Inner Silence

I finally went to Mt Emily. A place where Gui & M often visit. It has a quiet charm and rather tranquil; and you feel seated in a private garden.

Read this article relating to WISDOM & INNER SILENCE by Ajahn Brahm which I would like to share in extracts:

Free Speech

I am surprised that speech is still free in our modern market-driven economies. It must only be a matter of time before some cash-strapped government regards words as another commodity and puts a tax on speech.

On reflection, it might not be such a bad idea. Slience would once again become golden. Marriage would last longer as young couples simply couldn't afford the cost of any argument. It would shift the tax burden from the hard workers onto the hard talkers. Of course, the most generous contributors to such a splendid tax scheme would be the politicians themselves. The more they argue in congress of parliment, the more $ would be raised for our hospitals and schools. How satisfying a thought...

Apart from the bright moonlight, this was our source of light during the dinner & wine.

With green tint

With slight purple tint

A traditional source of light


Crowd starts to come in at about 10~ish

We had a bottle of wine, and warm water for the pregnant lady.

Red

Going With the Flow!

A lil late, this was bro's birthday celebration early last month! We chose Italian -- Bellapizza!

Enjoying Wine

Enjoying Champagne - mafia style

A lil story to share on Going with the Flow by Ajahn Brahm! :)

A wise monk, whom I have known for many years, was hiking with an old friend in an antipodean wilderness. Late one hot afternoon they arrived at a splendid stretch of isolated beach. Even though it is against the monk’s rules to swim just for fun, the blue water was inviting and he needed to cool off after the long walk, so he stripped off and went in.

When he was a young layman, he had been a strong swimmer. But now, as a monk of long standing, it had been many years since he had last swim. After only a couple of minutes of splashing in the surf, he was caught in a strong riptide that began to sweep him out to sea. He was later told that this was a very dangerous beach because of the fierce currents.

At first, the monk tried to swim against the current. He soon realized, though, that the force of the current was too strong for him. His training now came to his aid. He relaxed, let go and went with the flow.

It was an act of great courage to relax in such a situation, as he saw the shoreline recede further and further away.

He was many hundreds of metres away from land when the current diminished. Only then did he start to swim away from the riptide and back towards shore.

He told me that swim back to land took every last ounce of his energy reserves. He reached the beach utterly exhausted. He was certain that, had he tried to fight the current, it would have beaten him. He would have been swept far out to sea just the same, but so depleted in energy that he wouldn’t have made it back. If he hadn’t let go and gone with the flow, he was sure he would have drowned.

Such anecdotes demonstrate that the adage ‘ When there’s nothing to do, then do nothing’ is not fanciful theory. Rather, it can be life-saving wisdom. Whenever the current is stronger than you are, that is the time to go with the flow. When you are able to be effective, that is the time to put forth effort!

He/ She is coming out soon


Its so cool, KJ should be delivering anytime from now till end of February. She showed me her four cm thick book on pregnancy, which is in English! KJ is a Chinese national, and she has went through this thick reference book, used a English-Chinese dictionary to translate some of the terms, and jotted down notes. She only started learning the English language a year ago! Thats the length a would-be mother would go for her child. I was feeling her stomach - the baby was a bit slanted to the left side of her stomach. So I asked what she does at home daily: She reads the newspapers in the morning, and basically watch TV for the rest of her day mainly.

We went to her room with both our husbands, she had a box of BRAND's InnerShine Berry Essence. She offered one to me and said its only for the girls, guys don't get to drink it. Such a leisurely lifestyle.

I can't wait, I am already planning what I should buy her when she is delivering. Flowers, Fruit basket, or tonic basket?

She wants to bring a video camera when she goes to hospital. I will charge up my camera battery so I can snap photos of her newborn. Her hubby however said, no, don't, in the first week, they look really ugly.

A Lot of Social Activities!

Hmm. Let's see, during this Chinese New Year I have had Yu Sheng six times. For my international friends, Yu Sheng is a famous salad dish traditionally eaten during the Chinese New Year celebration. It consists of raw fish, colourful vegetable, crackers, and accompanied beautifully by plum sauce.

Its been too many home visits for me. Today, I finally managed to get a good day to myself. I headed for Yoga in the late afternoon, and arranged for a foot massage with my gf. When I finished my yoga, I forgot I was scheduled to go to Hyatt to view a potential wedding venue. Bummer - I had to reschedule my foot massage later, and apologised profusely to my gf who was on her way to town already.

