My Little Inspiration

So, they say life is different when you have a kid? I say life is very different. Maybe you would find yourself daydreaming about things you can do if you didn't have a kid. But in reality, once you have one, you know there is no turning back to not having such a special joy and purpose in your life.

You aren't as strange as you might think. Plenty of parents may complain about life with a kid, but most would continue to pop more. As for me, I am glad that my boy has turned two, and we celebrated this special occasion with a cosy family celebration at home.

TD Loves Balloons

Helium or non-helium, TD loves balloons. Somehow we always tend to have balloons at home, either through attending birthday parties or the in-laws would bring them from their own party, or the free ones from malls. For his birthday, I got him Elmo, which till today, three weeks later are still floating in my house.

TD's favourite people

I was contemplating between a big or a small party this year. I was too busy though with work, home, and the crazy Malaysia trip to have the time available at that point to plan. However, we invited TD's favourite people to the party. Seeing him really happy with his birthday party was all that matters.

At two, he talks non-stop. He likes to ask questions, "What is inside the sun? What is inside the stone?" He is a little manipulator too. When he wanted the coffee scoop from the kitchen and I said No, he said "Mummy carries Theodore"..so he ran into my arms "warmly", then he said "Theodore wants to see Ka Ka" (who is in the kitchen). So I said, you are a little manipulator aren't you? TD smiled widely and in a shy manner. I don't think he understands the word 'manipulator'; but still he knew he was exposed. Isn't he fun?

The trip...where everything went downhill

On March 2, 2012 TD took his first road trip. It was a 14 hours car road trip in total back and forth from Singapore to Kuantan, Malaysia and back in three days. He was fine with being in the car for about seven hours, although he refused his favourite pasta for lunch (probably out of excitment).

The wedding was what pushed his limits. The entertainment singer and her microphone was going at about 96 decibel. That is the equivalent of a hand drill (a normal conversation is at 60 decibel). At 95-96 decibel, sustained exposure can hearing to hearing loss. I am glad that TD chose to stay out of the restaurant 95% of the time.

After the wedding dinner, we still had to drive back in the dark for about 30 minutes with no street lamps, but occasional oncoming traffic with their incredibly bright flashlights were glaring, and probably intimidating to a 23 month old. This was not well-received. TD wailed really loudly and asked to sit on Mummy. This was extremely rare, as TD seldom cries and wails. We stopped the car, and I went to back to sit with him.

On Saturday, TD caught a cold. I knew he was going to catch a cold, but I also knew that if I put on a jacket FIL would comment that its too warm, so I didn't and indeed he caught a cold. In the night, he had a fever. I didn't bring a thermometer, not any medication for him as TD seldom fall sick in Singapore, and I didn't think he would within a three days span. My bad. Indeed he did, and the nearest clinic was 14 km away. We were so desperate. I used cool towel as he slept, and chanted Green Tara, hoping the fever would go away. In a way, we didn't really trust seeing the doctors too. It was a miracle, his fever went away.

On Sunday, we drove back. Lunch was at 3pm, and the lack of breaks during the seven hour car ride led TD to wail again.

He didn't eat much during the trip, and all he had appetite for was apple and bread.

When we returned to Singapore, TD's flu was mild so he didn't require medication. It took about a week to recover. My helper caught a cough too due to lack of water. My MIL and FIL were sick. I had to work extra hard as I was away from work for a few days, and now that TD and helper were down. In the end, I caught flu myself. Luckily, I recovered within a day.

Alas, my FIL came to visit with a cough. On that very night, my helper who was recovering well, started to cough, TD started to cough with fever (!) and I had fever and cough (!!)...

With no choice, I had to feed TD medication. He was recovering slowly but well. All in all, TD and my helper recovered fully in two weeks.

As for me, this is my second week of cough, and I am still coughing. I have seen two different doctors. With no luck tonight, I will see another tomorrow. I usually recover within a week for cough, but this time it is different. I would wake up hourly at night from the coughing...

Sorry, this isn't the usual positive and optimistic post. Irwin and I learned lessons the hard way. We will only travel with others if we have control of the timing in future. We had no idea it was going to be a 7 hour car ride each way. We had no idea that we couldn't plan his meal times appropriately. Having coughed for two weeks, and seeing TD lose weight and coughed in the night, and as we battled with his fever which went up to 39, all I can say is Health is the most important. Treasure it and take steps to build a healthy body. We will not compromise health to appease anybody else in future. We need to make responsible decisions from now on.

