Feel like writing, out of the blue....

How many of us out there are really happy with what we have found in our life? How many of us out there are actually confused with what we really want?

Today I met up with a old friend for lunch. He has beeing seeing a girl for 10 months, and he looked blissed. Very happy for him.

I don't know how to explain my situation, but I am glad that my religion has stayed with me. In tough times, your mind is your strongest support (much as you can listen to the advice of people around you, it is limited).

Maybe I wish that things could be different, but for now I know I am remaining disciplined.

My sweet colleague passed me a book... here is an extract: By changing yourself, by realising the nature of self through selflessness, self-discipline and self-exertion, you can achieve perfection. By achieving perfection, your life becomes meaningful and you can tender great service to others. People will be inspired by your example; they will follow you and also achieve the common aim in life.

Maybe thats how I should live my life... its no longer about wants.. but perhaps making the best use of the precious and limited lifespan that each of us are given... we'll see...

but hey this is not an entry on pessimism - just trying to find myself...

My weekend...the time I look forward to..

Started my Saturday at Takashimaya at the pots section. Taka had a good promotion yesterday. With every $100 you spent, you get $10 cash voucher in return (with the Taka Platinum card). Spent about an hour there, and my friend bought about $1,500 worth of pots and pans. Hee, I used my card, and we managed to get $100 worth of Taka vouchers - which we utilized on the day itself.

Funny promotion. Even the pots and pans were discounted at 30%. Good buy. And I thought the the Great Singapore Sale was over last weekend?!

Went to Wheelock - sent in the ipod for a second time! and quickly grabbed a shampoo.

Bought a hot chocolate from Coffee Bean and finally could calm down and walked over to Mogu Mogu for lunch. After lunch, I walked home from Far East. Don't know how long it took, but with my ipod stuck in my ears, and in high heels, I walked along Stevens Road. Funny, but I do enjoy such moments alone. Reached home - a little sweaty, I napped... and then headed to the pool for a swim and a read of The Last Chinese Chef.

In the evening, I had to attend a friend's father's 60th birthday dinner. Survivable...heehee. It was an architect's home. Done up nicely with calligraphy, art sculptures, buddhism art, and Tibetan sculptures. Very good food provided too - oysters, fondue, chesse and crackers, wine... But I didnt find anyone stimulating enough to speak to at the party. Pleasant conversations... Took off at about 9pm.

Sunday - not much of a splash... listening to Diana Krall now. Gonna run around the hills in the sun in a bit! Thats how I feel alive... dont know what else I'll be doing this evening. Trying to remain disciplined not to login to work - probably read a book and see what else exciting might happen?!!!

Applicable to my work now is an extract that I read today:

Whether a life situation is wonderful or not depends on the way your mind perceives and interprets it. You can choose to label an experience "wonderful" or "a problem." It depends completely upon your mind, upon your interpretation.

Kyabje Lama Zopa Rinpoche

Meanwhile, enjoy this song by Diana Krall: Lets fall in Love.

Mid-week back-breaking update

We had a mini farewell dinner last Sunday as one of the families would be relocating to Canada - another country to look forward to in terms of exploration.

Phew.. Back breaking.. yes indeed... I wonder how long I can hang on to this. All the mental persuasion I have been telling myself. To Conquer, to conquer... No doubt though, I have been learning a lot a lot a lot... but the rate of learning and pace of working is rather killing... hoping to stabilize in a matter of three more months...

Diana Krall.. she is coming to Singapore! How timely! Listening to The look of love right now while typing this. She is coming on September 26... just two days after my birthday! I have to attend this - the question is with who.. I was speaking with hubby and he didnt seem to think much about her - goto watch it with someone who appreciates no? concerts are about the experience and yea its not cheap too.....

Today is Chu Yi Shi Wu - hmm I believe its an important Buddhist day where we should eat vegetarian... but I have no idea what Chu Yi Shi Wu signifies...(pardon me but I had roast pork @ lunch since I had a Japanese visitor; and Auntie prepared Yu Sheng for dinner...hmm maybe she forgot too..hahaha)...

Life goes on...

Mystic Friend

Seems to be getting a bit more difficult in finding the time to write. Still, life is pointless without stopping periodically to reflect what has happened for the week or so...

