Update on the whirlpool

Yes it has been a whirlpool for both Irwin and myself. Irwin was hit with food poisoning over the weekend. I was not sure then if I should bring him to the clinic but upon my Dad's advice we brought him to Gleneagles clinic, where he was put on a drip for an hour or two. Finally his paleness faded and some touch of vibrance resumed. My Dad drove from home to pick us up and stayed with us through at Gleneagles without any hesitation. What can I say? A big thank you.

After he fetched Irwin home, he dropped me at NTUC finest at Somerset as I still had to do marketing for TD and cook for him. That was when my first diarrhea hit. I was all nausea by the time I called for a cab home. When I reached home, I cooked and pureed for TD. Shortly after, I lost appetite and was very nausea too. This continued till the next Monday afternoon. I didn't want to move much as I felt very nausea. Thank goodness somehow my Dad called again and he said he wanted to bring me to the doctor.

I had stomach flu and the doctor advised that both of us stay away from TD, and wear a mask at home.

Apart from the physical whirlpool, I/ we suffered a mental meltdown on Friday evening. MIL was frustrated that we did not cover the food after dinner. Even after I explained that I was very tired from work and forgot, she said "You are always like that, this is very basic." On Saturday, she quoted me out of context and said that I responded to her "I know I know" when she suggested that TD should wear anklet bells at home.

Basically I told her I would ask Irwin and she said "It is not to look good, its functional you know." I replied "I know I know, I will ask Irwin". She basically portrayed me to be very rude to Irwin.

I am glad that Irwin asked me and Sumini what happened, and he found the story to be different from what MIL said..(including the maid story, but I am too tired to write now). Irwin asked MIL why is her story so different from mine and Sumini's. MIL explained it was probably different perspectives. Irwin reminded MIL that in Buddhism there is a lot of emphasis on Body, Speech and Mind, and we cannot be untruthful about facts even if there are different perspectives of who is right or wrong. FIL nodded in agreement. (Apparently MIL was very nice and positive towards Irwin that day)

The Dalai Lama book, How to practise the way to a meaningful life, 2002 says that Harmony cannot thrive in a climate of mistrust, cheating, bullying and mean-spirited competition. Success through intimidation and violence is temporary at best; its trifling gains only create new problems.

Ok, why do I want to write this down? Not that I want to bear grudges, but this indeed has been a rather key event that has happened. Indeed there has been no peace in the family for a while because of mistrust. They think we are overloading the maid, we think they should help out a bit?... how about when we were sick? How about helping when we are both sick? Anyway there are always different perspectives.

My once again wise Dad told me. TD would be very close to me for perhaps another 20 years. Why not concenrate on the joy of bringing him up? Indeed, it will be more worthwhile. With that, I look forward to embracing more joyful days ahead.