Theodore is 18 months

My boy is 18 months old. I wish I can write more, but this is the third day of my move to my new home, so I have to admit I am really zonked out. Yet I don't want to lose track of the wonderful things my boy is going through...

Thats him, taking his own initiative to hug a big soft toy he saw along the way at Plaza Singapura.

TD is starting to string sentences together. He said "water, bubbles, water come out". He was trying to describe how the humidifier in his room works.

TD's first complete english sentence is "What is Daddy doing?" since I always say that to him.

Oh yes, if I say TD is 18 months, he would repeat it after me like a parrot..."18 months, 18 months".

Irwin is setting up the CCTV in the new house now. Tomorrow is the first day I return to work after the move. I hope everything will be A-ok at home, and have reminded Sumini to be diligent and to supervise TD, and not let him playy alone. For a working mum, she can only pray and hope that everything at home is ok...

A very Busy Birthday
Yes I am 32

This was the most busy birthday I had. Usually, I would try to take leave and not work on my birthday. This year, my birthday falls on a Saturday, and because of the new house...phew was I busy.

The only time where it felt like my birthday was the many messages I received on Facebook and Whatsapp. Finally, in the evening, Irwin, Theodore and myself managed to steal a little bit of time to relax at one of our favourite Italian restaurant - Bella Pasta. This was also the only time I could tell Irwin, tonight it is your turn to take care of the little toddler while I tuck in to my dinner at my own pace..thank you :)

So I am 32. I don't mind writing it down as time seems to flies so fast I seem to be forgetting my age.

Counting my Blessings

Connecting with nature always bring back some peace into urban life. The weekend of Pierce Reservoir and Each Coast beach has lifted my spirits and the sense of calmness. That morning, we were running late as I had to heat up TD's lunch which was still in its frozen state. We also received a parking fine as we could not find a parking lot. We were expecting to 'swallow down' McDonalds on the beach mat so that we could cater to TD's tight schedule of meals and naptime. When we arrived, my Dad said 'No, go behind McDonalds, I will buy you breakfast'.

Yippie, thats how the calmness all began.

Having a sea view, and my mummy feeding TD meant that I could take a little break from the morning rush of packing his clothes and toys, and getting his meals and milk powder ready.

Why I feel very blessed... I have a very supportive and wise family. I have a very kind husband. TD is growing and developing well. He is happy and healthy - what more do I ask for?

At a point where I count my happiness, I would also like to share a page I read today (I have more time to read ever since I start to schedule TD's zzz time between 8:30pm - 9:30pm. It has been a success! but less time between TD and me after work ;(

"...the other class of counterproductive emotions -which include feelings such as lust, hatred, enmity (feeling of hostility or ill will), jealousy, and belligerence (hostile/ warlike attitude) - should not be expressed; they become more and more frequent. Expressing them tends to make them stronger and more prevalent. It is better to reflect on the disadvantages of engaging in such emotions and try to dsisplace them with feelings of satisfaction and love. We should forcefully overcome negative emotions when they appear, but it would be even better to find ways to prevent them in the first place."

The Beach

17 months 1 week. TD explored the beach at East Coast. Gong Gong suggested bringing TD to the beach. We were all so excited about it. Por Por went to check out four malls to buy a beach toy the evening before, but no avail - yeah how come Orchard malls no longer carry beach tools? haha. Luckily Daddy went to Ikea in the evening to buy some scoops and cups as a subsititute. Yes thats how much we care haha.

Apparently Gong Gong woke up at 4am and was very excited about how TD would react to the sand and sea too.

Anyhow, TD LOVES the Beach!! He was a bit apprehensive about the sand at first but soon got over it very quickly. He scooped sand into the red bucket and then poured it out and said 'empty' - his favourite word these days (He would intentionally take anything out in order to get it empty and then make his point that it is empty!).

When he first saw the waves, he held on tight to Daddy's hand, but he soon let go, took a step, and then two and then three and was kicking in the water as Daddy held on under TD's arms. He had a good half an hour in the sea, despite sea water going into his mouth and eyes, he kept wanting to go back into the sea water. That was a really fun first beach adventure for the whole family!