It was also unnecessarily chaotic and hectic on a Saturday. There were many call exchanges between Dad and myself. I was afraid he would be all alone since Mum is overseas. So I tried to invite him to join my activities, but actually he had already lined up a whole lot for himself on Sat - but eh, why couldnt he be frank right from the morning? All the phone ringing while I was having my foot rub, and low batt made my precious Saturday difficult.

Anyways, resting a bit now, and then heading out for a movie Gui picked. I dont even know what show he has booked.

Tomorrow I have another Bai Nian - visiting my boss's home. He is a Canadian, but anyhow, he is hosting a Chinese New Year celebration, and there will be 25 kids i heard! lol

tired and a bit stress... its just starting, but already I can't wait for the wedding preps to be over. We wanted to host it at the Scotts lounge at Grand Hyatt as it has such a classical charm. However they have a project going on, and could be renovating it soon. My mum-in-law said, Well if we really like the Scotts lounge, why dont we wait for it and choose another date. I blurted out immediately, No No, I just want to get it over and done with. She was laughing, she knew the many different rounds were getting on my nerves - ya, would like to get it over and done with - with grace.

So tentatively we might be choosing a Champagne Lunch. My father-in-law LOVES that idea. He wants to see all the guests pissed drunk..

Its official: Its one more month! She-is-delivering.

Whoa-la... this is her! After carrying a heavy belly for eight months, undeniably, she will be unloading in a month's time.

She is the closest girl friend so far that I have seen a belly grow, by leaps and bounds.

We had dinner together last Friday evening, together with my in-laws and Lama Shifu.

Apparently the doctor has scanned that it would be a boy! Shifu suggested it could be a girl. So this is science versus spirtual. OK... we will know in a month's time. After Shifu left, she didnt seem delighted that its not going to be a boy. Mmmm, I said "Be it boy or girl, its more important that the baby is born healthy."

As Ajahn Brahm puts it, the trigger for much of our anger is frustrated expectation. We sometimes invest so much of ourselves in a project that when it doesn't turn out as it should we become irate. All "should" point to an expectation, a prediction for the future. We might have realized by now that the future is uncertain, unpredictable. Relying too much on an expectation for the future, a "should", is asking for trouble. =)

Celebrating Another 365 Days that has flew past

Yesterday, we celebrated Por Por's 83rd birthday, in fact at exactly the same venue as last year. Por Por is currently still very active, humorous and energetic at her age.



At Straits Kitchen yesterday, there were about six Birthday celebrations!

The waiters would go to each birthday table and sing a catchy birthday tune while clapping, and provided a slice of birthday cake with a candle.

Every year, my mum-in-law would ask me to take photographs. She would whisper in my ears and say "Frankly, every year that goes by is a bonus".

This is not pessimism. The truth is everyday, time and life is precious. We feed and nourish our body daily. How about nourishing our mind which is equally, if not more important?

I PREFER NATURE

That was in Wulong - "Fairyland" if I remember correctly. It was one of the most relaxing moments of the trip - fresh air and strolling in the greens. M, Gui and I are kept walking on. The temperature was also very cool @ 15°C. There was no crowd, just lots of desirable space that urban dwellers would love. At that point, we wondered if we were in New Zealand. There were also horses strolling around.

Thats me. I am seldom photographed since I am usually the one behind the camera. Talking about photographs, this weekend I had to seek my girlfriends' opinions on wedding photography. Oh ya coz I am among one of the latest to have a customary wedding dinner now! I now know why I have been putting these preparations off until my in-laws pointed a gun at our brains. Don't ask me why, but I am just not very interested in wedding preparations. I am not sure why. I feel that Gui and I have already progressed on in our relationships - but anyways... I have to do some preparations.

This week has also been busy! We are considering relocating Bobby to London - a difficult & costly decision but we believe it is the best for him. Sumini's contract is ending in April, and my mum-in-law is thinking of getting a part-time one only, until Gui and I return from our holiday in May. I am quite worried about the housework bit - I am not going to deny it!!

