Back in Sync

2012-02-09T23:16:00.004+09:00

TD loves to read

That's Daddy and TD at the library. We have meant to attend the Dinosaurs Stomp mini concert at Forum, but the loudspeaker was unpleasantly loud. We have decided to hide at the library upstairs instead. Somehow TD was not in a reading mood that day. He was more immersed with the different coloured stools, and asking Daddy and Mummy to sit on the green, the red or the blue stool. Yes he loves to give instructions.

Mummy makes half an hour before bedtime a reading routine. I hope that can calm TD down before bed, and hopefully he would ease into sleep with less effort...athough these days he can take up to one hour after his last milk.

When TD is in the mood, he likes to complete the last few words of every page. That makes reading to him easier!

2012-02-05T22:44:00.004+09:00

Last Day of Chinese New Year

It was the last day of Chinese New year yesterday, so we went to Ye Ye's house for dinner. Only Tai Por came. This year's Lunar New Year felt a little crazy with a 22 months old toddler. Juggling between his meal times, nap time, and being wary of individual or children who are sick. We also invited Ishitani-san and family on the sixth day of Lunar New Year. Celebrated with champagne and beer rather than the traditional chinese tea.

Seventh day of Lunar New Year, there was a dragon dance downstairs. We thought TD might be scared, but he acutally enjoyed it a lot. He kept saying 'See dragon, see dragon' when we wanted to cut the walkabout short.

Ok, this has to be a short entry...it has been a little crazy these days... hope to have more time to do reading, and to post an entry from time to time!

2012-01-03T23:24:00.005+09:00

Theodore Learns

At 20 months, TD attended the holiday program at Julia Gabriel. This video is of him on the 5th consecutive day when he had lossened up and decided to particpate!

After weeks of no classes, and today was his first in 2012, he was a little difficult this morning.

He knows his name is 'Theodore' and says it many times at home, but would refuse to say his name when the teacher asks him so.

When the teacher asked him which colour card to choose for his fun pass between red, yellow, blue and green. He said 'purple', as Jovanah's nails were purple. Jovanah asked TD again, which colour, and TD said 'fun' as he recognised the word 'fun' on the card. Jovanah was very surprised that he can read words; but anyhow TD still did not choose a colour.

The letter of today was 'h' for helicopter. When the teacher turned on the remote helicopter, all the kids were thrilled and took turns to take it from Jovanah and place it back to the centre of the mat after taking off; but TD said 'off, off, off'.

Slowly, slowly, I hope with routine, he would be back to how he enjoyed class during the holiday program!

2011-12-02T22:29:00.006+09:00

Holiday Program

23 November 2011, I brought TD to the holiday program at JG, where we spent half a day at the Bird Park.

It was a five days, two hour each playgroup at Forum.

So, I spent the week bringing TD to playgroup in the morning; and then rushing off to work in the afternoon, and then being home by about 7pm for dinner.

I had a lot of fun and felt a lot of love spending so much time with TD together.

On the flipside though, I seemed to have burnt out a little haha..

When I return home after work these days, I stop playing flash cards with him....guess I just need some time to get back to routine haha

After work these days, I am pretty exhausted. After reading to him at bedtime, I will kinda glue myself to my computer, although doing brainless stuff.

When I first moved in, I will spend some time reading on my bed before bedtime. Now, even when I have time, I don't get down to chanting nor reading a book (which I should).... I just stone and surf the internet....kinda like a waste of time...hmm what is happening to me?

Hopefully, I will get some useful routine back ;)

2011-11-22T23:02:00.005+09:00

Everybody Loves Coke

It's amazing how a can of coke can be highly desirable by a 19 months old. TD's development has been amazing to me.

Here are some of his funny conversations that are memorable to me.

Saturday Nov 19 2011, I woke up and decided that positivity starts from home. So I gave TD three to four big smiles while playing flash cards with him. On the fourth smile, TD smiled back at Mummy, and said "What's so funny?"

Tuesday Nov 22 2011, I was having breakfast with TD, and he wanted some of my fresh milk. I gave him a spoonful.

TD: Thank you.
Mummy: :)
TD: What must you say?
Mummy: surprised, and giggled back uncontrollably "You are WELCOME!"
TD: So loud
Mummy: ?

2011-10-26T22:03:00.012+09:00

Its Playtime!

Theodore started an once-a-week, two hours playgroup at Julia Gabriel at 18 months. It is an accompanied playgroup with myself so far, and my mum for one lesson. TD is the youngest in class with most toddlers being older than 20 months. So to the rest of the class, TD is like a baby. TD clings onto me almost half the time, with the exception of playground time. This is the only time where I can disappear and TD does not really care. He can play with the teachers, while I chat with the other mummies not within his sight...

Today is Deepavali, a public holiday. Hubby is in Hong Kong for a few days, so I had the opportunity to spend an entire day with TD.

It is amazing how his speech has developed from singular words of 'fan', 'machine' etc to phrases and now sentences. His favourite daily sentences/ phrases these days are:

Daddy makes coffee in the morning.

Mummy uses the hair dryer.

Barrier goes up...inside (trying to say that the barrier goes up so that the car can go inside the carpark)

Wipers dry the window.

Washing machine.. dirty clothes

Metronome please

Put Back

Seems like his favourite phrases are all to do with machineries or something mechnical. Rather focused and peculiar to me. Thats why I have been wondering if Montessori might be more suitable for him than a fixed curriculum. I do not have much knowledge in this area though...researching and trying to understand at this point...

2011-10-10T23:03:00.002+09:00

Theodore is 18 months

My boy is 18 months old. I wish I can write more, but this is the third day of my move to my new home, so I have to admit I am really zonked out. Yet I don't want to lose track of the wonderful things my boy is going through...

Thats him, taking his own initiative to hug a big soft toy he saw along the way at Plaza Singapura.

TD is starting to string sentences together. He said "water, bubbles, water come out". He was trying to describe how the humidifier in his room works.

TD's first complete english sentence is "What is Daddy doing?" since I always say that to him.

Oh yes, if I say TD is 18 months, he would repeat it after me like a parrot..."18 months, 18 months".

Irwin is setting up the CCTV in the new house now. Tomorrow is the first day I return to work after the move. I hope everything will be A-ok at home, and have reminded Sumini to be diligent and to supervise TD, and not let him playy alone. For a working mum, she can only pray and hope that everything at home is ok...

2011-09-28T23:03:00.003+09:00

A very Busy Birthday
Yes I am 32

This was the most busy birthday I had. Usually, I would try to take leave and not work on my birthday. This year, my birthday falls on a Saturday, and because of the new house...phew was I busy.

The only time where it felt like my birthday was the many messages I received on Facebook and Whatsapp. Finally, in the evening, Irwin, Theodore and myself managed to steal a little bit of time to relax at one of our favourite Italian restaurant - Bella Pasta. This was also the only time I could tell Irwin, tonight it is your turn to take care of the little toddler while I tuck in to my dinner at my own pace..thank you :)

So I am 32. I don't mind writing it down as time seems to flies so fast I seem to be forgetting my age.

2011-09-20T23:56:00.003+09:00

Showing Theodore the Aeroplane

Sunday morning, TD woke up at 7am. After his milk, he didn't go back to sleep and we decided to bring TD to the airport to show him what an aeroplane is.

Irwin and I headed straight to McDonalds first to fill our stomach with pancakes, while TD had his banana + kiwi + cereal + yogurt. TD was very interested in the lift elevators. He stood there for a while and was saying 'up up up', 'down down down', 'coming up', 'going down'. At 17 months 3 weeks old, TD stood at the lift and said 'Bye Bye Auntie', 'Bye Bye Uncle' as the strangers took the lift.

We went to the departure viewing level, and again as the aeroplane drove off, he said 'Bye Bye aeroplane', and was telling one of the Aunties "aeroplane". Quite a social and talkative boy yea...

So there he is, running off by himself. Daddy & Mummy decided to sit where we were to observe what he would do...He is growing up real fine isn't he :)

2011-09-05T22:52:00.004+09:00

Counting my Blessings

Connecting with nature always bring back some peace into urban life. The weekend of Pierce Reservoir and Each Coast beach has lifted my spirits and the sense of calmness. That morning, we were running late as I had to heat up TD's lunch which was still in its frozen state. We also received a parking fine as we could not find a parking lot. We were expecting to 'swallow down' McDonalds on the beach mat so that we could cater to TD's tight schedule of meals and naptime. When we arrived, my Dad said 'No, go behind McDonalds, I will buy you breakfast'.

Yippie, thats how the calmness all began.

Having a sea view, and my mummy feeding TD meant that I could take a little break from the morning rush of packing his clothes and toys, and getting his meals and milk powder ready.

Why I feel very blessed... I have a very supportive and wise family. I have a very kind husband. TD is growing and developing well. He is happy and healthy - what more do I ask for?

At a point where I count my happiness, I would also like to share a page I read today (I have more time to read ever since I start to schedule TD's zzz time between 8:30pm - 9:30pm. It has been a success! but less time between TD and me after work ;(

"...the other class of counterproductive emotions -which include feelings such as lust, hatred, enmity (feeling of hostility or ill will), jealousy, and belligerence (hostile/ warlike attitude) - should not be expressed; they become more and more frequent. Expressing them tends to make them stronger and more prevalent. It is better to reflect on the disadvantages of engaging in such emotions and try to dsisplace them with feelings of satisfaction and love. We should forcefully overcome negative emotions when they appear, but it would be even better to find ways to prevent them in the first place."

2011-09-01T22:56:00.003+09:00

The Beach

17 months 1 week. TD explored the beach at East Coast. Gong Gong suggested bringing TD to the beach. We were all so excited about it. Por Por went to check out four malls to buy a beach toy the evening before, but no avail - yeah how come Orchard malls no longer carry beach tools? haha. Luckily Daddy went to Ikea in the evening to buy some scoops and cups as a subsititute. Yes thats how much we care haha.

Apparently Gong Gong woke up at 4am and was very excited about how TD would react to the sand and sea too.

Anyhow, TD LOVES the Beach!! He was a bit apprehensive about the sand at first but soon got over it very quickly. He scooped sand into the red bucket and then poured it out and said 'empty' - his favourite word these days (He would intentionally take anything out in order to get it empty and then make his point that it is empty!).

When he first saw the waves, he held on tight to Daddy's hand, but he soon let go, took a step, and then two and then three and was kicking in the water as Daddy held on under TD's arms. He had a good half an hour in the sea, despite sea water going into his mouth and eyes, he kept wanting to go back into the sea water. That was a really fun first beach adventure for the whole family!

Many things happened in the month of August, but I don't think I want to write about it, as I want to let it go and move on with my life. I learnt a lot from the incident, about myself, and about her. Last night, as TD went to bed at 7:30pm, that gave me some nice time to read How to Practise by Dalai Lama... "being constantly aware of what you are doing with your body and your speech" is important. In summary,

self-awareness to refrain from physical and verbal actions that cause harm to others- this prepares a person to move beyond the repeated round of birth, aging, sickness and death (samsara)

restrain the mind from falling into selfishness

focus on wisdom and compassion

abandon the ten nonvirtues:

- Physical: killing, stealing, sexual misconduct

- Verbal: lying, divisive talk, harsh speech, senseless chatter

- Mental: coventousness, harmful intent, wrong views

small acts of compassion grant meaning and purpose to our lives

In difficult personal circumstances, the best recourse is to be as honest and sincere as possible. By responding harshly or selfishly, you simply make things worse. This is especially apparent in painful family situations. When you experience a difficult period, do your best to avoid behaviour that will add burden later on.

Under no circumstances should you lose hope. Hopelessness is a real cause of failure.

2011-08-02T23:34:00.004+09:00

A Trip to the Supermarket

Sunday, we brought him to the supermarket with us. No choice as Irwin is working all weekends, and that was the only opportunity to spend time together as a family. TD used to hate sitting in the trolley when younger, but clearly at 16 months, the supermarket and the trolley excited him. He was talking and laughing loudly, and the staff smiled and laughed at him. I don't know, at times he is quiet and timid; at times confident and loud. I guess all toddlers have their moods - just like adults, depending on whether we sleep or eat adequately as well.

2011-07-30T23:48:00.002+09:00

Theodore at 16 months

This is my current iphone screen saver. Isn't he a delight? I have to say, I find it quite useful as my wallpaper. When I find the day going tough, or overly busy, taking just a second look at this picture takes all troubles away.

Everything has been going well with Theodore, and I am thankful for it. Looking at the famine in Somalia really breaks my heart. I made a small donation - what else can I do? Hope the situation can get better...

2011-06-05T23:42:00.004+09:00

Our Family

Our family had an one night holiday at Mandarin Orchard (courtesy of Dad's complimentary voucher). TD was absolutely delighted. Jumping on the bed, exploring his reflection in the mirrors, playing with the cupboard knobs, looking down at the cars, swimming at the pool (despite the shivering he wanted to go back to the pool again and again). It was not that easy having a holiday with a toddler. In fact, it becomes TD's holiday. We were the facilitators of his happiness index. Irwin and I had a lot of fun watching him enjoy his hoiday, so we decided that even though it is hard work, our future holidays would still be with TD included.