Many things happened in the month of August, but I don't think I want to write about it, as I want to let it go and move on with my life. I learnt a lot from the incident, about myself, and about her. Last night, as TD went to bed at 7:30pm, that gave me some nice time to read How to Practise by Dalai Lama... "being constantly aware of what you are doing with your body and your speech" is important. In summary,

self-awareness to refrain from physical and verbal actions that cause harm to others- this prepares a person to move beyond the repeated round of birth, aging, sickness and death (samsara)

restrain the mind from falling into selfishness

focus on wisdom and compassion

abandon the ten nonvirtues:

- Physical: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct

- Verbal: lying, divisive talk, harsh speech, senseless chatter

- Mental: coventousness, harmful intent, wrong views

small acts of compassion grant meaning and purpose to our lives

In difficult personal circumstances, the best recourse is to be as honest and sincere as possible. By responding harshly or selfishly, you simply make things worse. This is especially apparent in painful family situations. When you experience a difficult period, do your best to avoid behaviour that will add burden later on.

Under no circumstances should you lose hope. Hopelessness is a real cause of failure.

A Trip to the Supermarket


Sunday, we brought him to the supermarket with us. No choice as Irwin is working all weekends, and that was the only opportunity to spend time together as a family. TD used to hate sitting in the trolley when younger, but clearly at 16 months, the supermarket and the trolley excited him. He was talking and laughing loudly, and the staff smiled and laughed at him. I don't know, at times he is quiet and timid; at times confident and loud. I guess all toddlers have their moods - just like adults, depending on whether we sleep or eat adequately as well.

Our Family



Our family had an one night holiday at Mandarin Orchard (courtesy of Dad's complimentary voucher). TD was absolutely delighted. Jumping on the bed, exploring his reflection in the mirrors, playing with the cupboard knobs, looking down at the cars, swimming at the pool (despite the shivering he wanted to go back to the pool again and again). It was not that easy having a holiday with a toddler. In fact, it becomes TD's holiday. We were the facilitators of his happiness index. Irwin and I had a lot of fun watching him enjoy his hoiday, so we decided that even though it is hard work, our future holidays would still be with TD included.

Back to reality, there was another blowout in the house. So, this time FIL decides that the carpets should come back (again). TD's skin is much better now, but he is still sensitive to heat, extreme usage of perfume, and if it is a rather dirty place (no offence, but he does not seem to take food court and coffee shops well even if it is a cool day...maybe its the oil/ dirt in the air?). Thus I am highly suspicious that TD's skin will react to the dander infected carpets. I am afraid that he would develop asthma if forced to be exposed to the allergen over time since he was previously proven to be allergic to those carpets. Thus I got worried, stressed and agitated.

I am unable to understand FIL's love for carpets. I am unable to understand why his grandson's health should not take priority. I am sure he might have his reasons, but at this point, I can't see it. So I kinda blew up. I guess I should have handled it better, but who would understand a working mum's stress? I need to know that the home environment is appropriate for TD since I cannot be by his side. Frankly taking care of his skin is quite tiring and it is stressful watching him scratch. In-laws would never understand. In fact, I have seen how they "look after" him, they just allow him to scratch (or maybe they didn't notice?).

Dalai Lama says "Cultivating an attitude of compassion and developing wisdom are slow processes. As you gradually internalize techniques for developing morality, concentration of mind, and wisdom, untamed states of mind become less and less frequent. You will need to practice this technique day by day, year by year. As you transfrom your mind, you will transform your surroundings. Others will see the benefits of your practice of tolerance and love, and will work at bringing these practices into their own lives."

Update on the whirlpool

Yes it has been a whirlpool for both Irwin and myself. Irwin was hit with food poisoning over the weekend. I was not sure then if I should bring him to the clinic but upon my Dad's advice we brought him to Gleneagles clinic, where he was put on a drip for an hour or two. Finally his paleness faded and some touch of vibrance resumed. My Dad drove from home to pick us up and stayed with us through at Gleneagles without any hesitation. What can I say? A big thank you.

After he fetched Irwin home, he dropped me at NTUC finest at Somerset as I still had to do marketing for TD and cook for him. That was when my first diarrhea hit. I was all nausea by the time I called for a cab home. When I reached home, I cooked and pureed for TD. Shortly after, I lost appetite and was very nausea too. This continued till the next Monday afternoon. I didn't want to move much as I felt very nausea. Thank goodness somehow my Dad called again and he said he wanted to bring me to the doctor.

