Take a Break

Tucked away at home now on a Friday, and started the day with personal administrative work. As I am embarking on a new London project next week, I needed a break to feel excited again.

On the right are pictures of Cat Country's kitchen - a place I visit at least once a week. Realized that I have dished out bits and pieces of the kitchen, but never a picture of how it entirely looks like. For now it shall remain still a mystery.

Above - Kitchen's Chandelier with Swarovski Crystal.

These days, an underlying feeling of discontentment is causing me to feel the extreme. Thinking about whether I can be doing more with my life, exploring more with my life. Thinking about the possibilities can be appealing and exciting. Or perhaps, only exciting on the surface; or maybe even harmful.

Are You Getting

Married? That is the most frequent question I hear on a weekly basis.

Started: 2002

Status: Approaching 5 years in September

Disconnected Pattern: Nearly broke up once

Major challenge: Survived one year via long-distance (of course, in the beginning it was hell)

Book that can help an Engineer/ Finance Combination: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

A rather close friend of mine is getting hitched this August. This was decided after 5 months of dating. Most of us around him are rather worried, although he supported that he has done a thorough analysis (while being madly in love).

Personally my thoughts are, if you decide that you are going to spend the rest of your lives together anyway, why not hold off the decision to formalize it with pen and paper, and spend good time getting to know each other well. I dont deny peer pressure may kick in from time to time, as everyone younger around me are getting the certificates. But everyone has to choose their own life; and not follow the herd with the sheep mentality.

Divorce rate in Singapore stands at approximately 17.2%, with Sweden (54.9%), United States (54.8%) and Belarus (52.9%) topping the chart [Source: wikipedia]. If things doesn't turn out well, you can break up a relationship, but if a marriage fails, legally you need to be separated for three years before you can file for a divorce. With children involved, this further complicates the emotional distress. People around you would then be asking "Why are you getting a divorce?" -- a far more frustrating question than "When are you getting married?".

EXCITING REMAINING JUNE

Or, how to meet my needs and fear of not feeling stagnant and bored

Especially after having had a stimulating & enriching year in Japan

2 weeks left to June. 4.5 months since relocating back (only 4.5? why does it feel so long already?)

I cannot live the same as I used to before I ventured out of this country. I am not contented with doing nothing, no progression.

Here's a lineup of activities to keep myself busy & stimulated for the rest of June.

Every Wednesday, to attend yoga classes @ Planet Fitness. Read that European countries have resorted to yoga in order to increase productivity. Patents on Yoga positions? haha check this out.

June 23: Join Company's Volunteer Trip to Pasir (okay but I have to confess I screwed up, I didnt register although I always talked about joining, and T-shirts have already been issued to volunteers). Need to sort this out, and squeeze myself in!

June 23: Visit new Japanese Karaoke started up by friend who used to live in Tokyo. Chat, drink and catch up with old friends from Tokyo - first time since I got back!

June 28: Chartered Accountants dinner, a fine occasion to meet up fellow CA mates and attend an investment session "Managing our wealth in the current market" conducted by an Investment Consultant, Executive Director, from UBS.

June 30th: Friend flying from Tokyo, finally, thats why I say the world is really small. This friend wrote me an email recently and told me Tokyo is really small as we realize that a lot of our friends are inter-connected. Imagine, if Tokyo is small, what about Singapore? The world is indeed connected in many ways, in a much larger sense than we ever realize.

As a human being, I want to be happy and dont want to feel pain or distress. Other humans, like myself, want to be happy too and dont want to feel distress. Based on this logic, I made a rather major decision. Consulted no one this time.

Title..(Reflecting with a Life?)

I often wonder why I continue with blog-writing. Sometimes you feel the burden of people watching and reading your lines, and probably even judging you. Its amazing how I initially thought it is quite a loser to document your personal encounters and have thousands of eyes view it and say "What the hell". But for now at least, blog writing seems to be sticking to me like a super-glue. All thanks to Darren, my cousin who was the first to encourage me to kick-off one, when I was all alone in Tokyo.