Back to reality, there was another blowout in the house. So, this time FIL decides that the carpets should come back (again). TD's skin is much better now, but he is still sensitive to heat, extreme usage of perfume, and if it is a rather dirty place (no offence, but he does not seem to take food court and coffee shops well even if it is a cool day...maybe its the oil/ dirt in the air?). Thus I am highly suspicious that TD's skin will react to the dander infected carpets. I am afraid that he would develop asthma if forced to be exposed to the allergen over time since he was previously proven to be allergic to those carpets. Thus I got worried, stressed and agitated.

I am unable to understand FIL's love for carpets. I am unable to understand why his grandson's health should not take priority. I am sure he might have his reasons, but at this point, I can't see it. So I kinda blew up. I guess I should have handled it better, but who would understand a working mum's stress? I need to know that the home environment is appropriate for TD since I cannot be by his side. Frankly taking care of his skin is quite tiring and it is stressful watching him scratch. In-laws would never understand. In fact, I have seen how they "look after" him, they just allow him to scratch (or maybe they didn't notice?).

Dalai Lama says "Cultivating an attitude of compassion and developing wisdom are slow processes. As you gradually internalize techniques for developing morality, concentration of mind, and wisdom, untamed states of mind become less and less frequent. You will need to practice this technique day by day, year by year. As you transfrom your mind, you will transform your surroundings. Others will see the benefits of your practice of tolerance and love, and will work at bringing these practices into their own lives."

2011-04-28T00:03:00.003+09:00

Appreciating Life

I have been feeling busy and tired. TD caught stomach flu from his parents. Recovered with just probiotics, so I should feel happy. Then there are always family issues, pulling me back from getting back to my work momentum.

However, tonight, two issues touched my heart.

1) I just realised that my helper who is close to 40 was trying for a kid before she was asked persistently by MIL to come back to Singapore to help. After this contract, she will go back and continue her family planning as she currently has one daughter only. I felt touched. Imagine being at 40, she gave up her own family planning to come to foreign land to help out another family's baby. Based on her medical checkup, she is still able to have babies, so she will continue her plan when she returns.

2) I watched the Marine Parade GRC short rally between PAP and NSP (while pumping milk). Not sure why I got emotional and sobbed! Somehow I felt that whichever party wins, the fact is there are people who would step up to fight for values or justice they believe in. Their decisions can impact/ benefit millions of people (lets not talk about the unhappy minority - there will always be people unhappy whenever a policy has to be made - with this, neither does this indicate that I am a PAP supporter either).

I used to talk a lot about politics when younger. I questioned my Dad, Why this, Why that? Why is it like this? Then, one day while in the car, my Dad said, in Singapore, this is a country, if you don't like its politics, you leave the country. His point was, no point questioning it(maybe I was asking too much questions). With that, I stopped all politics inquisitiveness till now! Till I saw and read more about Nicole Seah.

The point is, there are people out there who are willing to serve the country for the good of all. How about me? How am I contributing to the society, to the world? Perhaps I am contributing to TD more directly...but can I be more useful?

I guess at this age, I do not have much of an option, but can contribute more in terms of trying to grow and make my family happy; contribute to my family business and hope that I make the right decisions and policies that can benefit the employees (they work hard, and I hope that we can make lots of $$ to remunerate them; and that they have a reasonable working environment that they can enjoy working in); and add value to our clients.

There were some challenges at work today. I am glad that I handled it well. It comes with maturity (age!). At a higher management level, it is important to be calm, insightful and compassionate. This paragraph from the Dalai Lama book best explains it:

Trouble is bound to come, so cultivating the right attitude is crucial. Anger diminishes our power to distinguish right from wrong, and this ability is one of the highest human attributes. If this is lost, we are lost. Sometimes it is necessary to respond strongly, but this can be done without anger. Anger is not necessary. It has no value.

Tired, but loving my day!

2011-04-14T23:52:00.003+09:00

Update on the whirlpool

Yes it has been a whirlpool for both Irwin and myself. Irwin was hit with food poisoning over the weekend. I was not sure then if I should bring him to the clinic but upon my Dad's advice we brought him to Gleneagles clinic, where he was put on a drip for an hour or two. Finally his paleness faded and some touch of vibrance resumed. My Dad drove from home to pick us up and stayed with us through at Gleneagles without any hesitation. What can I say? A big thank you.

After he fetched Irwin home, he dropped me at NTUC finest at Somerset as I still had to do marketing for TD and cook for him. That was when my first diarrhea hit. I was all nausea by the time I called for a cab home. When I reached home, I cooked and pureed for TD. Shortly after, I lost appetite and was very nausea too. This continued till the next Monday afternoon. I didn't want to move much as I felt very nausea. Thank goodness somehow my Dad called again and he said he wanted to bring me to the doctor.

I had stomach flu and the doctor advised that both of us stay away from TD, and wear a mask at home.

Apart from the physical whirlpool, I/ we suffered a mental meltdown on Friday evening. MIL was frustrated that we did not cover the food after dinner. Even after I explained that I was very tired from work and forgot, she said "You are always like that, this is very basic." On Saturday, she quoted me out of context and said that I responded to her "I know I know" when she suggested that TD should wear anklet bells at home.

Basically I told her I would ask Irwin and she said "It is not to look good, its functional you know." I replied "I know I know, I will ask Irwin". She basically portrayed me to be very rude to Irwin.

I am glad that Irwin asked me and Sumini what happened, and he found the story to be different from what MIL said..(including the maid story, but I am too tired to write now). Irwin asked MIL why is her story so different from mine and Sumini's. MIL explained it was probably different perspectives. Irwin reminded MIL that in Buddhism there is a lot of emphasis on Body, Speech and Mind, and we cannot be untruthful about facts even if there are different perspectives of who is right or wrong. FIL nodded in agreement. (Apparently MIL was very nice and positive towards Irwin that day)

The Dalai Lama book, How to practise the way to a meaningful life, 2002 says that Harmony cannot thrive in a climate of mistrust, cheating, bullying and mean-spirited competition. Success through intimidation and violence is temporary at best; its trifling gains only create new problems.

Ok, why do I want to write this down? Not that I want to bear grudges, but this indeed has been a rather key event that has happened. Indeed there has been no peace in the family for a while because of mistrust. They think we are overloading the maid, we think they should help out a bit?... how about when we were sick? How about helping when we are both sick? Anyway there are always different perspectives.

My once again wise Dad told me. TD would be very close to me for perhaps another 20 years. Why not concenrate on the joy of bringing him up? Indeed, it will be more worthwhile. With that, I look forward to embracing more joyful days ahead.

2011-04-06T22:16:00.003+09:00

First Walk at the Botanic Gardens

Short of one day to one-year-old, Daddy and Mummy brought TD for a walk at Botanic Gardens. TD loves looking at the birds. In this picture, he was just staring curiously (& seriously) at the birds flying through the sky. He would point at the birds and say 'bird' 'bird'. We brought him back to Botanic for the second and third time. This time, he was not as keen to walk and wanted Mummy to carry him so maybe he can look at more things at a faster pace? Or maybe he was sleepy. Still, we know that he enjoyed being outdoors.

At one year, TD can now say 'bird', his favourite 'bear' due to the book "Little Polar Bear", 'four', 'pray', tries to mimick the word 'button'; 'day' whenever I sing the song 'the wheels on the bus..all day long'. When I pray together with him, and chant the Vajarsattva, ..it ends "..hum phet" and he repeats phet in the most cheeky manner, as he now knows the timing. When I chant Sakyamuni, "om muni muni sakyamuni yi soha", he goes mana mana...but he knows how to point at the correct Sakyamuni poster.

Isn't it precious? From only crying when hungry to now trying to express himself.

I have the time to write today as I had high fever for the past two nights. 38.6! Not sure why I have the fever suddenly although I suspect it is a clogged duct. Anyway, the worst part about being sick, is not the sickness itself, but the fact that I stay away from TD in order not to spread anything to him (just in case). To console myself, at least I know that my body is producing antibodies and it will go into his ebm...Get well soon, so that you can play and take care of your Toddler!

2011-03-27T18:37:00.003+09:00

Theodore Turned One on 21 March 2011

After going through 12 months of baby-hood, Theodore is now a toddler. Not only has he graduated from the babyhood status, so has his mummy, as she now needs to gain more new knowledge on dealing with a toodler - be it the diet, or the behavioural.

Looking back, Theodore has been a very reasonable baby. He never really did throw tantrums. If we tell him not to touch certain things, most of the time he gets it. His biggest issue for me is his skin problem. With the bacteria-infected carpets and strong perfume out of the house, it has been under control, i.e. no flare ups. For very hot days however, and if the helper didn't turn on the fan or ventilate the room, he can still get red creases on his arms and legs.

All in all, it is under control. As a toddler now, we bring him swimming, and I try to bring him to an outdoor venue on Sunday evening. The outdoor exposure has a little bit of impact on his skin.

Exploration and fun are more important than having tofu skin, so we are getting used to his red creases.

We just came back from Botanic. Teddy was pointing to the dogs. So much so that this Caucasian man actually pulled his dog over to TD and TD patted it. As we parked at home, we saw a beautiful double rainbow, and we took a family photo. Moments like these create a peaceful mind and heart, and they take the tiredness away (temporarily).

2011-03-18T20:14:00.003+09:00

Back to the Pool

Teddy got back to swimming at about 11 months. We initially went for a trial when he was seven months, but because Daddy wanted to change to a Sunday schedule, we were on the waitlist for weeks, or months. He is wearing the swim wear from Auntie YM who bought it from New Zealand. Teddy is very serious when he goes swimming. He likes to observe other kids, and hardly let out a smile (haha) except for when we play this Humpty Dumpty song, and he goes free fall.

Teddy really loves water. At times, he will protest and cry bitterly when we take him out of the bath. At last week's class, March 13, 2011, David the coach put his head underwater for the first time, and voila he held his breath underwater. He will pull at his ears of course due to the water. There was no choking and no crying. Good job! Daddy and mummy didn't have the opportunity back then to learn swimming and play with water at 11 months!

On a more solemn note..

March 11 2011, Fukushima, Japan and its nuclear plant were badly damaged by Richter 9.0 earthquake and tsunami. At this point there are about 180 personnel working round the clock to cool the plant. Irwin and I have been glued closely to the news, and for myself looking at Facebook, and am glad to know that my friends in Tokyo are okay, although they are coping with shortage of water. I think it is time that countries on nuclear rethink their energy strategy and source. The consequences can be deadly. On the same note, I also rethink the way I use energy, and was more conscious about leaving lights on when I am not in the room.

Tomorrow we are celebrationg Teddy's one year of age at Japanese Assocation, Singapore (JAS). Due to the event in Japan, I called the lady boss of the Donguri Restaurant to check if the celebration there is still ok. She said on the first day the Japanese were a bit more solemn, but from the second day onwards, things have resumed at JAS. I also asked if the 80 helium balloons were okay. She said fine.

For the food, I have cancelled the meguro and unagi last minute, as these come directly from Japan. Singapore's food regulatory body AVA does sample check, and so far its safe from radiation. As there are breastfeeding mums (including myself) at the party, I decided not to take any risk, so there will only be salmon which comes from Norway.

Worked from home today, and took Teddy down to walk around the poolside. He was having a lot of fun kicking while standing up in the pool. The bubble sound made from his kicks made him giggle loudly. The helper there was laughing at him too. He wanted to go into the baby pool but mummy didnt prepare his swim wear as it was meant to be a short walk AROUND the pool only. My point is, my life priority has changed. When I work late, I feel so guilty. Even though I know he will be in 'good hands' with Sumini..well fed.. but I have no wish that my boy grows up mainly with the helper... hence the choice is very clear to me...its my boy now over a career...

2011-02-09T00:18:00.004+09:00

10 reasons to Practise to a Meaningful Life

It's that time of the year again, Lunar New Year celebration on Feb 3, 2011. This year we invited our Guru to our Reunion Dinner. I watched a DVD during the weekend on the Oracle of Dalai Lama. Somehow it gave me inspiration to want to practise more.

1. Anger and Egoism - I have witnessed how these are mischievous troublemakers.

2. If we can develop a warm heart ourselves, we can also transform others.

3. You may be rich, powerful, and well-educated, but without these healthy feelings of kindness and compassion there may be no peace within yourself, no peace within your family - even your children suffer (How to Practise, Dalai Lama) - this is so true!!

4. To achieve a friendly attitude, a warm heart, respect for the rights of others, and concern for their welfare you must train the mind.