I had stomach flu and the doctor advised that both of us stay away from TD, and wear a mask at home.

Apart from the physical whirlpool, I/ we suffered a mental meltdown on Friday evening. MIL was frustrated that we did not cover the food after dinner. Even after I explained that I was very tired from work and forgot, she said "You are always like that, this is very basic." On Saturday, she quoted me out of context and said that I responded to her "I know I know" when she suggested that TD should wear anklet bells at home.

Basically I told her I would ask Irwin and she said "It is not to look good, its functional you know." I replied "I know I know, I will ask Irwin". She basically portrayed me to be very rude to Irwin.

I am glad that Irwin asked me and Sumini what happened, and he found the story to be different from what MIL said..(including the maid story, but I am too tired to write now). Irwin asked MIL why is her story so different from mine and Sumini's. MIL explained it was probably different perspectives. Irwin reminded MIL that in Buddhism there is a lot of emphasis on Body, Speech and Mind, and we cannot be untruthful about facts even if there are different perspectives of who is right or wrong. FIL nodded in agreement. (Apparently MIL was very nice and positive towards Irwin that day)

The Dalai Lama book, How to practise the way to a meaningful life, 2002 says that Harmony cannot thrive in a climate of mistrust, cheating, bullying and mean-spirited competition. Success through intimidation and violence is temporary at best; its trifling gains only create new problems.

Ok, why do I want to write this down? Not that I want to bear grudges, but this indeed has been a rather key event that has happened. Indeed there has been no peace in the family for a while because of mistrust. They think we are overloading the maid, we think they should help out a bit?... how about when we were sick? How about helping when we are both sick? Anyway there are always different perspectives.

My once again wise Dad told me. TD would be very close to me for perhaps another 20 years. Why not concenrate on the joy of bringing him up? Indeed, it will be more worthwhile. With that, I look forward to embracing more joyful days ahead.

Theodore Turned One on 21 March 2011

After going through 12 months of baby-hood, Theodore is now a toddler. Not only has he graduated from the babyhood status, so has his mummy, as she now needs to gain more new knowledge on dealing with a toodler - be it the diet, or the behavioural.

Looking back, Theodore has been a very reasonable baby. He never really did throw tantrums. If we tell him not to touch certain things, most of the time he gets it. His biggest issue for me is his skin problem. With the bacteria-infected carpets and strong perfume out of the house, it has been under control, i.e. no flare ups. For very hot days however, and if the helper didn't turn on the fan or ventilate the room, he can still get red creases on his arms and legs.

All in all, it is under control. As a toddler now, we bring him swimming, and I try to bring him to an outdoor venue on Sunday evening. The outdoor exposure has a little bit of impact on his skin.

Exploration and fun are more important than having tofu skin, so we are getting used to his red creases.

We just came back from Botanic. Teddy was pointing to the dogs. So much so that this Caucasian man actually pulled his dog over to TD and TD patted it. As we parked at home, we saw a beautiful double rainbow, and we took a family photo. Moments like these create a peaceful mind and heart, and they take the tiredness away (temporarily).

In a Bean Bag

We went to Dhiren's house to celebrate his birthday, and his going-away trip to Germany. So Dhiren told us to bring Theodore - and TD had a splashing good time interacting with two other toddlers.

I have been thinking about moving out from my in-laws place for a while. Irwin sometimes feel so, and at times didn't feel so. At times, Irwin told me to start looking for a place. At times, he stated he preferred to stay with his parents.

Anyhow, it was somehow decided. We conveyed our thoughts on Saturday morning. They seem agreeable...

From celebration..to a hectic work week.. to an angry weekend..to realisation...

We celebrated Elton's one year old birthday at Four Seasons. Theodore had great fun and completely forgot about milk until about an hour later. He played and played, and then finally called for milk, and then knocked out.

I went back to the office to help my father this week. So much has changed in the firm. I started a schedule of feeding Teddy at 6am, pumping milk at 6:30am, again during lunch time and rushing off at 4pm to come home (pump again), or feed him if I come back in time. Then I will prepare his solids and feed him. It does sound like a crazy schedule, but wouldnt be possible without the support of my family. I have to sleep at 10pm daily in order to keep up with this..but hah so far I have not found the discipline, especially when Irwin comes home late from work.