I know my mum views it @ work, and sometimes show my travel photos about Japan to her colleagues. When I was back and showed my father my blog, he said "Can you save it on a CD so I can read it, and since you can write so well, can you help me update the 4th Edition of my Revenue Accounting book." I wonder what he will write about, if he were hooked to blog writing. He is a man who sticks very strongly to his own viewpoint - but very often too rigid and too narrow in his thinking.

Often I look back at my blog entries, and collection of photos. It is nice to reminiscence my isolated memories and experiences, how I have evolved in terms of thought processes or photo-taking. It may seem cold, but it has also become a way of keeping in touch with friends I dont have the chance to frequently meet. Dont ask me to elaborate or illustrate further why we should write. There are so much more I would say.

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Stella, welcome to online writing! I am secretly persuading my closer friends and sister to start one.

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I really enjoy this "special one-on-one" relationship with my notebook, and the somewhat unknown online world..unknown because you never know who is reading it, and best of all - its good alone time for me.

Flexible Thinking

Scary Crow

Real Fisherman in Amed, who also shows an interest in the tourism industry. Our captain for the sunrise journey

To my ex-colleagues, a toast to having survived some good years in the Big 4. Now I realize the value of the challenging times we had to take on @ a tender age. It has tide me through the past weeks of "business restructuring". A flexible mind helps address problems from a variety of perspectives. It can be an important survival tool. True enough, species that are flexible & adaptable to environmental changes, survived and thrived. Check out this article Flexible genes allow ants to change destiny. I was surprised by the lack of fear and composure as I went through changing conditions.

SFW and its Evolution

What is the latest fad? Well both Malaysia and Singapore have built a Ferris Wheel! Tuscora Park's Ferris Wheel (New Philadelphia) is re-opening this summer after two children fell out of its gondolas in June 2006.

Last year, I was on board the Ferris Wheel in Odaiba, Tokyo; in 2002, on London eye (visited by 3.5 million people a year). Singapore's Ferris Wheel ("Singapore Flyer") opens on Feb 14th 2008. Apparently, 100,000 tickets have already been sold for couples looking for different altitudes on that special day.



Enough of the Ferris Wheel that spins money, this week I read an interesting article, which very much reflected my thoughts. To open-minded expatriates, tourists and friends from overseas this is similar to how I will describe my country. Extracts of the article reproduced here; I doubt this will ever make it to our local press:

Casinos or culture? Singapore seeks tourists

"Disneylands all over the world seem to pull in the crowds. And the casinos, given the propensity of the Chinese to gamble, will probably be a success." Perhaps Singapore's biggest handicap is its lack of famous sights: it has no Angkor Wat or Taj Mahal. For many years, it prided itself on its innumerable shopping malls, and promoted its annual "Singapore Sale".

Abroad, it is often better known for its authoritarian ways -- it canes vandals, executes drug offenders, crushes political opposition, and bans the sale of chewing gum. Culturally, its development has been crippled by restrictions on freedom of expression and censorship of films and plays.

But with an eye on the newly affluent Chinese, Indians and other Asians who increasingly travel overseas, Singapore has begun work on several new attractions, including two big casinos, a Universal Studios theme park, and a ferris wheel, even though none of these is particularly Singaporean.

Bollywood blockbusters
In a bid to generate more "buzz" abroad, it has opened clubs such as Ministry of Sound and is even pitching itself as a film location, eager to emulate New Zealand's success with hits such as Lord of the Rings. By "starring" in Bollywood blockbusters such as Krrish, Singapore hopes to entice more Indian tourists.

Earlier this month, Singapore snagged the rights to host Formula One racing, which it hopes will raise its profile abroad. Citigroup expects the race to generate S$150-200 million a year. "They want to send a message that Singapore has changed," said Christopher Wood, CLSA's regional strategist.

"They have to have more than shopping centres. Formula One is a brilliant idea. But nobody in Asia does culture well. Japan is the only place in Asia that has it. There's nothing cultural happening here now, zero." The government wants to double the number of visitors to 17 million a year by 2015, while nearly trebling tourism receipts to S$30 billion. Its new attractions could well succeed in pulling the crowds, economists say, particularly given Macau's experience.