Work-wise, the toughness has reduced slightly towards the end of the week. My mentor has advised me to keep a record of how time is spent daily in order to find out why we work late sometimes as it is not sustainable... (hee and my late was just two days at 9pm during month end... good that it caught his attention and he decided its not sustainable!). Some change management expected to come...!

We went to get the ipod touch fixed - and guess what - the apple service provider is exchanging an entirely new one for him! and it can be collected shortly next week! whoa... he was grinning from ear to ear and I kept teasing "how are you going to thank me for this new ipod?!!"... Very good after-sales from Apple I must say.

While waiting for the ipod touch to be diagnosed, we had an interesting conversation ranging from work (which we shouldn't have gotten there) to hmmm Buddhism! I always had this funny funny feeling at the back of my head that he could be inclined towards Buddhism - although extremely low chance & slightly ridiculous..and he really surprised me this time. His understanding of Buddhism (as compared to other religions as a choice) was very profound, and he has read books on Dalai Lama too. SHOCKING... what does he not explore?

Actually the more important step we took was to seat down, had a cold drink and figure out where this friendship was going. Luckily...phew..phew.. we decided that this is friendship - a friendship that is going from good to great, and since we make each other laugh so much, there is no reason to throw this away...So, we will continue to share books, music and movies to come!

Ok I bought two more CDs on Diana Krall this week... gotto share one video here at least ;)... Enjoy!

In Love with Music

This was the challenging work week - oh well I confess - I went back to the office on Saturday for half a day too. Not done - work will never get done. But today I really disciplined myself not to work - not to login - coz i know that even if there are problems, it would sort itself out during the work week. Work is a slice of life - it cannot be everything - some individuals recognize that - some don't/ won't.

This week, my new found music love was Diana Krall - a jazz singer - The Look of Love album. Happy to be discovering new music and feeling more alive. Also in a bit of opera mood this week... listening to Phantom of the Opera now. Also my sister's favourite - although we both agree that it can be quite scary to listen to that album in the night.

A colleague lent me his ipod Touch - kinda unlucky - the brightness went very dim after the battery went down to just 10% level; and now it never goes back to the usual brightness - can't see the screen clearly now unless there is lighting. I walked over to the ipod store today and the service provider is closed on a Sunday... Have to get it sorted - feeling bad (although I know its not my fault) - apparently its a known technical problem with the ipod Touch - but damn it has to happen when it is with me!! yeeks!

Life goes on - hoping this coming work week will be good - I'll be good & everything will be good. Maybe its not good enough to hope - I have not not be chanting - gosh what happened? I went to Mogu Mogu for lunch today and read the following. I know its a cliche but so often forgotten in our daily life.

Most people are always carrying the burden of the past, anticipating the future, while missing life in the present...Be a person who dissolves into the present.. Yeh!.. Do not be a slave who carries the burden of the past and anticipates the future. Yeh!.. Be like a boat that flows in time and space...Yeh!

I know what you are thinking.. whats with the language...oh well this is extracted from the comic on Heart Sutra - hai, so desu.

Do you listen to your Head or your Heart?


Not bad. Its month end +2 and I managed to take off work at 715pm.

Hmm, I don't really know what I want to write about today. It is just nice to have time in the evening to do your own private things... not that I had an easy day today.. Started work at 8am and worked non-stop both on a procedural and analytical way. I downed three cups of caffeine yesterday - today better only the usual two - and was treated to Aroma's coffee (can't complain!)

Can't help remembering a text - I didn't reply, but it doesn't mean I didnt pay attention to it. If I remember accurately ;) "Forbidden fruits will always seem sweeter, but it may not all be good for the body...one will usually have to pay for the repercussion later on..."

This week, I have been using music to accompany me. I have been introducted to Cesaria Evora. Love it... I don't understand the language, but the songs are really beautiful. Aiya I am not funky enough to add music to the blog. If someone is willing to share (the most easy & efficient way please) how, I will be willing to share it on the blog too ;)

Just have to keep focused for this month end and hopefully all will go smooth...

Life

Back in October 2007 when I was visiting New York, I joined two Australian ladies on a ferry ride to a treat of the Statue of Liberty - a symbol seen many times in movies. Although I did not get off the ferry to explore the island further, it was memorable to witness the monumental work of sculpture.

