He is five months old...



Yep, whenever I feel down, I take a peek at him and I feel a lot more better. I used to wonder why mummies like to use their kids' photos as the Facebook profile picture or their mobile wallpaper. Now, I know why its their favourites. Theodore now dominates my FB picture and cellphone wallpaper.

Motherhood. Sometimes I like to read my friend's friend's blog. Its titled 'Motherhood is not for wimps'. Indeed it isn't. Especially for a first time mum, where you basically start from zero knowledge. I didn't quite have anyone to rely on. The nanny did not turn out to be as experienced as everyone praised her to me. MIL clearly has no ability to take care of a baby now. So is my mum who is busy with her own work. Thus, there is a lot of last minute reading and learning...and its just non-stop. Soon Theodore would be going onto solids, and it would be a whole new ball game for me to understand and learn. At times, it can feel stressful..hence the need for friends, online resources, books, a nice religion. I realised I have not felt at peace for some time... I wonder if I am feeling burnt out. Even a facial did not seem to rejuvenate me. Yes, my last real travel was two years ago..thats totally not me...yet at this point, I know better that my decisions are no longer based on my wants.

Yesterday mum and bro were kind enough to take Teddy and myself out for dinner. Teddy was shouting and showed excitment as he watched me pack the baby bag lol... He knows. At five months, he has gained better awareness. At home, he likes to shout and play with his vocals...

I need an energy booster. True Yoga has been calling me for free trials which I am so tempted, but yet I don't want to leave the baby alone at home. I need motivation. I need to know that I am doing A-ok as a mum, and that I am giving and providing Teddy with the best that he can possibly have - be it love, care, attention, trust, respect and kindness...