Inspired by Macau, Singapore scrapped its decades-long ban on casinos and is now building two gambling resorts, due to open in the next three or four years, at a cost of nearly $7 billion. One of those casinos will include a Universal Studios theme park. That too could attract millions of visitors from the region, given that the one in Japan had 8.7 million visitors in the year ending March 31, up 4.6 percent from a year ago.

Sleepy backwater

Thousands of Singaporeans signed a petition objecting to the casinos, citing fears about the social impact and risk of crime. "It's wrong to think that by putting up a casino that will attract tourists. It will attract a niche market - gamblers," said Hans Hoefer, who founded the Insight Guides. "I haven't seen a tourist in Las Vegas, I've only seen gamblers."

Bugis Street, once the haunt of transsexuals, is now lined by unremarkable, could-be-anywhere shopping malls, while many of the old shop houses in Chinatown were demolished to make room for modern office blocks and apartment blocks. While westerners and writers such as Theroux want history and culture, Chinese and Indians see Singapore as a beacon of modernity and efficient infrastructure, in stark contrast to many of Asia's chaotic cities, says tour guide Geraldene Lowe.

"All they want to see is a modern city," said Lowe, whose walking tours take in Singapore's historic quarters and craftsmen such as those who make wood carvings for the temples, or paper statues for traditional Chinese funerals. "The government builds these ferris wheels and (gambling) resorts that you can get anywhere. Why not promote the culture we do have?" said Lowe.

The Sunday Times, Sri Lanka
By Sara Webb

In the Wrong Pool

I was waiting for my lunch when this lovely pair took flight out of their own pond, and decided to take a dip in the more luxurious swimming pool. The owner was chasing them back, until they noticed I was taking pictures of the mischievous pair (who knew what they wanted!).

I remember it was very warm that day in Amed. It must have been global warming & the higher temperature causing the pair to flock for the larger cooler human pool. It is a challenge right now trying to stay fresh if I stay outdoor for more than one minute. I can feel the change in temperature as compared to a year ago before I left for Tokyo.

On Sunday, I visited Lama Shifu with my bf's family. We asked some questions, and received some blessings. During the Q&A, he encouraged us to break out of our own limited perspective. He mentioned that most couples these days have high expectations of each other which can become a problem. It is natural that a man wishes for his lady partner to be pretty, gentle, and able to take good care of him. A woman on the other hand hopes that the man be rich and successful.

look up

Religious symbol relating to the mountains in Amed, Bali.

This week was crazy with bosses coming from Tokyo and London. In addition to the extra P&L book I had to take care of, I had to attend three one-on-one meetings, and lunches & dinner. Still, meeting the heads was rewarding. It was an opportunity to stretch my perspective and deliberately try on new viewpoints. It was a good chance to gain simultaneous awareness of the big picture, as well as the individual circumstances that are about to change...

View for Four Days

This is the view from my cottage for four days. It is really inspiring to be with nature, and to be so close to the horizon:

Four days of peace and healthy food served @ Dancing Dragon was truely refreshing. The resturant prides itself on "No Msg" and no heating up of food in microwave ovens. I remembered asking for soy sauce to go with the eggs, and the waiter replied "sorry we don't serve artificial flavouring".

Unfortunately, you can't bring the serenity back to city life. In fact, for the past week my team just moved up to the trading floor. You hear "Sell Sell Sell" especially around the 4pm window. As they speak louder, I begin to yell louder on my phone. Still, I am amazed @ the energy level, and love this new environment.

A Cat's Life



Chinese has this saying "tong ren bu tong ming". This also applies to my friend's cat Tiger, housed in a landed property he named "Cat Country".

Tiger is the most well-fed (fat) cat I have ever seen in my life. Tiger's sleeping and sitting posture is almost human-like. Recently, another kitten, named Sushi was adopted from the Animal Lovers League (for abandoned & abused pets). Sushi was very defensive as we tried to bring her out of the cage. She was even reluctant to drink the first feed of milk from a tablespoon. Of course, she refused to swallow the de-worming tablet as we tried to force her to swallow. But little does she realize, she is about to become one of the luckiest cats you can find.