In the design stage, it was originally supposed to be a lantern and a headdress, which was later refashioned and proposed to be a torch and crown of rays respectively ("Liberty Enlightening the World").

It is not just a statue - liberty comes at a cost as we all know.

On Saturday, I joined my bank's Volunteer Group event to the zoo. We brought about 80 kids to the zoo. I am not sure why they were categorized as requiring volunteer care although they had Care teachers. When I asked the Care teachers why, it was because they generally come from complex family backgrounds and the lower academic strata in Sg - i.e. perhaps on the brim or line of swinging both ways - be good - or turn bad (and join triads perhaps??!)



My family - funny weekend I say - Dad flew off for work. Bro took off for New Zealand, Sis flew off to Dubai for work - oops and Mum is all alone at home.. well I guess it is also a good time for her to do the things she really wants to..









Sunday morning was brilliant. Started off with coffee and toast at the pool; a swim; and lazing around at the pool. In the afternoon a colleague and I brought a Hong Kong visitor for dim sum. We headed to St Regis for coffee after that. Excellent excellent ambience... but the coffee quality was - to my standard disappointing! Hee and we ended the evening with a foot and back massage together...haha teaching the girl to pamper herself since she works sooo hard during the weekdays.


So here I am back home, preparing to start a new week of challenge. I must admit I have not really done my prayers or read religiously this week. I have also ..sigh.. been naughty this weekend... too much texting...oops dangerous maybe?!

The Forbidden Phase...

Its 1130pm...
Seating here by myself in front of the laptop that accompanied me faithfully throughout my one year stint in Tokyo.
Not funny, Mr Gui is not home yet at this hour!
Not a rare moment at this timing...

I had a very interesting lunch with one of the traders this afternoon. So far coffee chats and a meal have really taught me a thing or two. Of significance:

".. Don't be jealous, you are only limited by your imagination!" (although this was related to a travel conversation rather than work)

@ today's lunch, A was telling me how he was recruited and had to fly to London for an interview. He turned down Goldman's attractive offer which many in the industry thought he was mad. If he went to GM, he would have been offered a higher designation and would be heading a team. I thought it was a ridiculous offer at his age. But he says "nothing is ridiculous in this world, just look at Facebook which is now valued at a whopping $15 billion". In my bank, he wasn't offer that but he decided it wouldnt be GM. Still... at a tender age of 3X, I would label him as extremely successful. He repeatedly said, "at the end of the day, its about knowing what you want".

It is not always the man who struggles hardest who gets on in the world. It is the direction as well as the energy of struggle that counts in making progress. To get ahead -- you must swim with the tide. Men prosper and succeed who work in accord with natural forces. A given amount of effort with these forces carries a man faster and farther than much more effort used against the current. Those who work blindly, regardless of these forces, make life diffcult for themselves and rarely prosper. -- Robert Collier

I now know better the formula for career...but who is going to give me some proper guidance on managing a relationship?

Before Nov 15 @ Brooklyn Bridge walk + Times Square....and Now after Nov 15...

Ok, I have been lazy. These are pictures during my vacation in 2007 which I have not posted, and I guess I will not write more about the trip since pictures are supposed to say a thousand words...

Why Nov 15? Well, its the date I got engaged. Thinking back, I had to stroll romantic Brooklyn Bridge alone - well I enjoyed it - but still I was alone. After Nov 15's engagement right now.. I am still alone. If I had more energy I would have written a post "The Frustrations of Loving an Entrepreneur".. well I believe anyone who is dating an entrepreneur now would agree with me on the challenges and compromises required. Its bloody tough.. but what to do... he will say "I am working so hard now because I want to provide for you."... What can you or anyone do about that?!! Ok don't want to spoil the mood of the pictures below. Hopefully calmer by the time I reach the end of the post...

I did read an extract last night - although relating to understanding of the Dharma, I find it applicable to daily life.

Outward Distraction

A distracted mind will not be able to concentrate. To improve our practice, it would be better to minimize activities that may cause us to lose our focus, such as partying, "nightclubbing" and gossiping, as it is very easy for our minds to become attached to objects that attract our six sense of six consciousness, which are our eyes, nose, tongue, ears, touch and mind.