Anger. Why. So, the carpets came back after a second wash. The plan was no carpets are allowed to be opened till TD recovers 100% fully. In-laws decided that they would like to open one as they are hosting guests. We had to convince them again not to..why take the risk when we have already put in so much effort to get rid of the allergens. The carpets were not rolled out, but TD's eczema came back just because the carpets were in the house. TD's skin is fine when exposed to carpets in my mum's house, at Four Seasons, and another friend's house..so we concluded that the home carpets can never be rid of Bobby's dander.

In laws were not entirely convinced its the carpets, and asked me to try Oil of Ulan on the baby.. I said 'No'. Then they decided that sometimes allergens will simply disappear and asked us to wait out a few days. That night, I cracked down.. I sobbed. There is no way I can sit back and watch my kid's skin deteriorate. Anyhow, we convinced them to shift those carpets out to a storage place. They agreed, and I couldn't be more relieved.

So, TD's skin had a flare up on Wednesday. Today, MIL used a lot of perfume. The perfume filled the entire house. I wonder why she decided to use so much today? She went to TD's door and said 'Sorry I cannot come in since I just used a lot of perfume'. Shortly after she closed the door, TD was scratching and crying. We quickly bath him but he was still scratching. As I watched my baby's skin getter redder and redder, and a bigger surface area than before - and more steroid all over the body...it really made me fumed. From anger, again I sobbed.

I called my Dad, brother and sms my Mum who is overseas..and told them I would like to move home till TD recovers. Obviously this is not the right environment for TD since TD never had a single flare up for the month we were there. There were a few call exchanges between Dad, Irwin and myself. The gist was, we should try to solve it as a family instead of shifting back.

Desi Lama, currently my FB friend wrote, "please don't attach too much in this world as pit of fire. we can't librate without renunciate this world. great indian and tibtan master told us very importand is renunciation." I wonder if he just read my FB status. Renunciation. I felt calmer.

I then went into the baby's room. Irwin, Sumini and I played with him for a good 20mins and laughed a lot just by looking at his kicking and jumping actions..that took all the pain & sadness away...

Teddy at Wai Po's House

Oo, more pictures of Teddy at Wai Po's House. This time we see Teddy enjoying an Indonesia nursery rhyme as he was being rocked. Daily, he enjoyed staring out of the window and looking at the poolside trees.

In the last picture, TD was looking busy as Wai Po and I tried to keep him very occupied while we tuck in dinner quickly..hahahaha

TD just had an eczema flare up. Thanks to the carpets that were reintroduced into the house after professional cleaning. I thought the carpets still had Bobby's smell when they came back. After the flare up, the carpets were sent back for further cleaning. This time they are doing it FOC. Obviously, they didnt do a fantastic job...since it is FOC, no one can complain!

What A Trip...

Whoa guess what happened for the past one month? Hah, Theodore and I stayed with my parents for a month in a fight against eczema.

So it turns out that Theodore is sensitive to Bobby. We attempted to shift back home after 10 days when TD's skin looked recovered, and Bobby's too.

Within less than 24 hours, TD's eczema flared up. Irwin and I quickly packed our luggages and moved back to my parent's.

Hah, I did the night duty by myself. Nursing him in the night, cleaning his face with a cotton ball, and attempts to slap on moisturisers when he is asleep; diaper changes. There are times where I hold it in myself as I did not want to leave him alone on the bed.

I have to thank my family for hosting me! My brother had to give up his bed and room for us. My mum planned my meals and helped me took care and entertained TD in the evenings. This is the magic of family. Hah at this point, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to stay in the house I grew up in for a month!

TD came back on Sunday with perfect skin. Hmm, however it seems that after a day or two he developed saliva rash. In-laws allowed TD to crawl and rub his face on the sofa. When I went back, there were drools of saliva on the leather sofa....eeeks....

So now he has saliva rash, but I am glad that the eczema is gone. This is at the expense of relocating Bobby who is 12.5 years old. So sad, but it has to be done....