As I mentioned "tong ren bu tong ming", I also read the following from The Sunday Times, UK, by AA Gill:

"Last week, I came this close to eating at the furry bowl, but it was dashed away before I could get stuck in. I have at last found a nation that eats cats for pleasure. Stand up, Ghana, and take a miaow. Innocently, a chap I was travelling with in the bush mentioned that he had to get home. “We’re having cat tonight,” he said. “Mmm-mmm.” Cat? Real cat? Moulty, lap-needling, stink-spraying, baby-scratching pretty kitty? “The same,” he said. Is this just you and your wife, or do others eat it, I inquired, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice. “Oh, everyone eats cats – they’re delicious, a great delicacy. We have restaurants that serve cats.” Do you keep them as pets as well? “Yes, of course. We love cats. The children play with them, then we eat them.”

With nature

Amed, Bali - on a fisherman's boat, a journey that started @ 5am.

Investments, Financial Security, Returns, Insurance, Marriage, Property

At my age bracket, these seem to be the most common conversation topics as I slowly catch up with various groups of friends. It is important to manage them well, however can there be too much emphasis such that it takes the fun out of life.

Today is Japan's national holiday, Showa Day 昭和の日! Thus, it is also public holiday for me here. I spent the morning visiting my insurance agent, asking him various & many questions to ensure that I am working hard, and that my money earned is working hard for me too.

I then met up with an university friend @ Icekimo started up by our university hallmate. Besides catching up on who's doing what, when is someone getting married, we also touched on business strategies.

I wanted to leave after a scoop of ice-cream, to come home to look @ my funds allocation. But I stayed on, as the girly white-pink atmosphere somehow threw me back to the age where you are more carefree, and not calculating how much returns or value something is giving you.

It was a nice way to spend my holiday which otherwise would have been spent on my investment portfolio. Also the boss was generous enough to let me serve some customers - I scooped ice-cream!

Yesterday evening I watched Blood Diamond, and was astonished by the cruelty of the 14-year civil that was ended only in 2003. As I watched on, I felt ashamed that I frequently waste food without thinking about the poverty that still exists around the world. Well, at least I started making donations on a regular basis. But there is definitely more to life than just money, finances and investments isnt it?

Deep thoughts the night before, but today I am aggressively studying investments again.

I have just booked a trip to Bali this weekend, so as to make use of the Golden Week holiday in Japan. Its time to espcape from city life, and explore something more relaxing. But then again, without proper management of funds, how can one truly enjoy a vacation in style, and without any worries?

Disco Fever @ Dinner & Dance

It was the 1st time I attended the annual D&D with Sg office - some of us decided to enjoy the event with a splash.

Well, here are some pictures from the evening. Although only 4 out of the Finance department dressed up, we were joined by many others in their Afro costumes. We decided that next year, we will go with the theme again. To my colleagues in Tokyo - some were a little puzzled over what D&D was, and thought it was rather bold. Still, it was interesting to see how some work hard, and enjoy playing hard at the same time.

Recently in Maui, Dalai Lama held a talk which was attended by 11,000! Apparently, Richard Gere visits India frequently to meet the Dalai Lama. It goes to show that no matter how rich or successful one can be, it can also be totally meaningless without truely understanding life, compassion or happiness.

Relaxing Holiday!

I went to the beach. I am not going to say too much about the scenary, but I enjoyed myself as I was playing with a childhood toy - blowing bubbles. A pity I didnt have my SLR with me, but soon a group of 6 energetic Malay kids were gathered around me, jumping up and down, trying to catch and burst the bubbles, and then trying to eat them.

With the mounting emphasis on climate change, I couldnt help but noticed a heavy vehicle emitting huge amounts of black exhaust "parked" at a carpark lot, for two hours. I didnt know what I could do, because going up to him personally, I might get a scolding (or beating?). Luckily I saw a newspaper article the next day which touched on climate change. I emailed the writer - Lynn. I was amazed that she replied within an hour. Anyway, in such scenarios, we can always contact NEA 1800-CALL NEA (1800-2255 632).