The eye consciousness is attracted to form, which could be objects or the human body. Many of us appreciate the sight of a beautiful man or woman. Appreciation by itself is fine. But when desire and attachment accompany appreciation, this might lead to complications such as martial or relationship problems. Usually, the desire to possess is something due to the eye consciousness. When we see something that we like, it is desire that drives us to possess it. Hence, this makes us work hard for our beautiful houses and cars. However, having worked to hard to acquire the object, once it has been possessed, our euphoria is brief, and the suffering we have in the form of the big loan repayment is long.

So, being easily distracted by objects of the six senses may cause us to act rashly and irrationally.

So we must learn to be less attached to objects, and learn to control our minds.

~ from a Precious Gift by 12th Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche

I'm trying to be good, you know?


Thats Bergdorf Goodman (BG) on Fifth Avenue. The window displays are all an art by itself. Sorry I don't have a more ideal picture. It is simply a place for sophisticated shopping.. and time to keep your camera in your bag!

I remember walking through the uncluttered displays, organized departments and helpful staff, whilst soaking in the air of sophistication.

Today I received a gift from BG. A gift delicately wrapped up in a silver BG box, and elegantly contrasted with a lilac BG ribbon.

Strangely enough, I felt a little sad/ depressed when I reach home. I am beginning to feel a bit confused about all these. What is the intention? Kind as it is, sweet as it is, caring as it is...shouldn't there be a line? Someone is going to get hurt in the end isn't it?

Another reason that I felt a bit down was because my favourite team-mate wasn't around today..ah i am starting to sound childish... no one to really chat with, no one to say cheers to...

Last week's MR training was really tough too. This paragraph which I also shared with my team-mate brightened me up a little (last week).

A good student must learn to extract the essence of his teacher's teachings like bees extract nectar from the flower. At the same time, the good student must remember to water and look after the flower, as the bee still needs to make honey. - 12th Zurmang Gharwang Rinpoche

I feel uneasy.

Statue of Hercules

Statue of Hercules situated in 5th avenue, NYC, across the street from St. Patrick's Cathedral. Remembering the days when I strolled on the streets of Manhattan alone.

Alone -- yes I was so alone this week. Mr Gui is serving his second week of reservist national service. I started a new routine this week. Slept before 11pm, woke up before 7am, and started work before 8am. I also treated myself to Aroma's and Starbucks coffee to kick-start my hectic work days. Basically it has been a 8am - 8pm work week, with some days starting at 7:30am in fact... and the amazing thing is I don't feel tired! When I used to sleep at midnight, I can sometimes still feel tired the next morning despite clocking eight hours. I guess before 11pm might be the magic hour for me to have a good re-charge. Music has also been one of my key friends this week. I listen to my itunes while showering and till I go to bed (otherwise it is too quiet!!).

Because I work harder now, I think it has also become more important for me to take care of my health. This morning I woke up at 8am and went for a swim (whooo hoo). A pity there was no sun this morning, but I still enjoyed my reading. "Thought, not money, is the real business capital," said Harvey S. Forestone, "and if you know absolutely that what you are doing is right, then you are bound to accomplish in due season."

Thinking about a personal situation I am facing... how would you know for sure if something is clearly right or wrong? Am I dwelling in a state of confusion? Am I at fault? Did I initiate any negative action? Is it desire and ignorance? Am I creating negative actions even if I don't initiate but respond?

Return of Bobby Heng - the VIP at the Tibetan Ceremony

Back track, this was in March 20 2008 - a religious blessing ceremony for Mr Gui & myself.



We are not quite sure who is the VIP. Bobby was just everywhere. Or perhaps the photographers chose him to be the star of the event instead.

Yes thats him, right in the centre.

Us saying thanks at the end of the ceremony.

I think he looks very Tibetan!

He definitely looks "in"!

This week was hectic at work as usual - hence the non-blogging. I however did manage to steal some time this weekend to try to rejuvenate myself. Did brunch with sister, went for yoga alone, foot massage alone and facial with mum. Mr Gui and I managed a Yakiniku dinner and Sunday morning McDonald's breakfast together... okay I have to give him some credit for squeezing time out since he is managing both his workload and a three weeks reservist training with the army.

I read a poem of interest which I shared with my sister and Mr Gui over the weekends ... reproduced here:

There are two kinds of people on earth today,

Just two kinds of people, no more, I say.