Ahhh, isn't looking at this just beautiful? My girlfriends also ask me why I am so thrifty with money? What am I saving them for? I bet they wanted to use the word miser hahaha... but ya I don't throw my $ around looking for brands (only very occasionally) - the only other area I am willing to spend on are my holidays... can't do without in order to keep my sanity =)

This is Wulong crack. We had to climb many steps down to get to the bottom. Tough trip, but staring upwards make it all worthwhile =)))

A Rainbow! Seems that Gui and I tend to see a rainbow whenever we travel. I remember a really beautiful and lengthy one we saw in Chiangmai during breakfast.

As I write this, I know I am tired. Its been a bit of dashing, coordination and lunching. A very well spent weekend. But I am really sleepy. Will hit the sack at 10pm tonight!

Mysterious Couple @ Forbidden City - looking in in in

Something to smile about, this was taken at Forbidden City, Beijing. It is a remarkable achievement in terms of the complexity of the architecture...

Three days into my work week of 2009. Met up with an ex-colleague, and he felt surprised that I have changed - I no longer place career as my first priority in life. I said of course - life & responsibilities can be different once you get married.

But of course I ponder - which is the real me? Without a partner, would I push on more aggressively in my career goals? Without a partner, would I even need to think about striking a balance? and of course there are days where I look at my girlfriends who stay at home - and need not face the stress of climbing up the corporate ladder; nor trying to keep themselves safe from unethical politics.

Which is better? Guess no one knows. Everyone envies that someone else. Everyone has their own unique path to walk on...everyone should have deep insights into the true nature of their own life...

Do You See the Light Yet?

For life is the mirror of king and slave.

'Tis just what you are and do;

Then give to the world the best you have,

And the best will come back to you.

-MADELINE BRIDGES

2009 has began, and it is also the time where people start taking out their formidable pen to pin their resolutions. Gui and I would do an annual reflection on the last day of the year, and share thoughts of what is important and what we wana achieve in 2009 ...

On Jan 1 2009, my in-laws organised a New Year lunch at home (bribing us) with spaghetti with pesto sauce, grilled chicken wings and tiger prawns, salad, soup and German white wine. Soon after the hearty meal... the rules were laid out. On the first day of Chinese New Year, I have to follow the Gui family to visit the oldest and most senior member - Por Por.. no longer with my own family.

I have to go up to Kemaman for the QingMing Festival 清明節, and then check out some hotel venues there for a wedding reception in August 09.

Since it is a fresh start to '09, I want to maintain my positivity... so I smile and say 'ok'...

Happy New Year!!!

Happy 2009, to my friends...!

Never mind I started toasting since noon today...

2008 was kinda rough...definitely looking forward to a great 2009 for my family and all of you guys out there!!!

cheers!

Where is my Clarity?...

Two months ago, I was up in a mountain. I wanted a rural experience, and was introduced to a mountain village. Up in the mountain, the children looked really carefree. Although a dilapidated home, they had a lot of room and yards to run about. They looked kinda dirty too, but at the same time happy.


I thought that rural experience would have taught me to be grateful and contended. Back in the city, and I have been feeling this way on & off for a while now, I can't help but continue to feel I need something more. How about an inspiration? I just went to Borders to look for one... temporary high... Wait a minute! Is this what people call a mid-life crisis? Am I a ticking clock?...

Oh Crap!

Am I at a fork? Have been thinking about this since the two weeks vacation too. Should I change to a new area of work (bearing in mind that learning something new would also create more stress); just try to keep my current job stable; plan for a baby & introduce a new meaning in life; start cooking; take on more serious photography and travel the world; get serious with Dharma learning? I'm freaking out...where is my inspiration?


Does any girl out there feel my way? Is there anyone out there experiencing a fork of decisions, or just always contended and happy with everyday life? Should I push ahead or learn contentment? I need inspiration...

An Annual Home Affair

Christmas Dinner 2008

Every year for the past ooooh so many years now we have a Christmas eve dinner, followed by a log cake, and of course the exchange of Christmas presents. This year though we broke the tradition a bit, by bringing forward the cake cutting and exchange of gifts, instead of the usual clock strikes 12am fun. Before I venture off on the wonderful presents received this year, this dinner was also different not only in terms of style, but we had a rather serious and brainy discussion. It was about the future of Dad's business. No details to be revealed here. A wee bit stressful don't you think?