Tibetan saint, Langri Thangpa once wrote:

Whenever I associate with someone, may I think myself the lowest among all and hold the other supreme in the depth of my heart!

...pratical or not, I think it serves as a good reminder.

Working in an IB, there seems to be a lot of ego uncalled for. I remember going out for drinks with my colleagues recently, and we were soon joined by others from Barclays and Macquarie. I think most of the guys couldnt wait to flash their platinum cards.

Pay for Frustration

The roller-coaster emotional struggles with customer service for the past two months never seem to cease.

A shopping experience @ Nine West @ Wisma frustrated me to the core on Saturday. Eventually I wrapped up spending $ only at Nike and SK II, where staff was couteous and knowledgeable.

I am beginning to wonder if the problem was me. Or are most Singaporeans contented with what is provided in Singapore and simply stomach it? A study in 2005 revealed that 80% of Singaporeans do not give feedback to companies. However I noticed a trend. Most of my fellow friends who are always ready to provide constructive feedback are those who have lived overseas; and know that - quite a shame - but we still have a long way to go to reach world class.

Customer service can be simple, pleasant to bring about satisfaction.




Another cool moment of Japan's brilliant customer service:

Of course we are not expecting this in Singapore - but Tokyo really has it good, you pay and often you get excellent customer service AND product.

Want some video of it? Here it is:



Pretty cool and funny as he pushed the HELP button. As long as the experience is pleasant and efficient, this will definitely bring about a bigger pool of satisfied customers and even greater job satisfaction for staff!

Singapore service standards: Praised by IMF-World Bank delegates

The survey was conducted by the Singapore Tourism Board (STB). Close to 1,000 delegates took the poll, and 3 out of 4 (meaning app. 750) were very satisfied with hotel service standards and venue facilities. Over 83% also said they were likely to visit Singapore again for leisure. STB says "Singapore has what it takes to develop a world-class service culture". Since relocating back to Singapore, I noticed that the word "world-class" has been splashed several times on our home newspaper.

Based on my own experience, two months in Singapore now and a year in Japan, I have the following positive conclusion: "It is better off to have a goal/ intention than none." Indeed I have noticed apparent change in service standard of some. However, general customer service is still very frustrating as compared to Japan.

One recent experience I had was with Sistic - an online ticketing company. I wanted to give a birthday treat to my sister to Phantom of the Opera this April, and bought tickets via Sistic. Unfortunately, I received two email confirmations but with the Same Seat Number. I immediately sent an email to ask if they could check whether I accidentally purchased only one or the system made a mistake. I also painted a picture of how important the tickets are to my sister, stating that I could show my sister's Identification Card, and asked them to check availability of two tickets on April 6th.

The reply was "sorry the system shows you purchased only one ticket". I totally blew and replied that "This is not customer service....". I called them immediately, painting the picture, and inquired for alternative tickets, and one of the staff said "...So you made the mistake lah", again I blew..."I dont know whether I made the mistake or your system made the mistake, but bottom line is I need two tickets on that day". Apparently the call center previously won awards in 2004/05.

I forgot that I was no longer in Japan. Most of the time in Japan, I experienced either customer service or exceptional customer service. My bf who was recently in Tokyo told me that he was waiting for a train when his paper bag filled with items broke. A lady from a shop my bf didnt buy anything from immediately ran over with a new paper bag...

Personally, I wasnt surprised. For me, even visiting washrooms in most places in Japan was very pleasant. The cleaners are very polite and take pride in their jobs.

Still, at least we are trying to be world class, and this is a step forward -- meanwhile I will take these "opportunities" to practice patience and tolerance to counter the disappointments.

The Gathering

Maybe this picture is coming up a litte late? Yes this was taken during the Chinese New Year celebration back in February. Putting it up today as our extended family gathered today to visit our grandfather as a mark of respect and filial piety in conjunction with Qing Ming.