5. Be constantly aware of what you are doing with your body and speech! I wish I didn't raise my voice...

6. Refrain from physical and verbal actions that cause harm.

7. Restrain the mind from falling into selfishness, i.e. refrain from self-cherishing.

8. Refrain from physical nonvirtues - killing, stealing and sexual misconduct.

9. Refrain from verbal nonvirtues - lying, divisive talk, harsh speech, and senseless chatter. Guilty.

10. Refrain from mental nonvirtues - covetousness, harmful intent and wrong views.

Trying to get Irwin and myself back into the chanting routine. It does require discipline. We hope do bring Theodore into our prayer session when he is a bit older since burning candles and joss are not good for a baby's lungs and respiratory system. We hope TD will also have the opportunity to embrace Buddhism!

2011-01-11T23:50:00.002+09:00

Fancy Being a Mother?

On Saturday, Theodore attended Kaelyn's three year old birthday party (oops but thats not Kaelyn in the photo). After being a parent, Theodore and us have been invited to four birthday parties so far.

Kids parties these days are awesome. It consists of play activities, organised games, gifts, goodie-bags, decorations, banners, balloons, and fanciful cakes. In 2.5 months time Theodore will be having his one year old party.

But this isn't about his party...its about life as a mother! I guess every mother will know how having a kid really transforms one's life (to the point I no longer recognise myself and my style).

It is not in a negative sense. There is joy - the joy of being invited to kids' parties....lol. The joy of compiling my kid's photo album as I watch him grow so fast. Now, Teddy has reached a stage where he starts to laugh and giggle and he will come towards me and hug me every five minutes while playing.

Now that I am back at work - I heard that he is very well behaved during the day, but starts to be 'manja' whenever I am home. He will whine a little for my attention, and wants me to carry him.

I try to spend as much time as possible with TD out of work. Never mind that my Nine West high heels are collecting spider web in my shoe cabinet - never mind that I don't have time to cut my hair - never mind that I no longer do a weekly face or body scrub - never mind that I no longer do a weekly foot massage - TD slept on top of me after milk just now for 45 minutes before I brought him back to his cot - its moments like this that makes the crazy motherhood all worth it!

2011-01-01T23:40:00.003+09:00

My 2011

Happy New Year. It comes every year doesn't it? Hah, this year we had Sukiyaki at Wai Gong and Wai Po's house.

Irwin brought some sake over, while Mummy bought some really nice beef and kurobuta. I brought Teddy over...haha, this in itself is quite an effort. I get quite tired when I bring Teddy out, but a lot of satisfaction.

Teddy is really adorable. Quite frankly, he is the centre of attraction for family gatherings. I can't quite imagine time without Teddy (but maybe more quality time to myself haha).

2011. Today Irwin and I went to Great World to do our (or rather Teddy's) groceries. I was rather amazed at the egg range. There is organic, there's kampung free range, and there's Omega plus or Vitamin E plus... After contemplation, we decided to go for organic eggs so that we can limit pesticides residues at this age. Thereafter, I grabbed the same weekly groceries, fish, pork, broccoli, pumpkin, sweet potato. Looking at our trolley versus the others, I felt we had a really healthy selection haha... but thats because its baby food.

When I came home from the supermarket, I pumped milk, and then went on to puree parsnips + Sweet Potato. Frankly, parsnips has a rather interesting/ weird smell to me. I hope Teddy likes it, but I would rather he be exposed to as many different flavours than to overprotect his tastebuds. So far, he has been an easy and sensible eater. I gave him blended broccoli + cauliflower, and he ate them quite quickly... of course if there was a sweet touch, for example if I blended in apple, he would take half the time, for example 15 mins to finish the meal.

So there you go, this post is supposed to be about 2011, and I think the above says it all. My thoughts are all about Teddy...and I guess it will stay this way... ;)

2010-12-26T23:37:00.005+09:00

The psychology of finance

Yes its Christmas. It really shouldn't be about money. It is the season of loving, giving and supporting - be it with the humans or the animals.

Why this cold-hearted post post-Christmas? Bobby is currently being housed at $900 a month. MIL feels that that this is too expensive and Bobby should be put up for adoption instead. It is no small sum but Bobby is really aged now and we wonder whether there is any logic behind re-housing him again at his age.

Money money... there's monthly insurance, helper's pay, TD's expenses, meals, saving up for a house. $900 a month vs relocating a heart-broken old dog from home to home to home to home?

To me, it is really quite expensive to have a child. From the delivery, to the pd, to the baby equipment to the insurance...

Luckily, looking at TD always puts a smile to my face. Fantastic. Still, I have to re-emphasize on the importance of saving. I remember meeting Uncle Lionel who reminded Irwin and myself to save up to $1million first before splurging in life..working towards it!

2010-12-05T22:21:00.003+09:00

In a Bean Bag

We went to Dhiren's house to celebrate his birthday, and his going-away trip to Germany. So Dhiren told us to bring Theodore - and TD had a splashing good time interacting with two other toddlers.

I have been thinking about moving out from my in-laws place for a while. Irwin sometimes feel so, and at times didn't feel so. At times, Irwin told me to start looking for a place. At times, he stated he preferred to stay with his parents.

Anyhow, it was somehow decided. We conveyed our thoughts on Saturday morning. They seem agreeable...

2010-11-21T22:37:00.003+09:00

Theodore is eight months old, and I am getting ooh so busy

Theodore is eight months old. Weekdays - its work. Weekday evenings - its Theodore. Weekends - its Theodore.

Theodore is very vocal and curious now. He is 'talking' most of the time and yesterday he said 'bah bah bah bah'.

He even makes funny faces now. Apparently he started doing so after attending a kids birthday party.

I am sure he is a happy child. From my perspective, so am I happy to see him grow and grin when he sees me.

But ehhh I am so tired. We have to buy fresh ingredients for him weekly, and I puree them in advance on the weekend. I love him, but you know sometimes, you never get a break. Even if I go for a monthly facial now, I think of him while lying on the bed.

There is really a lot of work involved when having a child. Especially when you dont want to leave him in the total hands of a outsider.

Ooh haha, but I must admit we did mess up his solids a little. We decided to puree lamb and sweet potato for him. It was too heaty for him. Currently we are trying peas - I hope it is ok at eight months. Our pd recommended that each new food should be introduced for a period of seven days to test for allergy. We have decided to go for the four day rule instead... its really quite troublesome and it must be boring aint it to eat the same for seven days? But luckily we observed the four day rule, as TD showed signs of allergy to the lamb after the second day (though he really enjoyed it). We took it off his diet and he was then fine. During our parents time, they didnt go by four or seven days rule, and we survived...why are things more complex these days?

2010-11-14T00:09:00.003+09:00

From celebration..to a hectic work week.. to an angry weekend..to realisation...

We celebrated Elton's one year old birthday at Four Seasons. Theodore had great fun and completely forgot about milk until about an hour later. He played and played, and then finally called for milk, and then knocked out.

I went back to the office to help my father this week. So much has changed in the firm. I started a schedule of feeding Teddy at 6am, pumping milk at 6:30am, again during lunch time and rushing off at 4pm to come home (pump again), or feed him if I come back in time. Then I will prepare his solids and feed him. It does sound like a crazy schedule, but wouldnt be possible without the support of my family. I have to sleep at 10pm daily in order to keep up with this..but hah so far I have not found the discipline, especially when Irwin comes home late from work.

Anger. Why. So, the carpets came back after a second wash. The plan was no carpets are allowed to be opened till TD recovers 100% fully. In-laws decided that they would like to open one as they are hosting guests. We had to convince them again not to..why take the risk when we have already put in so much effort to get rid of the allergens. The carpets were not rolled out, but TD's eczema came back just because the carpets were in the house. TD's skin is fine when exposed to carpets in my mum's house, at Four Seasons, and another friend's house..so we concluded that the home carpets can never be rid of Bobby's dander.

In laws were not entirely convinced its the carpets, and asked me to try Oil of Ulan on the baby.. I said 'No'. Then they decided that sometimes allergens will simply disappear and asked us to wait out a few days. That night, I cracked down.. I sobbed. There is no way I can sit back and watch my kid's skin deteriorate. Anyhow, we convinced them to shift those carpets out to a storage place. They agreed, and I couldn't be more relieved.

So, TD's skin had a flare up on Wednesday. Today, MIL used a lot of perfume. The perfume filled the entire house. I wonder why she decided to use so much today? She went to TD's door and said 'Sorry I cannot come in since I just used a lot of perfume'. Shortly after she closed the door, TD was scratching and crying. We quickly bath him but he was still scratching. As I watched my baby's skin getter redder and redder, and a bigger surface area than before - and more steroid all over the body...it really made me fumed. From anger, again I sobbed.

I called my Dad, brother and sms my Mum who is overseas..and told them I would like to move home till TD recovers. Obviously this is not the right environment for TD since TD never had a single flare up for the month we were there. There were a few call exchanges between Dad, Irwin and myself. The gist was, we should try to solve it as a family instead of shifting back.

Desi Lama, currently my FB friend wrote, "please don't attach too much in this world as pit of fire. we can't librate without renunciate this world. great indian and tibtan master told us very importand is renunciation." I wonder if he just read my FB status. Renunciation. I felt calmer.

I then went into the baby's room. Irwin, Sumini and I played with him for a good 20mins and laughed a lot just by looking at his kicking and jumping actions..that took all the pain & sadness away...

2010-11-05T19:59:00.004+09:00

The Happy Baby

Its going to be a busy week. Tomorrow, Theodore will have his first try at swimming in a real pool. Baby Joshua will be there too. Fingers crossed that the eczema will stay in check since swimming can further dry the skin. He needs to be showered quickly after the swim as chlorine is drying for the skin.

After that Theodore has to attend Elton's first year old party at Four Seasons Hotel. On Sunday, he will attend Charlotte's four years old birthday party.

Oh yea, so he is very happy, and we are very busy. Irwin and I always joke about how we are 'confirmed parents' as our schedule now revolves around him, only. On Sunday I will buy some fresh peas to cook for him - oh yes, and to grab some diapers too...

2010-11-04T00:06:00.003+09:00

I like to do Push Ups!

Theodores likes to get into this position. In the evening, when TD plays on Wai Po's bed, he likes to crawl, or attempt to crawl. He frequently gets into a push up positon! Not sure whether it is because he is very strong, or he is just confused...haha

Lets see - since returning home, his eczema is improving, but so sloowly... am tempted to move back to Wai Po's house where he gains quick recovery, but realised this can't be a long term solution! So we used Dettol to mop and clean the house again. Hmm didnt work as well. We then tried a Dettol air spray which apparently kills even the H1N1 virus! Ok, he is now on the road to recovery, but so sloowly.... he needs Wai Po's love..hahaha

More food for the chomper:

Puree Pumpkin... and currently

Blended Pear! Pears turn brown so quickly. I sliced up 2.5 pears this morning (very quickly) and then used the blender. By the time I freeze them, they were all brown (hopefully still very nutritious). Hah, many new things to learn..including the pears..

2010-10-29T19:55:00.005+09:00

Teddy at Wai Po's House

Oo, more pictures of Teddy at Wai Po's House. This time we see Teddy enjoying an Indonesia nursery rhyme as he was being rocked. Daily, he enjoyed staring out of the window and looking at the poolside trees.

In the last picture, TD was looking busy as Wai Po and I tried to keep him very occupied while we tuck in dinner quickly..hahahaha

TD just had an eczema flare up. Thanks to the carpets that were reintroduced into the house after professional cleaning. I thought the carpets still had Bobby's smell when they came back. After the flare up, the carpets were sent back for further cleaning. This time they are doing it FOC. Obviously, they didnt do a fantastic job...since it is FOC, no one can complain!

2010-10-26T23:27:00.003+09:00

What A Trip...

Whoa guess what happened for the past one month? Hah, Theodore and I stayed with my parents for a month in a fight against eczema.

So it turns out that Theodore is sensitive to Bobby. We attempted to shift back home after 10 days when TD's skin looked recovered, and Bobby's too.

Within less than 24 hours, TD's eczema flared up. Irwin and I quickly packed our luggages and moved back to my parent's.

Hah, I did the night duty by myself. Nursing him in the night, cleaning his face with a cotton ball, and attempts to slap on moisturisers when he is asleep; diaper changes. There are times where I hold it in myself as I did not want to leave him alone on the bed.

I have to thank my family for hosting me! My brother had to give up his bed and room for us. My mum planned my meals and helped me took care and entertained TD in the evenings. This is the magic of family. Hah at this point, I never thought that I would have the opportunity to stay in the house I grew up in for a month!

TD came back on Sunday with perfect skin. Hmm, however it seems that after a day or two he developed saliva rash. In-laws allowed TD to crawl and rub his face on the sofa. When I went back, there were drools of saliva on the leather sofa....eeeks....

So now he has saliva rash, but I am glad that the eczema is gone. This is at the expense of relocating Bobby who is 12.5 years old. So sad, but it has to be done....

TD has also started solids for about a month now - here's the list in order

Puree Organic Sweet Potato

Mashed Banana with ebm

Organic Carrot puree - steam, blended and mixed with ebm

Happy Bellies Organic Oatmeal cereal

Organic short grain brown rice with sweet potato

Avocado

Pork Porridge

I have to say, for a lady who does not cook, I have enjoyed planning and preparing his solids!