Not the good and the bad, for it's well understood

The good are half bad, and the bad are half good.

Not the rich and the poor, for to count a man's wealth

You must first know the state of his conscience and health.

Not the humble and proud, for in life's busy span

Who puts on vain airs, is not counted a man.

No, the two kinds of people on earth I mean

Are the people who LIFT, and the people who LEAN!

Wherever you go, you will find the earth's masses

Are always divided in just these two classes.

And strangely enough, you will find too, I ween,

There's only one LIFTER to twenty who LEAN.

In which class are you? Are you easing the load

Of overtaxed LIFTERS, who toil down the road?

Or are you a LEANER, who lets others bear

Your portion of labor, and worry and care?

- ELLA WHEELER WILCOX

Beauty of Nature

Of course of course, you can't find it in this country.

Thats the beauty of photography - it lets you recall the wonderful memories you once had. These were taken in Karuizawa in Japan.

This week at work had its ups and downs. Up - I had a good half an hour coffee session with a senior management. I was hesitant at first, but I realized the opportunity to hear the wise words from someone who has made it - its priceless. Another up - one of my team-mates is a buddhist. One evening when we were working late till 9pm - I was really miserable. She turned to me and said "Nothing is permanent, not even pain"... I burst out with relief... "You are cool, you are so right"... and quickly I gained back my smile...

Down ... hey actually apart from having to work hard, there wasn't too much of a down to pen down...phew... (maybe my team-mate's advice helped).


I just came back from a Mother's Day celebration with my family. Stepped into the house.. Irwin and I exchanged some quick hugs and pecks, and apologetically he had to leave the house at 930pm on a Sunday evening for work. He would be home by 12am, but it would be another all-night work for him.

This morning, we met shifu today and he gave us a small speech on wisdom. He stresses that in our daily life, if we do not use our wisdom, we cannot differentiate between right and wrong, good and bad. Ultimately, wisdom is the pratice that brings us to full realization. Actions carried out with wisdom, or with a correct understanding of emptiness, will generate extraordinary merits.

Talking about Temptations: Yes it is always around


Here we go again - whether single, attached, engaged or married. How exciting.

A weird topic maybe, but a situation not unexpected. Why would I write about this? Funny enough, today I was chatting with a colleague today and we started talking about temptations. He kinda confessed that he is married but was faced with temptation when he had to travel overseas for work - but anyhow he didn't do anything. He thinks that a situation can become a temptation only in the prescence of alcohol - I beg to differ... more potent is probably the type which does not require the alcohol to spark anything off.

Of course I wasn't going to escape his questioning since he "confessed". I said yes there are temptations but I just have to use my head. I didn't see it coming - but hey temptations around don't stop just because you wear a band on your fourth finger.

J also told me today that her colleague is seeing a married woman. I asked "is he attached?" J: "Yes - to that married woman!"

It is so easy to arrange for the marriage certificate to be signed. At that second when you pen down your signatures, everyone around you claps in joy. A divorce on the other hand is far more complicated. Under section 94 of the Women’s Charter, you cannot apply for a divorce if you have been married for less than three years unless you have the Court’s permission to do so. There are more legal requirements..blah blah - but I won't spend my Tuesday evening writing about such depressing stuff.

Some.. on the other hand... are single.. likes someone else who is also single but doesn't have the guts to pursue it.. Are you kidding me? Please, if you like someone - drop hints, hang out more with the other party - you know things are sure to happen... if not at least you gain a friend or get to know someone better....

On my way out to work today, I prayed at the altar table. If it is a meaningless meet-up, please don't let it happen... Indeed it had to be cancelled at the very last second. phew....

Absolutely


This evening, despite leaving at 715pm, I took a cab home as I am - again exhuasted. The cab driver actually asked "Hmm why are you looking so tired?"

Hmm maybe I am pushing myself too hard? In between pockets of hands-on training time, I would do online webcast training to learn more. When I return home, I read Commodities news on Forbes. But hey the industry is interesting. It is a very volatile product compared to equity, FX or bonds... that makes it very exciting to read about...But since I am absolutely tired, which the taxi driver attested to... I shall stop here.

Mummy - the following paragraphs on Light Offerings are for you - sorry I didn't get back to you..I might as well write it here to remind myself too...