TD has also started solids for about a month now - here's the list in order

Puree Organic Sweet Potato

Mashed Banana with ebm

Organic Carrot puree - steam, blended and mixed with ebm

Happy Bellies Organic Oatmeal cereal

Organic short grain brown rice with sweet potato

Avocado

Pork Porridge

I have to say, for a lady who does not cook, I have enjoyed planning and preparing his solids!

Sitting for solids

Time flies, from just lying on his back, to flipping, to trying to crawl, he is now seated on his very own high chair, and about to have his first taste of solids. For a six month old, that is a big deal since he has been swallowing liquid only so far... Theodore loves to eat. However much I fed him, he will want more. The pd said only 1/2 teaspoon for a start... it has been a conflict in my mind since TD obviously can stomach more. So slowly day by day, as long as there is no sign of allergy, I give him a teaspoon more.

I have been reading the internet on how much to feed. Some say not more than a teaspoon as the main nutrition is still milk. I found a website that says 4-5 tablespoons, or feed as much as you want. I guess thats the point with baby led weaning? Anyhow, still trying to find the right balance. Will speak with pd end of the month to understand better.

At the dinning table, I am questioned by the in-laws. 1 teaspoon only? 1 teaspoon only? Feed slower, so that he can enjoy each scoop; Put in more water so he doesnt have to tilt his back so much. As I introduce water to TD, I said "Water, water" and I hear him trying to pronounce it. MIL nervously and quickly said "Drink water, drink water"... "Theodore drink water"..(hello the grammer is wrong)... My every move is being corrected. I have put in a lot of effort since TD was born..yet I feel MIL trying to show me that everything I do is wrong. She even questions if there's a hole in the teat of the cup I recently bought...Hello, didnt you see the water streaming out of his mouth yesterday?

Been thinking and pondering... is it time for Irwin and I to move out? It has been on my mind lately. Yet Irwin feels that the in-laws need us at this point. If we cannot get along, are we supposed to pretend that everything is fine, and lead on a daily life like this? Sometimes I dont take it personal. It seems like MIL just likes to talk to her own kids like that too. It seems like she has a ego and likes to put, even her own kids down sometimes. I wasn't brought up like this and I am not used to this style.

Don't get me wrong. I am not being ungrateful here. I know that every comfort here is provided for, and I lead a rather stress free life in terms of home management. But it just seems to be getting ugly. I thought of staying put because I think this is the best outcome for Theodore, as I dont want to leave TD alone with a helper at home only. But there is too much unhappiness... Will I be in luck to be guided to the right path? He is my kid, and I want to bring him up the way I want to.

MIL likes to call Teddy the RTC boy, as we have been going to RTC every weekend with Teddy. We agreed right from the beginning that we want Teddy to grow up to be humble. Irwin and I now have a bet, if MIL calls TD RTC boy again, I win a $100!..jokes aside, what do I need to do just that it is win-win for all? particulary Teddy boy...... ;(

The blessed boy who is making his parents ooh so busy...



I have to admit it is extremely busy being a parent.

The blessed boy is growing, and for a new mum there is really a lot of reading and learning to do.

I put aside one day per week for baby reading.

Luckily a lot of my girlfriends are going through the same phase. Feels better to know that I am not alone and that I am not the only crazy person out there.

During the weekend, we brought Theodore for his third swim, followed by brunch. During the past two weekends we go for Sunday brunch, very much because it usually stretches as a three hour meal. In between the three hours I typically have to feed him and then let him sleep on the pram.

Last Sunday we went to Raffles Town Club. They did not have a nursing room, but were kind enough to extend one of the private dining rooms. They turned on the light and air-conditioning so that I could nurse him in private.

Ooh I am so hungry now. Had porridge for lunch. Did you know you only require 200 extra calories when pregnant (that equates to half a burger); and 500 extra calories if breastfeeding? No wonder I still can't fit into all of my old wardrobe. So what if I can? I still need to wear a nursing top when I go out with Teddy... fashion down the drain...for now...

Theodore's Second Swim

Jul 24, 2010. We brought Theodore for his second swim at baby spa. This time together with Baby Joshua.

What wouldn't change, would be how Theodore would knock out after some milk. On his second attempt, he swam for 30 minutes.




Irwin and I always joke about how we are Really parents now. We have a weekly routine of bringing Theodore to his swimming sessions; and getting him to join us for brunch if the environment is suitable, i.e. not overly crowded and air conditioned... yes this boy breaks out in heat rash easily.