2010-09-27T23:40:00.002+09:00

Mummy's Fight with Eczema

Oh yeah, I turned 31. This year I blew the candle with a baby in my hands.

Did I feel priviledged? In a way yes. Although this was the first time where I had to celebrate my birthday, and at the same time had to coax Theodore. Hmm, I was so busy and tired that day I didn't feed him before heading out. I was so hungry when I reached Roberson Quay that I gave up my plan of feeding him in the car before heading down.

I have not been to Bellapizza for a while. Somehow the place is now rather warm, very crowd and noisy, so I say it is not that suitable for a mum who would prefer a more calming ambience for a cranky and active baby.

I fed Theodore at the restaurant twice. Due to the noise he was easily distracted. Due to the heat, he kept rubbing his neck and ears. I don't think I would go back to Bellapizza again with a baby. Bella pasta for sure!

Theodore was diagnosed with eczema since three weeks old. Right now, I am fighting a battle against it as I am not that keen to constantly use the quick fix solution of steroid. Most pds have advised that it is important to identify the allergen otherwise it is steriod. I have tried cetaphil, physiogel as recommended but none of which works. Once I stop putting the steroid, the eczema comes back. I guess it is time to get to the root of the problem.

Right now, high on the suspect list is Bobby. I read through my pd's notes and it says be careful of dog's hair. That was then I realised that Bobby has a skin condition - pink patches with red sores. I asked Irwin to bring Bobby to the vet who confirmed that his skin condition can spread to children and definitely babies due to their low resistance.

Bobby has been on antibiotics, and steroid medication too. We are even changing his food to hypoallergenic in a hope to cure him. This is Bobby's second dose of antibiotics. Once his antibiotic finishes, his skin problem comes back. Coincidentally, Theodore's eczema would flare up.

Big step big decision. I have decided to shift back to my mum's home...tomorrow! I guess this is the only way to find out if the allergen is Bobby. It feels quite sad in a way, since Bobby is also loved in the family. We have bought a dog barrier and segregated the areas where Bobby is allowed. This week my in-laws are in Japan. It is probably the best opportunity to bring Theodore to a no-dog environment to try out too.

Today, I packed my steriliser, pump, milk bottles, his bathtub, his oil, diapers, bumbo seat, toys, bottle detergent...etc etc you name it, we got it! haha..to prepare for the big move tomorrow. I feel a bit of fear - as I am not sure if this is the right approach. I will be sleeping alone with Teddy at my mum's place. I hope I will handle well. Fear is a state of the mind as Dalai Lama puts it. I know I have to try this. Good luck mummy!

2010-09-20T15:37:00.002+09:00

Sitting for solids

Time flies, from just lying on his back, to flipping, to trying to crawl, he is now seated on his very own high chair, and about to have his first taste of solids. For a six month old, that is a big deal since he has been swallowing liquid only so far... Theodore loves to eat. However much I fed him, he will want more. The pd said only 1/2 teaspoon for a start... it has been a conflict in my mind since TD obviously can stomach more. So slowly day by day, as long as there is no sign of allergy, I give him a teaspoon more.

I have been reading the internet on how much to feed. Some say not more than a teaspoon as the main nutrition is still milk. I found a website that says 4-5 tablespoons, or feed as much as you want. I guess thats the point with baby led weaning? Anyhow, still trying to find the right balance. Will speak with pd end of the month to understand better.

At the dinning table, I am questioned by the in-laws. 1 teaspoon only? 1 teaspoon only? Feed slower, so that he can enjoy each scoop; Put in more water so he doesnt have to tilt his back so much. As I introduce water to TD, I said "Water, water" and I hear him trying to pronounce it. MIL nervously and quickly said "Drink water, drink water"... "Theodore drink water"..(hello the grammer is wrong)... My every move is being corrected. I have put in a lot of effort since TD was born..yet I feel MIL trying to show me that everything I do is wrong. She even questions if there's a hole in the teat of the cup I recently bought...Hello, didnt you see the water streaming out of his mouth yesterday?

Been thinking and pondering... is it time for Irwin and I to move out? It has been on my mind lately. Yet Irwin feels that the in-laws need us at this point. If we cannot get along, are we supposed to pretend that everything is fine, and lead on a daily life like this? Sometimes I dont take it personal. It seems like MIL just likes to talk to her own kids like that too. It seems like she has a ego and likes to put, even her own kids down sometimes. I wasn't brought up like this and I am not used to this style.

Don't get me wrong. I am not being ungrateful here. I know that every comfort here is provided for, and I lead a rather stress free life in terms of home management. But it just seems to be getting ugly. I thought of staying put because I think this is the best outcome for Theodore, as I dont want to leave TD alone with a helper at home only. But there is too much unhappiness... Will I be in luck to be guided to the right path? He is my kid, and I want to bring him up the way I want to.

MIL likes to call Teddy the RTC boy, as we have been going to RTC every weekend with Teddy. We agreed right from the beginning that we want Teddy to grow up to be humble. Irwin and I now have a bet, if MIL calls TD RTC boy again, I win a $100!..jokes aside, what do I need to do just that it is win-win for all? particulary Teddy boy...... ;(

2010-08-25T17:40:00.003+09:00

He is five months old...

Yep, whenever I feel down, I take a peek at him and I feel a lot more better. I used to wonder why mummies like to use their kids' photos as the Facebook profile picture or their mobile wallpaper. Now, I know why its their favourites. Theodore now dominates my FB picture and cellphone wallpaper.

Motherhood. Sometimes I like to read my friend's friend's blog. Its titled 'Motherhood is not for wimps'. Indeed it isn't. Especially for a first time mum, where you basically start from zero knowledge. I didn't quite have anyone to rely on. The nanny did not turn out to be as experienced as everyone praised her to me. MIL clearly has no ability to take care of a baby now. So is my mum who is busy with her own work. Thus, there is a lot of last minute reading and learning...and its just non-stop. Soon Theodore would be going onto solids, and it would be a whole new ball game for me to understand and learn. At times, it can feel stressful..hence the need for friends, online resources, books, a nice religion. I realised I have not felt at peace for some time... I wonder if I am feeling burnt out. Even a facial did not seem to rejuvenate me. Yes, my last real travel was two years ago..thats totally not me...yet at this point, I know better that my decisions are no longer based on my wants.

Yesterday mum and bro were kind enough to take Teddy and myself out for dinner. Teddy was shouting and showed excitment as he watched me pack the baby bag lol... He knows. At five months, he has gained better awareness. At home, he likes to shout and play with his vocals...

I need an energy booster. True Yoga has been calling me for free trials which I am so tempted, but yet I don't want to leave the baby alone at home. I need motivation. I need to know that I am doing A-ok as a mum, and that I am giving and providing Teddy with the best that he can possibly have - be it love, care, attention, trust, respect and kindness...

2010-08-03T20:40:00.004+09:00

The blessed boy who is making his parents ooh so busy...

I have to admit it is extremely busy being a parent.

The blessed boy is growing, and for a new mum there is really a lot of reading and learning to do.

I put aside one day per week for baby reading.

Luckily a lot of my girlfriends are going through the same phase. Feels better to know that I am not alone and that I am not the only crazy person out there.

During the weekend, we brought Theodore for his third swim, followed by brunch. During the past two weekends we go for Sunday brunch, very much because it usually stretches as a three hour meal. In between the three hours I typically have to feed him and then let him sleep on the pram.

Last Sunday we went to Raffles Town Club. They did not have a nursing room, but were kind enough to extend one of the private dining rooms. They turned on the light and air-conditioning so that I could nurse him in private.

Ooh I am so hungry now. Had porridge for lunch. Did you know you only require 200 extra calories when pregnant (that equates to half a burger); and 500 extra calories if breastfeeding? No wonder I still can't fit into all of my old wardrobe. So what if I can? I still need to wear a nursing top when I go out with Teddy... fashion down the drain...for now...

2010-07-27T23:32:00.008+09:00

Theodore's Second Swim

Jul 24, 2010. We brought Theodore for his second swim at baby spa. This time together with Baby Joshua.

What wouldn't change, would be how Theodore would knock out after some milk. On his second attempt, he swam for 30 minutes.

Irwin and I always joke about how we are Really parents now. We have a weekly routine of bringing Theodore to his swimming sessions; and getting him to join us for brunch if the environment is suitable, i.e. not overly crowded and air conditioned... yes this boy breaks out in heat rash easily.

So tired now. Had to follow up with some office's matters, and was reading online furiously about baby's poop patterns. Would I be able to handle both work and family appropriately? I only made a few calls today and already I am having a headache. Am I really going to devote myself to family only? The scary thing is during dinner two days ago my father-in-law said 'Yes you should be taking unpaid leave for the next three months to take care of Jun Rong. Don't forget he is priority.' He further said that 'Don't forget you will probably have a second child and then you need to re-prioritise again.' Gulp, I still can't forget the days when I had to hug the toilet bowl about four times a day; how I had to walk slowly from kitchen to bedroom in order to prevent puking; how toothpaste, perfume and Bobby's food make me either vomit or felt like vomiting... *puke puke* now I feel nausea.

2010-07-23T16:11:00.007+09:00

Theodore hits the water

On July 18, 2010 when Theodore was 3 months and 27 days old, we decided to bring him to baby spa to try swimming. We suspected that he would love it since he loves using his legs a lot. While placed on the play mat, he prefers to kick rather than bat the hanging toys with his hands.

It was a fun experience as we watched him warm up, and then put into a neck float that looks like a strangling device. This place is called Baby Spa and he can swim, have a massage, haircut or have his parents shop there for him.

Theodore lasted 20 minutes for his first attempt, but of course it was also thanks to the staff there who massaged him while he became a little tired. He naturally kicked around, and turned round and round without any coaching. I supposed some babies would naturally know how to move around into water, although I saw some wailing while palaced into the water.

Tomorrow we are bringing him for his second swim, and am excited to see what new tricks he can come up with, although I think his actions might be restricted within the tub.

2010-07-09T15:55:00.006+09:00

Theodore at three months old

Theodore is now three months old. Mummy's role has basically been to cater to his milk and nutritional needs, read up on baby care and to see to his developmental milestones. I read up frequently from babycentre.com which sends me emails week by week providing useful information on baby's development. I also bought a What to expect in the first year to gain a better understanding of taking care of a baby (for the first time!).

Starting to move around in cot

In the picture below, we placed him parallel to the cot. Within minutes, he has shifted himself, using energy from his legs, butt and stomach so he could have a better view of his musical mobile. That happened on July 2 when he was 3 months and 12 days old. We had a good laugh as we witnessed this new capabilities as he could only lay on his back with no shifting movements previously.

It may sound like child's play. To a new mother however, this brings a big smile to see her child acquiring new movements and capabilities.

Another significant activity Theodore loves is to look at Daddy's and Mummy's lips, and he tries to mimick our mouth movements and sound. When Theodore was two months old, I repeatedly say "Hello" to Theodore when I realised him looking at my lips with focus, and a slight frown on his eyebrows. I guess the frown means concentration. At two months, he blurted out his first Hello. Irwin and I stared at each other in shock, a little freaked out, and the hair on my arms stood on ends.

After that we reminded ourselves, no we shouldn't be reacting this way. We should feel happy or clap to show that Theodore is doing the right thing. Otherwise he might misinterpret our shock reactions and not want to continue learning that way.

At 3 months 18 days now, he can blurt out 'Hello, I Love You, Milk'. When Daddy and Mummy was singing to him on July 7, he started to sing or hum along too.

That is one talkative, sociable and vocal baby.

2010-07-01T17:21:00.004+09:00

Bye Bye Dahlia

This week has been more busy. Why so? We sacked one helper. I have always found her to be pretenious. She is well behaved and well mannered when my in-laws are around, but a total punk when they are not.

As I have not been having enough sleep and rest, I got fed up one morning when she replied 'Yeah' in a rather rude manner. I told Irwin who came home to question and scold her. She shouted back. Thats it, we decided that since she did not treasure this employment opportunity, she has to go.

We kept her in the kitchen area, kept all the knives away, and took out our tennis racket and put them in some corners (just in case ;). By 4pm, my in-laws came home and we made her pack and sent her back to the agent.

She appeared non-chalent and said she wanted to go home already. Till today I wonder if she meant what she said. To us, it was simply getting another helper. To her, she lost her rice-bowl, her employment and would be sent back to Indonesia. She would be facing her family who has been pressing her to send money home (according to her). At the same time that she told us her family is pressing her for money and she wanted advances from us, we discovered that she has bought a gold necklace, a handbag, and a mobile. Errh, she doesn't even take off-days and only steps out of the house to walk Bobby daily.

Now that she has been sent home, we discovered more. She has 'borrowed' $28 from our housekeeping money, and borrowed a total of $76 from our neighbours' helpers.