The serious discussion was relieved by the holiday treat of ripping off the Christmas gifts! According to BBG, customer visits to U.S. retailers fell 24% last weekend compared with 2007, the biggest drop on record, as deepened discounts failed to attract consumers. Tough times call for tough measures! We were also more practical with gift exchanges this year. A simple present that I like from my pile this year was a book from my lil brother. "be happy" by Monica Sheehan...his Christmas greetings to me written in the book was "..Never lose sight of what is the most important thing in life.."

Today is the end of my two weeks vacation. An interesting discovery of myself during the two weeks. I didn't need coffee every morning to kick-start my system... I didnt know I could simply stay at home, read and listen to music, and sometimes idle my time away...I always thought I cannot slow down, and fear staying at home, rotting and getting bored. With this pocket of opportunity, I actually realize I can...although I am not sure if this can lasts long... but I realize I can... I can enjoy the simple joy of staying home (without any housework please...).

Christmas dinner prepared by Mum

Ice-cream log cake

Tang Yuan 汤圆

This year's Dong Zhi 冬至 celebration was different. During the weekend, my in-laws invited my family over for dinner and tang yuan. What was also different was I had to start rolling the tang yuan since 1pm in the afternoon. I was rolling it together with Por Por, Sumini and Sri. They were teaching me how to roll so that it is Really Round...and also the symbolic meaning behind rolling (besides eating it..yum!) the balls.

Brown Sugar wrapped in each dang yuan

To make this, you will need glutinous rice flour. Well, Sri and Sumini both prepared the dough, the white and the pink respectively. The glutinous rice flour is mixed with a small amount of water till it "feels right". Sorry I don't know the recipe here, I mainly participated in the more fun bit, which was filling it with brown sugar in the middle, and rolling it into a ball.

Eating dang yuan in a must for the Dong Zhi celebration. This year, the festival falls on 21 December, Sunday. It is also known as the Winter Solstice Festival.

In modern times, many Chinese, especially Singaporeans, have probably stopped celebrating this occasion.

It is supposed to symbolize unity in a family. I ate 18 balls that evening!

Hopefully this rekindles your memory of having eaten dang yuan with your older generation. It is definitely easier to buy the frozen ones from Supermarket, but nothing beats gathering around a huge tray, chatting about the significance of this day, and rolling it for your family!

Does it All Add Up?

Ever since the subprime crisis first happened in 2007, we have seen several other financial and corporate failures, exposing the weakness of the financial industry and the economy.

First it was the $700 billion bailout of the U.S. financial system, now Obama and congressional Democrats have entered into discussions over an economic stimulus package that would grow to include $850 billion in new spending and tax cuts over the next two years. - Washington Post. Whether this will pull the nation out of a deepening recession? Lets leave it to another post.

While the economy slows down, so did I. Day 6 of my two weeks vacation. Mainly spending my mornings attending yoga class, and helped my mum a bit in the office at noon. I knock off at 5:30pm sharp. Yesterday, Friday, I went to check out the Isetan sales. Bought a hell lot of Christmas presents for my family and myself to stimulate the economy.

Read the following and found it interesting. Here are extracts of it. Enjoy!

"The New York Times", November 22, 2006.

ADDING IT ALL UP

By Rick Moranis

The average American home now has more televisions sets than people – according to Nielsen Media Research. There are 2.73 TV sets in the typical home and 2.55 people, the researchers said.

I have two kids. Both are away at college.

I have five television sets. (I like to think of them as a set of five televisions.) I have two DVR boxes, three DVD players, two VHS machines and four stereos.

I have nineteen remote controls, mostly in one drawer.

I have three computers, four printers and two faxes. I have three phone lines, three cell phones and two answering machines. I have no messages.

I have forty-six cookbooks.

I have sixty-eight take-out menus from four restaurants.

I have one hundred and sixteen soy sauce packets.

I have three hundred and eighty-two dishes, bowls, cups, saucers, mugs and glasses.

I eat over the sink. I have five sinks, two with a view. I try to keep a positive view.

I have thirty-nine pairs of golf, tennis, squash, running, walking, hiking, casual and formal shoes, ice-skates, and Rollerblades. I am wearing slippers.

I have five hundred and six CD, cassette, vinyl and eight –track recordings. I listen to one radio station all day.