So tired now. Had to follow up with some office's matters, and was reading online furiously about baby's poop patterns. Would I be able to handle both work and family appropriately? I only made a few calls today and already I am having a headache. Am I really going to devote myself to family only? The scary thing is during dinner two days ago my father-in-law said 'Yes you should be taking unpaid leave for the next three months to take care of Jun Rong. Don't forget he is priority.' He further said that 'Don't forget you will probably have a second child and then you need to re-prioritise again.' Gulp, I still can't forget the days when I had to hug the toilet bowl about four times a day; how I had to walk slowly from kitchen to bedroom in order to prevent puking; how toothpaste, perfume and Bobby's food make me either vomit or felt like vomiting... *puke puke* now I feel nausea.

Bye Bye Dahlia

This week has been more busy. Why so? We sacked one helper. I have always found her to be pretenious. She is well behaved and well mannered when my in-laws are around, but a total punk when they are not.

As I have not been having enough sleep and rest, I got fed up one morning when she replied 'Yeah' in a rather rude manner. I told Irwin who came home to question and scold her. She shouted back. Thats it, we decided that since she did not treasure this employment opportunity, she has to go.

We kept her in the kitchen area, kept all the knives away, and took out our tennis racket and put them in some corners (just in case ;). By 4pm, my in-laws came home and we made her pack and sent her back to the agent.

She appeared non-chalent and said she wanted to go home already. Till today I wonder if she meant what she said. To us, it was simply getting another helper. To her, she lost her rice-bowl, her employment and would be sent back to Indonesia. She would be facing her family who has been pressing her to send money home (according to her). At the same time that she told us her family is pressing her for money and she wanted advances from us, we discovered that she has bought a gold necklace, a handbag, and a mobile. Errh, she doesn't even take off-days and only steps out of the house to walk Bobby daily.

Now that she has been sent home, we discovered more. She has 'borrowed' $28 from our housekeeping money, and borrowed a total of $76 from our neighbours' helpers.

Funny enough, with one hand less to help out, we all felt relieved, including my in-laws. It was stressful managing her although we always try to defend her saying that its her background hence her mentality...

We would get a part-time helper instead. To have two live-in helpers in our house felt a little intolerable. Plus only Theodore and I are always home, I always felt out-numbered...haha... It was tough this week, but it just gives me more opportunity to be closer to Teddy..never mind that sleep would never be adequate...

There's No Greater Worry Than When Your Baby Falls Sick


Theodore came down with a fever of 39.3 on June 18 2010. His hands were slightly purplish and cold when we discovered so. I called Irwin immediately. Luckily he was at Great World City at that moment which was relatively nearer to our home as compared to his workplace. He didn't drive then, but took a cab home and picked us up to go to the pediatrician.

As this was the first time Theodore had fallen ill, as parents we were rather helpless but listened attentively to the pd's advice. 1ml of Panadol; hourly temperature taking and recording; if temperature goes beyond 38, one round of cold sponge bath; if temperature goes beyond 39, two rounds of cold sponge bath. Theodore's temperature came down after 1ml of panadol. After six hourly though, the fever came back.

On June 19 8am, Theodore's temperature was back at 38. Without hesitation, Irwin made the call to check him into the hospital.

The hospital's policy was that if the baby was 3 months old, he could be adminstered medication, and need not be hospitalised. As Theodore was 2 months and 28 days old, he had to be hospitalised, and discharged only if he was fever free for 24 hours.

Hence, we began the three days hospital stay, with Irwin and I staying 24 hours with Theodore (apart for three hours where we would go home to shower and take a one hour nap). The blessings in disguise was that this incident has brought Theodore, Daddy and Mummy closer together as a family.

When Papa is not around...



Well the above video has nothing to do with Irwin, except for the fact that he took this video. Reason for the title is that..yes he is not around! He is currently at reservist - ok I just received his good night call. I feel pleased that after knowing him for seven years, I can still miss him after him being away for a day. Having a baby has brought us even closer - from attending the antenatal classes together on Sundays, making purchases at the Takashimaya Baby Fair, being with me and encouraging me at the labour ward, to us struggling together as new parents to take care of Theodore who cried almost the entire night on the first night we brought him home.. I am sure there are more memorable moments to share...