Funny enough, with one hand less to help out, we all felt relieved, including my in-laws. It was stressful managing her although we always try to defend her saying that its her background hence her mentality...

We would get a part-time helper instead. To have two live-in helpers in our house felt a little intolerable. Plus only Theodore and I are always home, I always felt out-numbered...haha... It was tough this week, but it just gives me more opportunity to be closer to Teddy..never mind that sleep would never be adequate...

2010-06-28T13:35:00.005+09:00

There's No Greater Worry Than When Your Baby Falls Sick

Theodore came down with a fever of 39.3 on June 18 2010. His hands were slightly purplish and cold when we discovered so. I called Irwin immediately. Luckily he was at Great World City at that moment which was relatively nearer to our home as compared to his workplace. He didn't drive then, but took a cab home and picked us up to go to the pediatrician.

As this was the first time Theodore had fallen ill, as parents we were rather helpless but listened attentively to the pd's advice. 1ml of Panadol; hourly temperature taking and recording; if temperature goes beyond 38, one round of cold sponge bath; if temperature goes beyond 39, two rounds of cold sponge bath. Theodore's temperature came down after 1ml of panadol. After six hourly though, the fever came back.

On June 19 8am, Theodore's temperature was back at 38. Without hesitation, Irwin made the call to check him into the hospital.

The hospital's policy was that if the baby was 3 months old, he could be adminstered medication, and need not be hospitalised. As Theodore was 2 months and 28 days old, he had to be hospitalised, and discharged only if he was fever free for 24 hours.

Hence, we began the three days hospital stay, with Irwin and I staying 24 hours with Theodore (apart for three hours where we would go home to shower and take a one hour nap). The blessings in disguise was that this incident has brought Theodore, Daddy and Mummy closer together as a family.

2010-06-04T23:04:00.002+09:00

2 Months 1 Week Old - My Baby

That Sunday, the nanny was taking her off-day. So Irwin and I handled Theodore all by ourselves.

We did pretty well, except that we are not skilled at helping Theodore sleep. Irwin is very good at playing and getting Theodore all excited. For me, of course its the feeding and stimulating his next developmental milestone.

So, we couldn't quite get him to sleep, but we sure supplied him with lots of fun. But you know, its actually a skill and it requires patience (apparently 15 - 20 mins) to help a baby sleep. We didnt quite achieve it. Irwin tries for 5 mins, and when it didn't work - its playtime! Ha, the only time Theodore slept was when we put him in a baby carrier and walked around the estate downstairs. New parents - so naturally we are learning!

2010-06-01T19:56:00.003+09:00

Not planned for, but we love you

Closer friends may know that baby Theodore wasn't planned for. Irwin and I were rather surprised the moment we realised so. I bought one pregnancy test kit, and despite it being positive, I bought another one to check again. Still, with both kits being positive, I wasn't sure and I wanted to wait till the gynae confirms through an ultrascan.

Now, I am a happy mum. Thinking back, the pregnancy in the first four months especially was a roller coaster ride. Hello, vomiting few times a day. I didn't even brush my teeth for periods of time as the toothpaste makes me nausea.

Now, I have a bundle of joy in my arms. Theodore is starting to smile and laugh frequently and that really makes my day. I also enjoying watching him and his developmental milestone. On 2 months 6 days, Theodore blurted out a "Hello" as I said it repeatedly. Irwin and I were in shock and our hair stood on end. No one would expect that at a two month point.

Theodore is also quite skilled with his musical mobile now - such a joy to watch him get all excited and trying to hit the rotating soft toys. Sometimes, he stares at the smiley faces and smiles to himself. Today, I put him on his tummy and he pushed himself to his side - thats another first..

In my prayer session everyday (or every other day..hehe), I pray for a happy and perfectly healthy individual. So far my prayers have been answered, and may he and all other sentient beings continue that way...

2010-05-30T23:16:00.004+09:00

The active boy

Playtime on May 23 2010

2 months and 2 days old

Teddy can play on his own. That makes taking care of him (hee) easier.

On Vesak day, we decided not to bring Teddy to Lama Shifu's place for prayers. Reason being, there would be many people, and hee we were afraid that people would not wash their hands with soap before touching Teddy.

Yes sorry for being sticky with this. To me, Teddy is a newborn, and I do not wish that he catches any germs. I know that when he falls sick, it falls back mainly on the nanny and myself. There would probably be family pressure to make sure he gets well quickly. This can be stressful. Hence, the protective gear I have set up so far...

2010-05-26T00:12:00.003+09:00

When Papa is not around...

Well the above video has nothing to do with Irwin, except for the fact that he took this video. Reason for the title is that..yes he is not around! He is currently at reservist - ok I just received his good night call. I feel pleased that after knowing him for seven years, I can still miss him after him being away for a day. Having a baby has brought us even closer - from attending the antenatal classes together on Sundays, making purchases at the Takashimaya Baby Fair, being with me and encouraging me at the labour ward, to us struggling together as new parents to take care of Theodore who cried almost the entire night on the first night we brought him home.. I am sure there are more memorable moments to share...

2010-05-24T00:13:00.003+09:00

Busy days..& weekends..

Well, since the arrival of Teddy, being busy and having to wake up at 4am daily has become the norm.

He currently takes an average of eight feeds per 24 hours cycle, and when expressed into bottle at 120ml.

This dictates my schedule as I will be feeding him approximately at three hours interval.

Boring as it may be for the readers, here's my new lifestyle and routine

12am. Last pump before going to bed
4am. Wake up to express (usually read up online on baby care & development)
8am. Feed Teddy direct, and express what was not consumed
9am. Breakfast; check emails; letters; administration (for example Teddy's insurance, financials, and stemcord Giro application, liquidating some of Irwin's and my investments)
11am. Feed Teddy; sing and chat with him
12pm. Lunch, look after Teddy
2pm. Feed Teddy and shower

3pm. Nap time!
5pm. Feed Teddy; prayers (sometimes I bring Teddy in) & playtime with him
7pm My dinner, look after Teddy
930pm. Feed Teddy (this is usually a loong one hour session; and he can crank up and cry here..I think he is either tired to suckle or he wants me as a human pacifier - anyhow I dont really allow that, so as he cries, I pat him to bed)
11pm. Watch Fraiser or Seinfeld for a good laugh with Irwin
12pm. Last pump

Now you know the truth about my daily schedule.

2010-05-18T22:41:00.003+09:00

Thoughts on Becoming a Mum

As Theodore is 1 month, 3 weeks and 6 days old today, so have I become a mummy for 37 days. With no prior experience with a baby (but of course), Irwin and I attended antenatal classes back in December 2009, together with Stella and Alvin whose baby Joshua is four days younger than Theodore.

What we have learned from the course has proven to be very useful. At least it helps us to combat the many opinions from the well-wishers, some of which do not make hygiene sense. In addition to that, I frequently have to research on the internet too on tips and advice. With the good fortune of friends who already have babies, they have become key practical guidance too.

So far Theodore has been a joy. Apart from his skin rash initially, there is nothing we really need to worry about. I focus on feeding him, playing and stimulating his sense of development. The nanny focuses on baths and putting him to sleep. The grandparents carry and speak to him daily.

Common Issue

In my earlier post I mentioned issues with my MIL. I realised I am not alone.

Some ridiculous scenarios my friends do experience include:

if the baby has constipation, the MIL blames it on what the mum eats. But hey, wasn't the confinement food cooked by MIL? Oh yes, she forgot - so MIL blames it on the food mum consumed while pregnant
Baby's stools are supposed to be loose, textured, sometimes seeming grainy or curdled. MIL insists that baby is having diarrhea despite paedi. confirming that it is not.

Some of my own experience includes:

I was having fever and chill. MIL becomes suspicious daily that I have spread the sickness to baby. She did not realise that if mum breastfeeds while sick, the body actually generates antibodies and goes into the breast milk which is even better for the baby.
MIL insists that baby's nose is stuffy and stuck based on the breathing noise. I say thats because his nostrils are not clean. MIL checks his nostrils along the dark corridor and say No his nostrils are clean. So I say, how do you check when there is no light? I brought Theodore to the sunlight and gave her a status update on his nostrils.

Its tiring. I think its ego and home politics. After all, MIL is used to being the queen of the family. But now, with regard to Theodore I insist on my ways based on what I learn and read. Anyhow I am tired of the long battle since bringing Theodore home from Gleneagles.

I have decided to focus my joy on Theodore, my hubby and building my family. You shall not get me down!

2010-05-06T17:13:00.004+09:00

The Drama with Theodore's skin

Here, Baby Theodore is 1 month 1 week old.

I think when you have a baby, at times you would LOVE it; at times it might just get you down.

We have been rather busy as Baby Theodore has developed eczema on his cheeks.

To the paeditrician and some of my close friends, this is not puzzling - it is very common among babies.

My mother-in-law and the nanny insisted this was milk rash and have been over-cleaning his cheeks (which could have made it worse). This was despite me telling them that the first paedi. has mentioned it was not milk rash. When I was required to repeat it for the 7th time, I lost my temper, and for the first time in my life, I raised my voice at my MIL, although also explaning that if we keep focusing on the wrong type of rash, we would be giving the wrong treatment to him.

At the end of one week, as it has deteriorated, sickening enough, my mil wanted me to use boiled green bean water to treat one of his cheeks, and my nanny suggested that I apply my saliva on his face right after his milk feed. After one week of battling with the family, I actually gave in and decided to try these primitive methods. Sickening to think about it - yes I applied my saliva. Luckily I didn't listen to their suggestions fully, and only did so for his chin. It got worse. So, I say, thats it, no more experimenting, I am going to bring him to see a second paedi.

Right now, Theodore is recovering well and I am happy about it.

2010-04-25T22:30:00.003+09:00

Theodore and His Development

On Saturday, I went for my one month check-up with the gynae; and at the same time brought Theodore for his one month check-up with the paediatrician. One of the developmental checklist which focuses on fine motor-adaptive skills was "When the child is on his back, he can follow the movement of an object, from one side to facing directly forwards." I replied "Yes", and luckily it was because on Day 28, I saw Theodore staring at the smiley flower, and I moved the flower from side to side, and voila, his sight can now follow an object.

On April 18, we also held a celebration for Theodore's full month. Mum made about 120 red eggs which we gave out during the celebration. Thank you :)

2010-04-06T22:23:00.002+09:00

CONFINEMENT: Right In the Middle of It

With the birth of Theodore - apart from attending to his growth & needs, another being that requires care is the mother. Yes I am currently right in the middle of the confinement period.

There are a lot of practices which I was trying to figure out if they are merely myths or fact.

We didn't engage a confinement nanny. Having another stranger in our house for a month was not something we could tolerate.

Plus & minuses.

Well, things were not running as smoothly as I wanted to initially. No sleep for the first night. Badly coordinated timing between the lunch and the bath time & the temperature of the boiled herbal water. (Apparently, you cannot shower on an empty stomach, so I have to shower almost immediately after lunch - but of course the schedule can be messed up by the wrong temperate of the boiled water - hello how to shower at 50 degrees?; and Theodore being hungry on a on-demand basis)

So my days now are, although a schedule has started to form, mainly pumping milk at 6am (yes I don't need an alarm clock anymore. The milk can be so full, you will wake up naturally), going back to bed, wake up at 8am to feed Theodore, do some administrative work (for now, arranging guest list for Theodore's First month party; trying to make claims from Singpost/ DHL for non-delivery of item etc), lunch, shower, feed Theodore, massage, feed Theodore, Aunty Jup came to visit on her birthday, nap, dinner, feed Theodore...and voila some 'me' time....before the next feeding & pumping.

Oh yes, my mum-in-law has started to ask me to drink a shot of DOM before going to bed. I was reluctant at first as many of my friends didn't like it. Surprise, surprise, having kept away from alcohol for nine months...hmmmm DOM is superb. Looking forward to my next shot later.

From the chaotic first week, yes, its getting better. At least Sumini can help me with the showering, diaper change and change of clothes. Imagine having to perform everything during confinement. My back and neck are already in pain due to the feeding and pumping. You know you have to keep your eyes down since I am not so experienced yet. Despite the many tasks, knowing that Theodore is well-taken care of and that he is happy - thats all it matters. He had slight rash on his neck a few days ago. Didn't know whether it was due to milk, or heat or hormonal. Still, I got a little worried. Luckily Sumini suggested J&J baby powder. I was a little reluctant at first - but hey it works - its disappearing. Good thing is he does not appear to have any discomfort from the mild rash. Nevertheless, Theodore seems to be starting to show emotions or temper. When he doesn't get his milk promptly or when he is being wiped down with water - his face turns red & grumpy. He is starting to turn on his sides too, although suceeding only at a halfway mark. Hmmm...

2010-04-03T18:32:00.003+09:00

Theodore reaches 13 day old, as we plan for first month birthday

As I write, Theodore is 13 days old. Based on the gynae's EDD, as of today, he is not supposed to be out yet. Still, these past two weeks have been filled with such joy in the household.

