Taken Over by Isolation - temporarily

Guess, its crazy, its 1:05am. At work today, I swore to myself I want to sleep earlier to I can perform better tml, but now I want to write this anyway...

Since I started this blog, most of the time I think of whether my entitled blog Isolation is appropriate. My conclusion is my gut feel of the name Isolation initially is simply just right for me.

Why the isolation? Because I am all alone. Alone not in a pathetic sense, but the opportunity to live alone overseas has taught me more. Learning to adapt to a new banking environment is one, learning to adapt the Japanese lifestlye is one, learning that I hv sleeping prob if I think too much/ upset @ night is one, learning about relationships is another.

No doutbt I have made many new frens here, true enough there is still isolation in this foreign country. The worse is when I have met sort of a close fellow singaporean who has also relocated here, but yet the frenship is pretentious. I dont get it, when both are facing isolations, dont they bond?

I cant play politics, I feel pretentious if I hv to. Yet it feels almost naive to think that to be an innocent free of politics- type of girl - u are gg to survive in an IB environment. Competition, jealousy. Yes I am in a good position, been posted to Tk straignt after landing this job from Singapore. But I am just doing my role the best I can - levelheadedly, logically on the face of this planet. I dont know y pple think politics and playing on emotions need to be involved. I hope the Heads, being experienced, see that some are just playing on emotions to score points/ attacking my planet.

Got home, had a long shower to calm my nerves, had an argument with my bf, which simply made things worse, yes the isolation is doubled or tripled.

I know I will keep going on strong. Not going to let judgement, fear, games get me down. I love my life no matter how isolated, and I will continue doing my best.

I should only do/ care what matters.