Making Light offerings (Lilian Too)

Light offerings can be candles, electricity lights, or butter (oil) lamps. Before putting on the lights, generate your bodhichitta motivation, and then think of a specific project for which you want blessings for success.

Then as soon as you turn on the lights or light the candles, always say OM AH HUM three times. In general if you do not bless the offerings immediately by saying this three-syllable mantra, they can be unsurped by wandering spirits and then the offerings become obstacles, rather than merit, for your practice.

Massages and sports to tackle weariness


Didn't know how to tackle it. It wasn't easy to switch from a management role to being operational again.

But the commodities market is indeed interesting. For a start, there are many interesting and indepth write-ups available on the internet. Well my direct manager Mr SF thinks that I am making the wrong decision (but of course)... a cliche, but only time will tell if the decision is right.

So comes weekend... of course I was exhuasted from the steep learning curve week. My sister and I were both fed up with feeling exhausted and decided to head to Thomson for a massage. Most places were fully booked, although we eventually managed to squeeze into Tranquility Cove. There was a promotion package S$40 for an hour of foot, head, shoulder and neck massage. I was also very lucky to have met Uncle Goh who was tendering to the massage. He is slightly blind but an extremely experienced and kind man. I gave him a healthy tip as an appreciation of his professionalism. He is old, probably in his 60s? He was in fact panting a little bit since he had to exert strength for the massages... I went home later and took a swim in the evening with Irwin - we were too tired to go out.. (he slept an average of four hours daily this week!)

Sunday - Tennis with Dad & sister... (we had to force Daddy to exercise - he is losing motivation in his exercises he says).. and then facial in the late afternoon with Mum... oops perhaps a weekend of over-pampering.... but I needed it! arrghh I don't want to go to work tomorrow!!

Goodbye Credit, Hello Commodities

I started my controlling career in credit..it has been two years. Today, I rotated to the sexy and all-talked about product - commodities P&L. I left my team. Leaving was somewhat more difficult than I expected - the friendship and gossip gang built up - today I started new bonds with a fresh group of ladies.

Last Friday my team gave me a farewell I didnt expect - a huge lunch (there was no way I could speak with everyone); a bouquet of flowers; a Tiffany pen; and a "Sorry you are leaving card".

Phew it wasn't exactly an easy start today. Totally new product. I would say because oil is easier to relate to in human terms as compared to credit derivatives - the higher the expectation to know and understand. It starts from oil exploration -->Drilling --> Refining... It is a good opportunity to learn.

Hmm but of course I am giving up comforts. The comfort of knowing a product for two years. Being able to knock off at 7-8pm daily. I think with my current team it could go beyond that for at least the first few months.

But I believe I will really learn the business this time. The training materials and market reports are impressive to begin with. Then again, if I have family responsibilities now I will probably not have the guts to give up the comforts of the credit world. Since I do not - well, be prepared for the hard work and late evenings to come.

Robert Collier in his book said "The most important province of your conscious mind is to center your thoughts on the thing you want - Believe that you receive and then shut the door on every suggestion of fear or worry or failure. If you once gain the ability to do that, nothing else is impossible to you." - better remind myself that...

Around the World

That was the 2008 Dinner & Dance theme.

Although I could join my colleagues only at 10pm - I had no regrets running over from Hyatt to Marriot.

After my ROM dinner, I decided that I will leave my newly crowned hubby to go home to pack his suitcase for his Frankfurt trip. I didn't want to miss this year's D&D as I had a lot of fun @ last year's. It was a time to mingle with the colleagues you see daily, without having to think a single thread about workload stress or politics. Agree?

So I survived a pretty decent week without Irwin around. I took vacation on Friday; but ended up helping my dad at his office. Although it was stressful, it cannot beat the tension stress that my family and relatives are facing. My sis asked "Why do we seem to have more problems/ issues than other families?" I replied "Because we care." - Sis: "Thats a nice way to put it." Whatever it is, we are tired out - from the loan issue, to the hospitalization, to the death, to the funeral, settling S's new housing...

Saturday night - I couldnt quite get to sleep and I finished the Delog book. I can't say if I fully comprehend the book 100%, anyway here's a final paragraph from the last chapter - and writing it here just serves as a good reminder for myself.