Oh yes, we have to plan for Theodore's first month birthday party -- tentatively it would be held on April 18, 2010, Sunday brunch. We are still looking at two potential venues to celebrate the occasion. Initially we wanted to hold it at home, but looking at the guests list it may not be practicable - hence the hunt for a suitable venue by my in-laws and hubby. This Sunday, they would be going for food tasting..while I rest at home and wait for Grandpa and Grandma Choong to visit.

2010-03-29T22:07:00.003+09:00

He Is Here

Baby Theodore Wei made his entrance on 21 March 2010. I remember it was about 3:30am when I realised that the waterbag has burst, together with "show". At that time, Mr Gui just returned from his late night work and was showering. We couldn't quite believe it, as the EDD was supposed to be early April. He was laughing "This is it!", whereas I went "Goodness, I still want two more weeks of quiet time!"

Truth was we were not quite prepared. Mr Gui nagged me to finish packing the hospital bag, and I completed it only on the 20th - phew, just in time. Our nanny from Indonesia wasn't due to arrive till March 26th.

To-date, Theodore is eight days old. Yes, I am blogging, which means slowly I am getting back to a slightly more normal schedule now. The first day home with Theodore was crazy. Gui and I had no sleep. Theodore either wanted to drink milk or be cuddled, which was normal. The only time I managed to catch an hour was when he fell asleep on my stomach. Second night, we decided to engage a nurse to handle the night duty. She would wake me up at 3am and 6am for his milk feeding. Third night on, I started to pump milk into bottles so that the nurse could feed in the night. Thats how I managed to regain a little bit more of "me" time. Despite the challenges and serious lack of sleep and help, Gui and I are grateful as we learned a lot from the nurse before Sumini arrives.

It has been an amazing experience. I never knew I could feel so much love. Looking at Theodore when I feed him, I feel that I am the most fortunate lady in the world. Seeing how Mr Gui stepped up to organise the situations, and buy baby items and an electric pump last minute by himself made me felt even more L-O-V-E...

Let the love roll!...and I shall now head to the prayer room for my first prayer session since home, and thank Buddha for the easy and quick delivery (about 5hrs); and my lovely boy.

2010-03-14T12:35:00.002+09:00

The Busy Buzz
Originally uploaded by sparkleneely

Countdown Checklist to Welcoming Baby G

Well, well, it has been busy weekends..been tired, been weak, been weary. The exhaustion was not solely from Baby G, it was also from the meet-up of friends from overseas (my pleasure!) and David's one year old party. The warm humid weather is not helping either.

At least we are at the stage of rounding up preparations. The happy thing is Baby G has been good. He is now well-positioned and engaged, and facing the back of my spine. Good boy (for a start)!

On Friday, I went to the Takashimaya Baby Fair, and bought diapers and David's one year old present. There are a lot of educational toys in the market. So far, David has only received entertaining toys with loud music and noise, so I thought, hmm its time for brain, eyes stiumulating toys for a one-year-old.

Yesterday evening, I went to the supermarket to purchase more diapers, and a small tin of milk powder. Whoa, a small tin of milk powder costs many times of that of a large tin of milo.

Today is Sunday, we are heading to Dome for a western meal with my in-laws. I know whats going to be when I return home. I need to manage the shopping bags that have been on the floor.

In addition to that, I need to look through the documents received during the pre-admission to Gleneagles, read up on the usage of the breast pump, read up on the usage of the baby laundry detergent and softener. Quite a shame, but all these would be so new to me.

With that said, I am sure Gui and I would be able to handle. Tomorrow we have to go the to airport with the In-Principal Approval document to pick Sumini up. Oh yes, I need to learn how to manage a nanny/ helper. Did someone say, the only constant is change?

2010-03-06T20:12:00.003+09:00

Tools and Tips for Handling Helpers?

Having a helper solves certain tasks, but it can also create a load of other problems, from language miscommunication to trying to monitor if the best cut of squid, fish or beef went into their stomach. I know this might make me sound like a miser, but it wouldn't be that funny if you knew that your cod or salmon fish became your helper's meals.

Well luckily for our household, we don't really have that problem at the moment. Mother-in-law is very experienced with managing helpers. Yes, there was once where Dahlia ate one of the expensive fish to herself. MIL explained to her that this is costly, and I guess she wouldn't help herself so freely in future. We are soon going to have two helpers in the household, so having rules would help us manage the living costs better. Yes, the government is raising the foreign worker levy! Thanks for nothing!

Today, Gui and I sorted out the baby room. Took out the steriliser and bottle warmer equipment (okay need to learn how to operate this), sorted out all clothings and beddings that would need to be washed by the baby laundry detergent, placed the nappy liners, baby nail clippers appropriately, set up the playpen in our bedroom, set up the bathtub area etc. Sumini will be arriving in the middle of March to help wash and clean all the baby stuff. She is one lucky helper who is going to have a really cosy, well-decorated and air-conditioned room to work in. I think she deserves it though. She is intelligent, put others before herself, and more importantly she has experience taking care of babies. Apparently she has done such a great job that most children end up crying when Sumini has to leave...I don't really want that situation, but I will really need her help when I return to work. I will try as much as possible to take care of our baby myself.

I don't know what I have against Dahlia though. I always seem to think that she doesn't have the intelligence to help manage a household, I doubt her reasoning ability, I think she is lazy when it comes to cooking (but really she has improved since day one). As my MIL always say, if they are so intelligent, they wouldn't be your helper - which is true. Green Tara emphasizes on the attainment of six perfections of giving, ethics, patience, effort, meditative stabilisation and wisdom, and bright with her every compassionate care for all. Somehow I can't help but feel that Dahlia is somehow sent here to be in our household so that I would be tested and pushed to develop compassionate care for all...

2010-03-02T20:34:00.002+09:00

Celebrations & Celebrations

January and February are two busy months of celebrating birthdays. First, it was my brother, then my father-in-law, and then Por Por, and then my Daddy. That concludes January. In February, apart from Lunar New Year and Valentine's, we also celebrated Mum-in-law's birthday last Friday at M's house. We had wagyu, foie gras, champagne and yu-sheng as well. Of course I was denied the champagne, but foie gras - there was no way I was going to watch all of them eat it in front of me, so I decided to have a yum yum yum piece...

To think that I have stayed away (apart from stealing a mouth or two from Gui) from sashimi, foie gras, caffeinated drinks and alcohol for eight months.. guess it will all resume pretty soon, although it felt like a small achievement to be able to have no attachment to the daily coffee I used to survive on!

2010-02-25T23:13:00.003+09:00

Lunar New Year Evening

On the first day of the Lunar New Year, it was house visiting as usual. Well, it was my first time, but I went over to Gui's First Uncle house and we had delicious bee hoon, treasure pot, and Nian Gao. Por Por was very generous with me and she kept getting food that was healthy for me from the treasure pot (*Blush blush).

When lunch ended, Gui and I went over to my house and there my cousins were. We had some beers and snacks. Of course I could only limit myself to some snacks (and yea no beer huh). I really miss drinking - a "habit" probably built up during my year in Japan - give me Ume and sake anytime!

In the evening, both my in-laws, and my parents and sister went over to Desi Tulku's house. We had about an hour of prayer and then potluck dinner together. Thats a celebratory cheers picture for the Lunar New Year!

2010-02-20T19:20:00.002+09:00

Lunar New Year Guest: Desi Tulku

Desi Tulku (DT), pictured below is a Rinpoche. In Buddhism, he is one rank or level below Dalai Lama. He has been living in India. Due to his rank, he would probably be captured if he returned to Tibet.

This year's Lunar New Year was special as we invited DT back to our home to have Reunion Dinner with us. He was all alone, so we thought why not invite him home and get a dose of cultural exchange. For this year, it happens that the Tibetan's New Year falls on the exact same date as our Chinese's Lunar New Year which starts on Feb 14..hello Valentines Day!

For our Yu Sheng, we used smoked salmon since I really shouldn't be taking raw food - so I was glad I wouldn't be missing out on the tossing of the fish salad. Since it was DT's first attempt, mother-in-law explained the meaning of this dish (Yu) - which signifies abundance and prosperity.

We also ordered noodles from Ah Yat Abalone Restaurant, and noodles represent longevity. Of course, the Treasure Pot - which had whole abalones, dried oysters, prawns, fresh scallops, roast chicken, differeny type of mushrooms and Chinese cabbage. It makes a complete, satisfying and nutritious meal. (Hmm, but maybe less satisfying as we also had Treasure Pot - although freshly prepared - for the next consecutive four meals).

We took a one hour break after dinner, and then DT began making Dorma (offerings) in the kitchen. This was made from oat, butter, honey and water. Smells really good in the kitchen! but these are offerings for the Buddha, not meant to be eaten.

When DT finished preparing the Dorma, we went into our prayer room and chanted till it was Lunar New Year...well it was about half an hour of praying. It was a pleasant way to start the first day of Lunar New Year.

After the prayer session, we back to the living room and wanted to have something sweet (I guess its symbolic once again) - we had red bean soup, Pu-er tea, chestnuts and some dried longans. Had a quick chit chat and snacks and then went off to bed. Well, its important to look fresh to welcome the first day of Lunar New Year ain't it!

2010-02-11T22:05:00.003+09:00

Its Official

Its official - David is not scared of dogs. Sunday morning, we decided to bring Bobby, whereas M brought David along to Botanic. Initially, David was looking at Bobby - very curious. It was probably David's first time seeing a dog.

After a while, David wanted to touch Bobby, but Papa M said "No". I told him, if you don't allow David to touch the dog - I have witnessed for myself kids at 4-5 years old being so scared of dogs, they scream your house roof down. Yea, we hosted a dinner once, and their two kids were screaming in our house....Having heard that incident, M tilted the stroller towards Bobby. I stroked it first, and then David followed. Stroke one, stroke two, stroke three..aha getting comfortable, he grabbed Bobby's skin and hair - ok, enough he has break through that psychological barrier, and we decided we have achieved our Sunday morning goal :) Soon after M took out a bottle of water to wash David's hand, which was the right thing to do since David is at the age where he puts his hands into his mouth often.

I know some of my friends will tell their kiddos - Dogs are our friends. So, I hope that my intentions and views are correct, and that Baby G and Bobby will get along great in time to come!

2010-02-04T20:15:00.004+09:00

My Stay Home Workday

Thats bottle tree - a place we kinda accidentally drove to one of the weekends. M. was showing a good place to bring kiddos to in future when our kiddos are older. I was suprised to find such a location in Singapore. I thought all's developed (and lost). This was a nice suprise indeed. There were many kiddos there with their parents.

I caught a very slight cold, so have decided to stay home. Lets see, was it exciting and well-spent? Woke up, had breakfast, went on to the internet, lunch with Mr Gui at home, newspapers, and then I napped from 2:30pm - 5:30pm! Maybe I am really tired (or lazy)? Or I guess rest is the best way to recover from a cold. Frankly though, I can't wait to go back to work tomorrow. Its just me. I think I am not cut out to be a domestic goddess. Neither do I want to be the high-heeled and catty bespectacled lady climbing up the corporate ladder (and playing the political unethical game - which is unavoidable the more senior you move). So now, I am in a position I am currently thankful for. Flexibility in working hours, no long tedious hours, and more importantly a job scope I am interested in (oops Braxton Hicks as I am writing). Actually, I felt a bit lonely staying at home today even though Mr Gui was with me till noon time. Guess I need to be surrounded by a constant flow of people! My friend A. did mention that things (the mindset) might change once you have a kid - who knows!

I am still thinking about pain relief options. Epidural? My parents' generation of course objected as there are potential side effects. I however want a more peaceful delivery with Mr Gui by my side - rather than screaming hell and pulling someone's hair, or stratching Mr Gui's arms for example. Then again, should it be 100% pain-free or leaving a bit of pain to as to motivate myself to push? The other option is to go wait-and-see. But I know that a lot of ladies that opt for wait-and-see eventually end up with epidural. By that time when you really need strength to push, your energy is exhuasted during the earlier contractions - ok I still have about two months to think about this..

Mother-in-law just went to get two teeth crowning done today. She just told me that she was chanting the Medicine Buddha during the op. Apparently when the anesthesia wore off, she didn't feel pain - to the suprise of herself and the dentist. So, she told me to chant the Medicine Buddha too during the delivery. Here's a little understanding on the Medicine Buddha. Outwardly, he helps to overcome disease and the suffering caused by the disease. On a deeper inner level, he heals us by destroying the diseases of our mind. Practice to him ensures faster recovery from illnesses, the blessing of medicines, strength and clarity of the mind to bring peace into your heart. Strength, clarity and peace - isn't that what every preggy wants? Haha, interesting enough, I noticed that a number of my preggy friends turn even more religious when they are expecting. True enough, many things could be unexpected or out of one's control from a preggy to delivery process - I guess thats why many turn to one's religion for both support and blessing - and only wanting the best for their kiddo!