At the prayer's table, various sweets, food, fruits and coffee had been laid out. The rain made the temple crowd a little less pleasant that it could have been.

Grandmother

During Chinese New Year this time, the grandkids decided to come up with a special gift. Actually my brother Evan came up with this idea. We did a compilation pictures of all grandchildren.

Granny brought us up when we were younger. Back then, she always talked about how she would like to have 10 grandchildren in total. Well, our parents' generation sort of reached the target -- @ 9. The memory compilation hopefully made her very happy - as you can see above.

Recently in our extended family, we had a little crisis. Believe it drained some of us both on a mental and financial sense. In another light, it brought all families closer. Reading this, I know we should all feel very fortunate that we still have one another, and in fact, happy occasions to look forward to.

Looking back, a year in Japan felt like escapism. There was nothing much to worry about except language barrier. My only focus was work and exploration. Life could have been less stressful being away and alone. Being back now feels more like reality, there are decisions to be made, problems to listen to, stress of your loved ones sometimes you cant take away...

The 3rd generation - 9 grandchildren + Partners (Mark & Corina)

Busy Busy


"Life seems but a quick sucession of busy nothings."

- Jane Austen

Not sure why but it feels very busy since I returned to Singapore. Investments, stock prices and other such adult matters. I have been spending my weekends researching on investment methods/ options, and upgrading my credit card.

True enough finances need management, but finding out the "best option" seems mentally zapping. I read an article recently and struck me..perhaps this is what all the undue stress was about.

British psychologist Oliver James calls this the "Affleunza virus". Too much wealth can lead to sadness and disappointment. While societies are getting richer and richer, simulaneously individuals are becoming less and less happy.

A worldwide surge in material affluence, coupled with with demands of 21st Century living, appears to increase vulnerability to emotional distress.

To inoculate against this virus:

1) Stop thinking you have got to have more.

2) Start concentrating on getting on with your real life, your personal relationships and work that interests you.

3) Recognise when you are motivated by greed.

i.e seduced by money, possessions, appearances and fame.

4) Dont see life as a competition.

I cant believe I actually dreamt of my "enemy" last night. My bf would call this "undue attention". Generally speaking, of course, we do not wish good things for our "enemy". I must have been carrying around the burden of feelings of hostility and ill will. This can be a viscious cycle, and I better learn to have a new perspective on the "enemy".

5) Embrace the family and dont watch too much TV!

- The Straits Times March 21

The Ideal Kitchen

This is just a snapshot of the kitchen & the lighting designed by Mike and my bf. Sometimes after work, I would visit Club Soo Chow for a relaxing whisky. It is less than a bus-stop away from my apartment. Often it serves quality drinks and jazz music. The private space is definitely more comfortable than going to Balaclava which I went to recently with my colleagues.

I was curious to visit any places I have not since a year ago. Balaclava seemed to be filled with bankers and drinks are so expensive compared to Japan. My colleagues and I enjoyed the outdoor seats. But walking through the bar, you know its a place for "to see and be seen".

The Very Best

Surprise surprise. Talk about work-life balance. For the first time, here I am back home by 7pm.

Took out the above picture as I recalled my Kobe trip. The confectionery industry in Kobe is sometimes said to be the best place in Japan to purchase cakes and pastry of high quality. However back home in Sg, without Kobe confectionery, I was still pleased with spending an evening with my mum in front of the television, having chips and Bailey's.

All the talk about walk-life balance, nothing beats experiencing it and feeling the difference. Wikipedia defines Work-Life Balance as "a person's control over the conditions in their workplace. It is accomplished when an individual feels satisfied about their personal life and their paid occupation. It mutually benefits the individual, business and society when a person's personal life is balanced with his or her own job".

However, being workhaholic in nature, there was a reason why I decided/ had to come home early. Exhausted from the arguments I had with my bf, and the long hours last week, I Had to come home right after P&L sign-off today.

My cousin happened to forward me some teachings @ the right timing. After reading it, although still unsettled, but considerably calmer.

*Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
*Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
*Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
*In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past
*Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.