Delog, Delog Dawa Drolma

The king of destiny made the following commands:

All of you in the world of the living, high or low:
All that is born dies, and all that comes together falls apart.
The final outcome of gathering is dispersal, and the final outcome of rising is falling.
Since nothing in cyclic existence is permanent or stable, do not cling to the seeming permanence of things or fixate on them as true.
Whatever appears to you is like the experiences in a dream; do not be attached to illusory apperances of happiness.
If you want happiness, abandon distraction and laziness.

If you do not wish to suffer, purity the effects of former harmful deeds, and firmly resolve not to commit them again.
The karmic results of positive and negative actions are infallible; do not deny them with empty words.
You will be reborn in a land of darkness that lasts a great aeon.
Those with great desire and avarice will suffer from hunger and thirst in the preta realms for one million eight hundred thousand years.
Those with evil motivation and an obsession with killing will experience the hot and cold hells for many aeons.

Those who are envious and competitive, or who delight in quarreling and strife, will suffer for a long time in the realms of demigods.
Those whose minds are swollen with arrogance and whose good karma is subject to exhaustion will be reborn among gods and will eventually fall from their state.

..Maybe not a good choice for bedtime reading after all..

So...It happened...

On April 4th, a date selected by Lama Shifu, Irwin & I signed the marriage certificate. Sweet, but another significant event was he had to fly off the very next day to Frankfurt for business. In a sense I had a lot of free time since last Friday. I went home over the weekends and showed my curious mum how to chant. Because I had to explain, I began to ponder more. Why is Buddism practice in South East Asia different from that of Tibet?

I worked late for the past two nights - it feels rotten to work late these days - and even more meaningless because I return back to an empty room without Irwin making ridiculous jokes to me daily. oooh now I realize his significance in my life.. Because of the rotten two nights I was really craving for tranquility tonight. Good start - I managed to attend my Body Balance class - got back home at 10pm, and Auntie Gui and I talked non-stop, including Buddism. She introduced a new book to me "Opening the door to Dharma" - timely...

News

Well today is April Fools' Day - we have chosen this date to collect the pre-populated marriage certificate from Registry of Marriage (ROM). We had to meet Mr Lee, Justice of Peace at 11am at his office. Not funny - we actually forgot that we had to go to ROM this morning to bring the certificates to Mr Lee for our pre-ROM counselling (so us!)..so we dashed out of the house and I told Irwin's mum I couldn't eat her specially prepared tea eggs as "we miscalculated the timings again!"

If there is nothing to excite us further, we arrived and was greeted by a lady who asked to see our filing notice...Irwin & I looked shocked "filing notice, filing notice?!" Luckily the lady said "never mind" and gave us a ticket to proceed to the counter. Another lady met us and asked us for our filing notice - sorry we didn't have it. She smiled politely, "Never mind". She asked for our NRICs, including our witnesses - and we went "Huh? NRIC for our witnesses?!" She said "Never mind"...We had to read an oath with our right hand up.. When she pointed the paragraph we had to read individually, we were just shocked (so long?!) so I asked "Can we read it together, its faster"..She said with a smile "No" - but in a "hey can't you tell this is not about efficiency" tone. So we took the declaration & oath without nonsense...

Meeting Mr Lee was even more interesting. He is a very charimastic lawyer and entrepreneur. He first started - trying to induce some fear into us "Are you sure, beyond reasonable doubt (typical of a lawyer) that you wana do it? This is for a lifetime"...Grin * yes... He then took us through what we should say on our Solemization Day - he said we could reply softly Yes I do; or shout out loud - even if all his employees can hear it - its fine. He asked if we wanted to write our own vows because some couples want to express strong words such as "I love you with alllllll my heart and soul" - he said it expressively; but followed by a right hand loud bang on the table - "but you must let me know earlier!" ..."otherwise lets follow this standard wedding vows".

"Then you can exchange the rings, and then clap clap clap. You will then kiss - you can choose to do a quick peck or a do a long kiss - some couples do a really long one - but its really up to you"... He stressed that marriage is a lifetime commitment and no one should walk out in an argument "Don't be the first one to stand up!".

Its just been a humour-infused day for us - I guess thats an important ingredient to keep a relationship going strong!