2010-01-31T18:10:00.003+09:00

Bobby's Sunday Morning Trip to the Beach

Sunday morning, we decided to bring Bobby to East Cost beach - as you can see he looks pretty excited, and he knows he is heading out for some leisure fun. He is 11 years old, which equates to 77 years human age currently. Yes, he still displays child like excitment and happiness.

Yesterday morning we went to the gynae for our routine check-up. Baby G is now 32 weeks old and weighs 1.6kg. The past few weekends have been about sourcing and buying Baby G's products. We are more or less settled with the purchase of big items, and now moving on to shifting the furnitures in the baby's room. Other than that, its been peaceful reading up on labour and delivery, breastfeeding and how to soothe a crying baby. I feel rather heavy to be walking around anyway, so Mr Gui and I have found peaceful contentment in reading from our room. Surprisingly, Mr Gui is now proactive about picking up such resources to read up. Yeah!

I have not been praying daily as some days I have excessive saliva building up especially when I speak - well its supposed to be one of the symptoms some preggy ladies would get. But yesterday after my reading, I felt well enough and needed some prayers to soothe my own pockets of worry or anxiety that pop up from time to time...Yesterday I did the Four-Armed Avalokiteshvara recitation 108 times, which represents loving kindness, joy, equanimity and compassion.

2010-01-14T23:10:00.002+09:00

Pregnancy Poem: Catchy and Charming and Oh-So-True

I'm a pregnant lady
Short and stout,
I'm cranky and irritable,
You better watch out!

Six weeks and counting,
I just can't wait.
This baby had better
Not be late.

When I go to sleep
And try and dream,
My hips and legs hurt
Enough to make me scream.

Just when I think
I can catch some Zzzz,
My bladder yells,
So I get up to pee.

My heat index has risen,
Don't smell my bits,
I need to bathe thrice daily
It's really the pits.

Cleaning up my house
Is more than a chore,
Cos I can't bend over
Or get on the floor!

But since my baby will be
In my arms in just a few days,
Makes me happy and comfortable,
Helps me handle in so many ways.

[Mother & Baby, Neha Sharma, West Coast Road, Singapore]

2010-01-07T23:12:00.003+09:00

The Extremely Precious Human Life

Thats my friend's kiddo - David, at nine months old. I realised its rather difficult to take photographs of children as they are so active. Is it about the shutter speed? Still trying to figure it out.

A friend living in Washington wrote to me today. I was rather surprised by his statement though he is not a father yet - planning to next year spring. "Being a parent is what life is all about in the end."

In Buddhism, it is believed that the human life is extremely precious and it is only achieved once in a long time. Thus, it is extremely important that one does not waste this precious human life. Make it as meaningful as possible by following the Dharma and by not commiting the non-virtuous deeds.

2009-12-31T14:20:00.005+09:00

Welcoming the New Year

In Decemember, it has been a crazy shopping season for me. The typical me avoids shopping crowd during the Christmas season, but this year, I headed out to purchase baby equipment over four consecutive days, and running to various places. We finally purchased the big items from Takashimaya due to the year-end sale, with about 30%++ discounts after factoring in the Takashimaya credit card and the vouchers etc.

The world of baby & child gadgets is simply mind boggling. We settled on a Maclaren stroller. This company was actually founded in the 60s by the same aeronautical engineer who designed the Spitfire fighter plane (the "hero" of The Battle of Britain in WW2).

Looking forward to January 2010, I checked my calendar of events stored in my cell. I am expecting two more baby purchase deliveries from Takashimaya and Isetan, a gynae check-up in the middle of January, and meet up with three groups of friends who I know would be offering valuable baby advice.

Enough of baby talk, there is also a Fish Liberation event on January 3. Of course, this round I would not be boarding the boat out to the kelong. Mr Gui would be attending. I donated a sum though to purchase the fish from the kelong that was meant to be sent to the restaurants. Fish liberation is a buddhist practice of rescuing the fish that are destined for slaughter. The practice exemplifies the fundamental Buddhist teaching of compassion for all living beings.

In a typical fish liberation, we purchase the fish from the kelong wholesalers, bring them to some appropriate place, and let them go free. By liberating living beings, we nurture compassion in our hearts.

...To a great 2010..!

2009-12-16T22:06:00.004+09:00

Hello Baby...

Today Gui and I went for our monthly gynae check-up - our baby is now about 800g, twice the size he was a month ago. Yes, babies are weighed in grams - pretty much like packets of Famous Amos Cookies. According to my sister, thats about four packets ;)

I chose the photo below because Baby_G was pretty much in that position during the scan.

In my earlier scans, the first time Baby_G brought a smile to my face was when he was 11 weeks old. At 3cm in length, he was lying on his back and both arms and legs were cycling in the air quickly like a cyclist. We were wondering then what he was trying to do. Because of his activeness, I think thats why it caused me to have acid reflux from time to time particularly in the first trimester.

After the gynae session, I went home to rest - yeap I have not been sleeping that well. Its either due to Mr Gui returning from work at 2am, and all excited to update me on his happenings; or the baby kicking in the night...Yes I have dark eye circles.

I had a prayer session before dinner just now. According to "The Significance and Benfits of Six-Syllable Mantra Recitation", we should try to make great aspirations during recitation to purify the body, speech and mind. Somehow, for the past few sessions, I have just been very distracted. Thinking about whether I have sort out the documents properly, thinking about the credit card bills, thinking about training programs and staff retention, and I can't believe I turned down an Aston Martin dinner invitation this Thursday since I have an examination this Sat! Well, its all about prioritization isn't it? Especially when I get tired so much easier now. Need to allocate my energy efficiently. Hopefully I get another invitation - in time!

2009-12-02T21:54:00.007+09:00

Every Parent's Dream

This was taken during the detailed ultrasound scan. This is basically to check that your baby is developing well. The emphasis of this pic is on the foot as the gynae has printed on the picture.

I remember a conversation with Gui probably a year ago. He told me that he wants to earn well for his children so that in the future, the child would be able to choose whatever career he/ she enjoys and need not be bounded by which career pays the best.

I thought it was an interesting viewpoint as every parent probably wants the best for their kiddos - including to excel in a career and earning well eventually - especially in the context of a practical and rather materialistic society.

I visited Lama Shifu last week. As he said "Nothing in this world is absolutely right or wrong." I believe he is right. Even though Gui's idea might be a little out of the norm... think about how every mum or dad is filled with joy and excitment when they first see their baby through a computer scan... why end up pressurising or stressing them to achieve when they are out of the placenta? I often hear parents say "You will understand once you have children." If parents-to-be can be excited when the baby starts kicking (ouch!) in your stomach, why shouldn't parents continue to love and respect their kiddos development pace as they grow? I hope I would not fall into the loop of pressurising my kids to excel..and would be able to use the appropriate wisdom to guide my child in future.

2009-11-20T21:42:00.003+09:00

Hmm, I am tired

My stomach size now is not too modest; in fact, I cannot sashay like I used to. I think I walk like a penguin now.

I know, its a process many women have gone through. But frankly, it is not too easy. I dont have the stamina I used to have. I guess I was very used to one coffee, one tea a day, and popping some sweets in between - and thats how I stayed active and energetic at work. Now, I don't take caffeine and No Sweets, thus I feel tired as compared to before.

In this respect, I am thankful that I have the flexibility since I am helping my Dad. I didnt want to stay at home all day (in case I get too lazy!!), so I am now helping out at Dad's office half a day. Hopefully I can gain back my momentum slowly and get back to 9-5 =) Maybe difficult, one of the experienced mummy told me today, it will only get more tiring. As my gynae puts it, "It is nature's way of getting a preggy to rest more, so it benefits the baby".

Of course my sis has been a straight-forward and effective support. I was telling her today, I walk like a penguin now and I have never been this fleshy all my life. She said, "Its only for these nine months." Thats true..got to keep that in perspective even though I can no longer fasten my jacket..

2009-11-16T23:42:00.004+09:00

My Ever Changing Status and Size

I have a new support group - four of my close girlfriends are pregnant, one of whom just gave birth. Of course, my mum, and mum-in-law...errh and maybe my hubby...

It was especially a coincidence that we all are all delivering about the same time - its going to be a hectic and noisy 1Q10. Having a close support group is rather important, we could share tips and experiences on pre-natal nutrition, cramps, throwing up, how to stay happy, how sleep is now interrupted..etc, it makes you feel that you are not alone as you go through these abrupt changes in life.

First of all, lets just say I had a rather clumsy first trimester. The throwing up. Fair enough, the gynae seems to think its a good sign though because it indicates high hormone levels which feeds the baby well in the 1st trimester. I remember replying him by saying "ooh am I supposed to feel better after hearing this?" He said "Its uncomfortable for you, but its good for the baby."

There's also the saying that if you stay happy, your baby will generally have a happy disposition. Indeed one of my lady friend, who currently isn't working does seem filled with joy (hehe, better than when she was working). Another of my friend who also had a rather pukish 1st trimester commented, "how to be happy when you have to deal with the throwing up" - which is also so true...

I believe spouse support is very important at this point. Thats why in the book "What to Expect when you are expecting", it has a chapter for the dad-to-be. Both Gui and my fren's hubby gave up reading after some pages...guys.. Gui is also working very late daily. I am frequently home alone... but when he has a little bit of sane time, he will "speak" to the baby. Sometimes, he hits my stomach a bit so as to get a response from the kiddo - (??!). When he leaves for work now, he gives me a peck on my face; and one on the stomach... thats a new blessing to count indeed.

2009-10-30T19:42:00.004+09:00

Finally, We Went Through...

The Kuala Lumpur (KL) wedding pictures few months back.

We drove in on a Friday, had our dinner on Saturday evening, and then drove back home the next day Sunday.

It was really quite an experience for me. Yes more traditional. The excitment and noise, I actually had a headache very quickly..hehe

Of course it was quite a delight to see my relatives who have travelled from Ipoh, and Gui's relatives who travelled from other parts of Malaysia.

We also did the traditional Yum Seng, which we were probably trying to avoid, but hey I guess thats the way Chinese weddings are meant to be...

Oh ya thats the gold necklace during the tea ceremony. When Auntie took out the gold necklace, I instinctly thought it was for me, but no no its for the male! I had a silver one later. Doesn't matter, both are in the safe now under my safe-keeping hehe....

Its been a few months since, and so has Por Por who stayed with us for about a month. Tomorrow father and mum-in-law will be fetching her back to KL for about two months, after which she would return to Singapore in Jan 2010. She is a superb cook!! Can't help but feel that as a lady, its important to know how to cook a meal after all. I have been learning bits and pieces from her...errh really just bits and pieces, just watching and listening to her explanations..thats a start ;)

Mum-in-law gave me something to read from her Dharma class recently. Its about Three Types of Individual within the Buddhist Teachings. Although its only two pages, I have been taking quite a while, as I tried to categorize Gui and myself - whether we belong to the Small, Middle or Great Individual.

I believe we are Superior Small.

"One designates as the superior small individual those person who, (seeing) the present life does not last long and having obtained faith in the action-result of virtue and non-virtue, are apprehensive and anxious on account of the uncertainty of taking birth in the lower realm in future life. Thus they strive chiefly for a high condition, the state of a human or god, and for the purpose of this go to the jewels for refuge and strive principally for achieving virtue and avoiding vice."

"Therefore, the Superior Small individual even though anxious and apprehensive on seeing as objectionable the misery of the lower realms, without perceiving as objectional birth in a fortunate destiny which is contained in the round of existence, he perceives its virtues, and making this the foremost of objectives, he strives for this. Therefore, once he perceives one part of the round of existence as objectionable and another part as beneficial, he does not strive for deliverance, which free from the entire round of existence."

I know it sounds rather complex. I read the paragraphs many times before totally comprehending it. In fact, re-typing it out here, I got it!

So what is the Great Individual?

"Just as in the world good and kind parents cherish their own offspring and forsaking their own aims take of the responsibility of many hundreds of irksome tasks for the sake of their children, the great individual also forsake the peace and happiness of himself alone and makes the others much dearer than himself. The person who has the superior thought of assuming the responsibility of a mean for clearing away the ills and accomplishing the happiness of others is designated as the Great Individual."

2009-10-17T19:21:00.003+09:00

The Parents

I was reading a chapter in Rich Bro Rich Sister. As community leaders their parents were often gone for days, focusing on government and medical services to fellow citizens. The four Kiyosaki children grew up in a family environment in which there was more than merely talk about community service and civic responsibility. They grew up with parents who said very little, but who acted a lot.

My in-laws often said little, but acted a lot putting Gui & my interest first. After six years or so, I think they reached a boiling point where they felt that they are the ones who are always giving, whereas we kids are always on the receiving end. So we had a chat last weekend. Very glad that things are resolved now, but basically, without the chat, we wouldn't have otherwise realised that their actions are mainly geared towards us as priorities.

Simple acts we didnt realise, for example,

They took a trip to China recently, and when they heard a particular mushroom is particularly good for pregnant ladies, they bought three packets home. Apparently, one packet costs $100. It is high in iron and minerals. I have been drinking the soup frequently, but of course not realising that they bought the costly mushrooms on purpose.