I have twenty-six sets of linen for four regular, three foldout and two inflatable beds. I don't like houseguests.

I have one hundred and eighty-four thousand frequent flier miles on six airlines, three of which no longer exist.

ChongQing, The Wet Market

ChongQing's weekly market, Oct 2008.

Spice - an important ingredient to complete every dish in ChongQing. No matter where you go, or what dish you have, it's cooked with spices. At some point, I felt that every dish on the same table tasted almost the same. The food is often greasy, but due to the cold weather and laborious nature of the economy, you hardly see fat people around.

The Start of my Vacation...


... Hmm, I'm sure many would want to be in my shoes. Two weeks of vacation days to clear! This is however the first time I am staying in Singapore while clearing my leave.

I have two weeks to kill. Initially I was filled with fears with two weeks of non-work time. Ah well, after struggling three days with food poisoning, I realized I might just be able to cope with little pleasures of life at home.

I woke up this morning at 10am, defying the 8am alarm that went off. Not as early as I intended to, but hey its vacation! So far, spent an hour on the newspapers, and basically came back to my desk with a To-Do list for the vacation - mainly adminstrative.

ok, with pockets of time available in my hands, I really should consider what I wana do... catch up on reading, being reflective of 2008... Yes! because when you are working, you are too busy to reflect or think if this is the direction you wana head to. Whenever I used to have vacation days, I would fly out of the country & lah lah lah enjoy - never took the time to *think***.

There, I'm going to try being a nice girl this week (at least). Not going to complain about boredom as I frequently did for the past two weeks, & always wanting to do more. Will quietly catch up on reading, practice my yoga faithfully, look out for symphony orchestra to attend, and to some soul searching. Today is Day 1, let see how it rolls!

Whats up with the economy??

The economy, at its most basic form, is defined as the realized social system of production, exchange, distribution, and consumption of goods and services of a country or other area (wikipedia).

Right now, it is sick. First it was the banks, and now Detroit automakers are in line seeking emergency aid. Individual consumers like you and me, are probably limiting purchases as the labour market no longer offers the stability or security it used to. Falling property and stock values are probably hurting some household's wealth - or it could become a good opportunity for some ;)

In November, another half a million has joined the unemployment toll. Sigh, where are the happier news these days?

Still on ChongQing: Looking for Simplicity



Not so long ago I had a first taste of a rural experience. It was my first rough travel. Couldn't find McDonalds, coke nor coffee but had to deal with multiple home-cooked meals. What made meal times more challenging was the "love" at the table. No common spoons for the dishes. Everyone dips their chopsticks into the soup/ gravy - including the stranger bus-driver...hmm....

It was tough, but right now I am itching to do another rough travel again. Let it be Bhutan, Nepal or even India. No longer interested in comfy cities tours. I know my mum would sigh "always itching for challenges"...


These days at work, its all about avoiding the retrenchment axe. It becomes real when I see individuals disappearing. It becomes more real when a friend asked if my Dad's firm might be recruiting since his friend was axed.

Trading activities have also diminished. I finish my work earlier than usual and reach home earlier than before. Hmm, I guess I should just be contented to have a job now, but returning home early is really not my cup of tea. In fact, I finished my work @ 630pm just now (first time!)... took a train to Orchard - walked a detour, went into a CD shop to listen to free music, and then walked home.

Mr Gui is in Tokyo now. He is on a business trip. He went to a Jazz bar last evening, and today he has to go to DisneySea. Whoa, why won't I want his job?

Toying Around with my EOS Kiss


This was taken @ Beijing airport.

Friday evening, I went to a house shochu party @ Berrima Road. Interesting crowd as there were many SLR lovers. I also had the chance to view some of the artistic pictures taken. The owner has made a $1,000 buck just from his photography (& that is only his hobby). He also gave me some tips on photography - think I am going to get a new lens soon!

Am I the only one feeling stressed out there? Shares of Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley continued to plunge on Friday. Now is the time where everyone's just trying to keep their heads low and to keep their jobs.

At a difficult time like this - here's a little poem to calm my nerves down..haahha

Berton Braley on "Opportunity"

For the best verse hasn't been rhymed yet,
The best house hasn't been planned,
The highest peak hasn't been climbed yet,
The mightiest rivers aren't spanned,
Don't worry and fret, faint hearted,
The chances have just begun,
For the Best jobs haven't been started,
The Best work hasn't been done.

