fed up with feeling exhausted and decided to head to Thomson for a massage. Most places were fully booked, although we eventually managed to squeeze into Tranquility Cove. There was a promotion package S$40 for an hour of foot, head, shoulder and neck massage. I was also very lucky to have met Uncle Goh who was tendering to the massage. He is slightly blind but an extremely experienced and kind man. I gave him a healthy tip as an appreciation of his professionalism. He is old, probably in his 60s? He was in fact panting a little bit since he had to exert strength for the massages... I went home later and took a swim in the evening with Irwin - we were too tired to go out.. (he slept an average of four hours daily this week!)

Sunday - Tennis with Dad & sister... (we had to force Daddy to exercise - he is losing motivation in his exercises he says).. and then facial in the late afternoon with Mum... oops perhaps a weekend of over-pampering.... but I needed it! arrghh I don't want to go to work tomorrow!!

Goodbye Credit, Hello Commodities

I started my controlling career in credit..it has been two years. Today, I rotated to the sexy and all-talked about product - commodities P&L. I left my team. Leaving was somewhat more difficult than I expected - the friendship and gossip gang built up - today I started new bonds with a fresh group of ladies.

Last Friday my team gave me a farewell I didnt expect - a huge lunch (there was no way I could speak with everyone); a bouquet of flowers; a Tiffany pen; and a "Sorry you are leaving card".

Phew it wasn't exactly an easy start today. Totally new product. I would say because oil is easier to relate to in human terms as compared to credit derivatives - the higher the expectation to know and understand. It starts from oil exploration -->Drilling --> Refining... It is a good opportunity to learn.

Hmm but of course I am giving up comforts. The comfort of knowing a product for two years. Being able to knock off at 7-8pm daily. I think with my current team it could go beyond that for at least the first few months.

But I believe I will really learn the business this time. The training materials and market reports are impressive to begin with. Then again, if I have family responsibilities now I will probably not have the guts to give up the comforts of the credit world. Since I do not - well, be prepared for the hard work and late evenings to come.

Robert Collier in his book said "The most important province of your conscious mind is to center your thoughts on the thing you want - Believe that you receive and then shut the door on every suggestion of fear or worry or failure. If you once gain the ability to do that, nothing else is impossible to you." - better remind myself that...

Around the World

That was the 2008 Dinner & Dance theme.

Although I could join my colleagues only at 10pm - I had no regrets running over from Hyatt to Marriot.

After my ROM dinner, I decided that I will leave my newly crowned hubby to go home to pack his suitcase for his Frankfurt trip. I didn't want to miss this year's D&D as I had a lot of fun @ last year's. It was a time to mingle with the colleagues you see daily, without having to think a single thread about workload stress or politics. Agree?

So I survived a pretty decent week without Irwin around. I took vacation on Friday; but ended up helping my dad at his office. Although it was stressful, it cannot beat the tension stress that my family and relatives are facing. My sis asked "Why do we seem to have more problems/ issues than other families?" I replied "Because we care." - Sis: "Thats a nice way to put it." Whatever it is, we are tired out - from the loan issue, to the hospitalization, to the death, to the funeral, settling S's new housing...

Saturday night - I couldnt quite get to sleep and I finished the Delog book. I can't say if I fully comprehend the book 100%, anyway here's a final paragraph from the last chapter - and writing it here just serves as a good reminder for myself.

Delog, Delog Dawa Drolma

The king of destiny made the following commands:

All of you in the world of the living, high or low:
All that is born dies, and all that comes together falls apart.
The final outcome of gathering is dispersal, and the final outcome of rising is falling.
Since nothing in cyclic existence is permanent or stable, do not cling to the seeming permanence of things or fixate on them as true.
Whatever appears to you is like the experiences in a dream; do not be attached to illusory apperances of happiness.
If you want happiness, abandon distraction and laziness.

If you do not wish to suffer, purity the effects of former harmful deeds, and firmly resolve not to commit them again.
The karmic results of positive and negative actions are infallible; do not deny them with empty words.
You will be reborn in a land of darkness that lasts a great aeon.
Those with great desire and avarice will suffer from hunger and thirst in the preta realms for one million eight hundred thousand years.
Those with evil motivation and an obsession with killing will experience the hot and cold hells for many aeons.

Those who are envious and competitive, or who delight in quarreling and strife, will suffer for a long time in the realms of demigods.
Those whose minds are swollen with arrogance and whose good karma is subject to exhaustion will be reborn among gods and will eventually fall from their state.

..Maybe not a good choice for bedtime reading after all..

So...It happened...

On April 4th, a date selected by Lama Shifu, Irwin & I signed the marriage certificate. Sweet, but another significant event was he had to fly off the very next day to Frankfurt for business. In a sense I had a lot of free time since last Friday. I went home over the weekends and showed my curious mum how to chant. Because I had to explain, I began to ponder more. Why is Buddism practice in South East Asia different from that of Tibet?

I worked late for the past two nights - it feels rotten to work late these days - and even more meaningless because I return back to an empty room without Irwin making ridiculous jokes to me daily. oooh now I realize his significance in my life.. Because of the rotten two nights I was really craving for tranquility tonight. Good start - I managed to attend my Body Balance class - got back home at 10pm, and Auntie Gui and I talked non-stop, including Buddism. She introduced a new book to me "Opening the door to Dharma" - timely...

News

Well today is April Fools' Day - we have chosen this date to collect the pre-populated marriage certificate from Registry of Marriage (ROM). We had to meet Mr Lee, Justice of Peace at 11am at his office. Not funny - we actually forgot that we had to go to ROM this morning to bring the certificates to Mr Lee for our pre-ROM counselling (so us!)..so we dashed out of the house and I told Irwin's mum I couldn't eat her specially prepared tea eggs as "we miscalculated the timings again!"

If there is nothing to excite us further, we arrived and was greeted by a lady who asked to see our filing notice...Irwin & I looked shocked "filing notice, filing notice?!" Luckily the lady said "never mind" and gave us a ticket to proceed to the counter. Another lady met us and asked us for our filing notice - sorry we didn't have it. She smiled politely, "Never mind". She asked for our NRICs, including our witnesses - and we went "Huh? NRIC for our witnesses?!" She said "Never mind"...We had to read an oath with our right hand up.. When she pointed the paragraph we had to read individually, we were just shocked (so long?!) so I asked "Can we read it together, its faster"..She said with a smile "No" - but in a "hey can't you tell this is not about efficiency" tone. So we took the declaration & oath without nonsense...

Meeting Mr Lee was even more interesting. He is a very charimastic lawyer and entrepreneur. He first started - trying to induce some fear into us "Are you sure, beyond reasonable doubt (typical of a lawyer) that you wana do it? This is for a lifetime"...Grin * yes... He then took us through what we should say on our Solemization Day - he said we could reply softly Yes I do; or shout out loud - even if all his employees can hear it - its fine. He asked if we wanted to write our own vows because some couples want to express strong words such as "I love you with alllllll my heart and soul" - he said it expressively; but followed by a right hand loud bang on the table - "but you must let me know earlier!" ..."otherwise lets follow this standard wedding vows".

"Then you can exchange the rings, and then clap clap clap. You will then kiss - you can choose to do a quick peck or a do a long kiss - some couples do a really long one - but its really up to you"... He stressed that marriage is a lifetime commitment and no one should walk out in an argument "Don't be the first one to stand up!".

Its just been a humour-infused day for us - I guess thats an important ingredient to keep a relationship going strong!