I'm Still Searching

I had drinks with a banker today. We spoke a bit about different career paths and he told me that at the end of the day, its about "knowing what you want". So I asked him back, Do you know what you want? He replied, No actually I don't. He is in his early 40's, successful, earning v well, has two kids and a dog, and well-liked by people around him due to his humour, intelligence and wits. I told him you are kidding me - With such a successful track record, you don't know what you want? pause...

He's not the first. Another friend of mine in his mid 30's is already a millionaire. He laments. He says that he knows he can make money now, but where should he stop? Where does his draw the line between earning more, working non-stop and balancing the quality of life? He was frustrated.

What about me? I am getting tired. I am not earning a million, but I am getting tired. Tired with the politics I am fighting, which many has asked me to give up. My family however thinks otherwise. They think its an opportunity to right a wrong. I am truely tired though.

It is now 2am. I am still waiting for my hubby to return. Out at work at the moment. Do I really know what I want after all this education, and a fortunate life which many say I shouldnt lament about?

I doubt it.... ;(

Still in the Village!

Below are different compounds of the house. Looks interesting? It is really different to see and experience with your own eyes! Especially the toilet!

Of course, I couldn't or wouldn't even stop to take a picture of it. You basically go in, pinch your nose & run out quickly!

Before this trip, I was thinking between Paris, New Zealand or Maldives. The decision? I prefer a rough travel while still young, while Mr Gui prefers a relaxing by-the-pool trip. In the end, we decided on ChongQing which would be rough, and then round it up in Beijing which should be more relaxing. So scroll down for the rough part of the trip first.


So, today Barack Obama swept to victory as the nation's first black president! I remember we were stuck on CNN in Beijing, watching the Final debate in the room instead of heading straight to the Forbidden City as planned.

OK so this is the kitchen - but in a shophouse apartment. Not all homes look like this, this place just got renovated - I think my friend probably had to sponsor his in-laws in ChongQing.

And all these ladies cook a mean SzeChuan meal!

KJ's Grandmother Room - this is really In the Village


Classic! I just went whoaaaaa when I saw the room.

A Old & Healthy Couple

Out of the village photo collection, this was my favourite. Almost like a picture you will only see on TV probably back in the 70's.

Dining Room - with Cool Decoration


Just concrete - & some decorative infomative wallpaper stuck on the wall - not even aligned properly, but turns out to be a rather artistic corner.

Coal Powered Kitchen

Again another room where I couldnt believe my eyes. Check out the wok too.

A rare experience!

how about a simple life?

No lack of mahjong pals in the village.

Lets enjoy some nuts.

Lets get together and crack some nuts - again...

Fresh nuts grown from your own farm.

sometimes you have to think basic and simple. Life in the rural is so. Nut-cracking in ChongQing village seems like a national pastime to me. Delicious... as I cracked open each nut, although I was enjoying the moment - the cool air, staring into greens, I wonder how time can tick so slowly. I could almost notice the minutes that went by. At a workplace, you hardly have time to notice or appreciate how the hour flew by.

You know what? People in the rural look happy. They truely do. Never mind their clothings were not fanciful; nor the fact they look kinda dirty. They look worry-free, they dont care whether its going to be Obama or McCain, they have sufficient to eat just based on the vegetation and farm animals they have reared. My friend M gave S$50 to his father-in-law living in the village. His wife asked why so little. I thought M made a good point - "There's no need to be more since he will only spend it on beer and cigarettes." I mean - there isn't any other real wants that they needed.

Of course, life and pressure in the city is different. Anyway I have just learned about three other Wealth Buddhas.

Lakshmi - The Hindu Goddess of Prosperity.

Ganapati - widely revered as the Remover of Obstacles and more generally as Lord of Beginnings and Lord of Obstacles, patron of arts and sciences, and of intellect and wisdom.

Saraswati - Hindu Goddess of knowledge, music and all the creative arts. She is the mother of Manjurshri (Wisdom). Shifu says wisdom is very important. With wisdom, it brings about understanding.

Buddhism is based on the impermanence doctrine. Similarly, the economic prosperity is not permanent. Especially not permanent because F.I. comes up with innovative financial products that taps on people wanting more than they can afford to. I believe there are more damages to be witnessed...