They have even thought about how the baby's room should be re-arranged, since there are currently two super-single beds in there. Father-in-law thinks the beds should be combined, whereas Mum-in-law thinks that they should be re-arranged L-shaped to make more space for a cot right in the middle of the room.

They also bought a property in London, and mum-in-law keeps saying who knows your child might study overseas next time -- okay this might be far fetched.

Truth is, Gui and I have taken all these acts for granted. We hardly spend time with them, we never buy food for them. We were living in our own world, in their house. They are already in the 60s, but frequently think about us. They got pretty fed up - they said "we would like to be travelling more frequently, but if we leave the house for you two to manage, are you able to?" I have to say "Sorry No". I didnt even know if heating a bowl of sauce in a microwave might cause an "explosion". So now, I am taking steps to learn, and reduce my reliance. Gui and I also ensure we put them as priority whenever they asked us for meals... no more fooling around after a rather strict warning... but we deserved it..

2009-10-05T21:19:00.004+09:00

Curiosity!

Need to give special mention to this photo because Baby David was just too cute & curious.

At the same time, I wonder if I will be a good mummy in future. On the wedding day, when I went into their private room with a champagne glass in my hand, instinctly, I let Baby David sniff & smell the champagne.

He loved it, and couldn't stop grabbing my glass. Even as we were taking a group picture, he had both hands grabbing the top of the glass. His papa managed to hold one hand back as the camera snapped, so Baby David didn't look too greedy (too cute, too curious) in the picture. Baby David is strong. Just like his Daddy, he is probably going to love drinking as he grows! So thats Auntie Eimi introducing champagne at a tender age of four months (oops).

Rich Brother Rich Sister. After the preface, there is an introductory chapter on Robert Kiyosaki. The background information on Robert was interesting, which was probably going to be important in understanding the development of the rest of the book. An extract I found more thought-provoking is reproduced as below:

Success does not always mean we become what we were born to be. Graduating from college does not necessarily mean we have become who we are born to become. Just because someone is professionally successful - as an attorney or doctor - does not mean they are doing what they were born to do. The same is true for money. Just because you are rich does not mean you have succeeded in becoming who you were born to become.

And just because my sister had become a nun, it didn't necessary mean she had become who she was born to be. Becoming who you were born to become goes beyong success and attainment. Becoming who you were born to be is rediscovering your path and getting back on the path.

It is about life's journey, not life's destination.

Right now, I am discovering a new path indeed...

2009-09-23T14:50:00.010+09:00

Moving into Three

I thought I will share a bit more of the Wedding pictures, well also because I have not been snapping and have no new collection to share. These photos here didnt quite make it to our selected hard copy album, but I think they are still nice in certain ways.

So it was about two months ago. Today its a day prior to my 30 birthday. Well its just 29+1 isn't it? But no no, it does Sound different. Even my mum-in-law kinda made fun of me.. "So this year you are three?" Yessh...

Oh well, my first birthday gift happens to be from my mum-in-law. A book entitled "Rich Brother Rich Sister" with two Godiva bar chocolates. I am trying to cut down on sugar actually, but hey who can resist the 72% dark Godiva chocolate?

I was a little surprised with the book title. Is she perhaps hinting I should be making more money? But okay, the book cover picture had a Lama, so I presume it must have something to do with spirtuality which would be more in line with what she would give. On the book cover, it also says "Two different paths to God, Money and Happiness"...okay so there is something related to $. I'm curious, and can't wait to start the book and find out exactly what it is about!

2009-08-28T23:11:00.004+09:00

SOME GOOD MEMORIES & Experiences

Its been more than a month since the wedding party. Some moments & special touches were especially memorable. One of which was a Oriental wedding card I received from a couple. Before I move onto the content of the card, here are some moments from the wedding party.

Thats my man, whom at that point probably had many glasses of champagne already. Thats my sister giving me a generous red packet with a card. Her angbao money was derived from a rather complex formula and she said "how come you can't guess it?!" hmm accountants. Thats of course me, the bride, grinning from ear to ear. Thats brother and sister after receiving the tea ceremony red packets from us.

The card, yes one of the cards that was the most meaningful was written by Auntie Pema and Uncle Sam. In it, there were summarised writings and teachings of the Six Paramitas, namely, Generosity, Discipline, Patience, Joyful Endeavour, Meditative Concentration and Prajna.

I got curious and researched more on the Internet. Here's more on Generosity (summarised):

The practice of generosity is to give what is helpful and good and to give without selfishness. The teachings on generosity, explain proper and improper charity. It is necessary to abandon improper giving and to know what is proper to give.

One’s motivation is very important when one is charitable. It is also important to reflect the recipient of one’s generosity. It certainly is not beneficial to pamper those persons crazed with desire and filled with greed. Proper generosity is giving whatever one possibly can and doing so with a pure motivation and enthusiasm.

2009-08-13T20:49:00.003+09:00

me in mosaic pictures...

1. Wedding Shot @ Boat Quay, 2. Bobby Heng, 3. Home Party, 4. Wedding Shot by the sea, 5. Smilezzz, 6. Bobby Heng, 7. Wedding shot by the sea + plane, 8. Chocolate Muffins made with love, 9. Relaxing Manhattan, 10. Wedding Shot @ Boat Quay Lane, 11. DrangonFly @ Yokohama, 12. Wedding Shot @ Bella Pizza

hmm, just wanted to experiment with the Mosaic Maker.

2009-08-11T21:24:00.003+09:00

Gui's seating arrangement plan

Here's the hand-drawn seating plan during our wedding party at Mezza9. Mr Gui decided to do up his own sketch as Mezza9's computerised seating plan was beautiful, but it was inflexible as we wanted to shift around some of the table arrangements to suit the groupings of our friends. They were probably impressed and we used this hand-drawn plan for our meetings & discussions henceforth.

It was fun, but hey every since the wedding party, Gui and I seldom have time together. He is just sooo busy, rushing a project at the moment. Yesterday was National Day, a public holiday, but he had to work till wee hours (ok I have to admit I have no idea what time he got home), he's just sooo busy and he told me, "please include me in your prayers!"

Indeed when I chanted yesterday, I said, "I dedicate the merits of these mantra to all sentient beings, including Mr Gui." I hope this works. In Buddhism, it is belived that the most powerful prayers are those that are made to benefit others. So always chant your mantras to benefit others; say your prayers to benefit others. This is the source of greatest happiness.

2009-08-07T21:05:00.002+09:00

The Setting

Mezza9 surprised us with the design of the immediate family table setting. Oh well we probably had to pay for those peeled out rose petals. The decor had a slightly spa-like feel, so it created a very relaxed atmosphere for us as we dined. It was the first wedding they have held and I won't be surprised if they took inspirations from their spa boutiques?

After returning from Kuala Lumpur this week, I have been staying home. A little unwell, a little discomfort, but ok, trying to perk myself up mentally. I could also do some light work from home via email.

I read a quote today: Do you know what is responsible for much of the difference between Youth and Age? Just one thing. Youth looks forward always to something better. Age looks backward and sighs over its "lost" youth.

So despite the discomfort, I tell myself to Look Forward!!

2009-08-03T20:37:00.004+09:00

Yea! We are All Done!

We have completed the wedding celebration marathon!

Phew! Quite a relief. We completed our celebration in Kuala Lumpur (KL) on August 1 with our family and relatives. They travelled from all parts of Malaysia, and many of which we were only meeting for the first time.

This celebration was a bit more traditional than the one held in Singapore. During the tea ceremony, we even had relatives putting necklaces over us. Mr Gui had a gold necklace, oh yea, it did match his red tie.

Although it was a three-day stay in KL, i.e. kinda rush, Gui and I did have some good time alone, and we managed to find time to pray while in our room in the evening. Life starts from here!

2009-07-29T15:42:00.002+09:00

Investigating Myself

Mr G and I celebrated our union on 18 July 2009. Now I am taking a break as I prepare for the next wedding celebration in Kuala Lumpur (KL)... so I have been home for the couple of days until we drive up this Friday.

Apart from looking and sieving through photos, I have been feeling rather lifeless at home. The weather here makes it difficult for me to wana to walk down or up the hill from my house - so I have been staying put in my place.

I have also not been exercising as I am afraid my back pain would come back and it will show on my face when I am in KL. I have not been going to the pool to relax and tan as I am afraid the tan would not go well with the more conservative relatives in KL.

Worst of all, I feel a little handicapped and even more lazy to touch things with long manicured nails. I have to change the angle I punch my keyboard with these long nails that I am afraid might break. After the KL wedding, its farewell manicure (probably for the rest of my life).

To "pep" myself a little, I resorted to reading Robert Colliers, here's an extract:

Just take stock of yourself for a moment. Are your muscles tough, springy and full of vim? Do they do all you ask of them -- and then beg for more? Can you eat a good meal -- and forget it?

If you can't, its your own fault. You can have a body alive with vitality, a skin smooth and fine of texture, muscles supple and virile. You can be the man you have always dreamed of being.

You who envy the rosy cheek and sparkling eye of youth, who awake in the morning weary and unfreshed, who go to your daily tasks with fagged brain and heavy tread - just remember that Perfect Youth or Perfect Health is largely a state of mind.

2009-07-22T23:45:00.009+09:00

Guo Da Li aka Gift Exchange

A traditional Chinese practice of the groom's family asking for the permission from the bride's parents for the hand of the bride!

You know what I am talking about - we conducted it two weeks before the wedding party on July 4 2009 - at first I termed this Gift Exchange, but looking at the puzzled look of some of my friends, I learnt the proper term - Guo Da Li!!

This is the wedding bethrothal basket prepared by the groom's family - hmm I am quite sure this isn't the correct traditional style - thumbs up for being a creator though.

Apparently different dialects require different items. Thanks to both mums for preparing the baskets of items.

My favourite was definitely the wedding cakes!

2009-06-29T22:06:00.003+09:00

The Extra Degree

Oh whoa... I need a breather.. its just been non-stop busy bee...work, planning for the wedding party, advising clients on the birth of their new companies, liaising with London... phew phew phew....

Both Irwin and I have been really busy with work. When certain details were not finalized with the hotel, my father-in-law gave us some nice wine & then started telling the story of The Extra Degree.

Basically, its along the lines of how the extra degree can make all the difference.

At 98°C, water is not.
At 100°C, water boils.

And with boiling water, comes steam.
And with steam, you can power a train.

With that extra 2°C --> it can produce exponential results and ignite something wonderful.

He went on to elaborate how humans typically perform up to 98% of effort required, not realizing that with that extra 2% level of effort, it would produce exponential results. Following up on the 98% already put in, and adding in that 2% can have a tremendous impact on results.

So, Irwin & I try to put in new levels of effort in everything we do now. A little more effort to produce steam, that can power a train! not exactly, but you get it.

2009-06-17T22:50:00.003+09:00

The Smiley Man

Oh ya, thats my hubby. Hosted a dinner back last month, and received this cool gift.

His first instinct as we explored the gift was "take a pic, take a pic". Turned out pretty funny I must say. Can't complain when you have a humourous partner =)

2009-05-14T19:55:00.002+09:00

My first client

Yesterday I met up with a potential client at a cafe. We briefly went through his business plan, and I introduced our services and fees. He did source around before meeting me, and he felt that our professional fees are slightly higher than what he has seen.

When I returned home in the evening, I was strategising on a spreadsheet, and spoke with my mum over the phone. We decided not to go on a price war, and hence did not try to match the competitor's. I sent out the fee proposal by 9pm so that there was still time left for my prayers and American Idol.

This morning, I received a "Yes, my wife and I are happy to accept your proposal." A little surprised, and I called my mum in the office on the next steps to proceed.

Oh well, I woke up with a stomach cramp too. Arggh ah ah ah, I think I am aging. I never used to get stomach cramp. I have been playing tennis and doing yoga - I thought I would be healthy enough to escape that cramp. Luckily I had the flexibility to work from home. With emails and phone exchanges, the contract shall be signed tomorrow evening.

Funny me - I am still trying to figure myself out. So do I prefer to stay at home or work? When I stayed at home for a short period of time I enjoyed it. If Dad did not insist I help him at the company, I would want to stay at home and enjoy a little - basically be stress-free. But today, when I was operating at home, things were slow, the weather was warm - I wished I was back in the action-packed office.

Was I thrilled with the first client? Yes! but the euphoria died pretty quickly. Some satisfaction yes, but money isn't quite everything to me now. (Oh yes, I am really aging!) I went to the prayer room in the evening to chant. I guess that is where I feel happier, although it is not exactly comfortable to seat cross-legged for half and hour or more.

Here's an extract of a story about a turtle I just read.

Have you ever seen a turtle thrown on its back? For a while it threshes around wildly, reaching for something outside to take hold of to put it on its feet. Just as we humans always look for help outside ourselves first. But presently he draws all his forces within his shell, rests a bit to regain his strength, and then throws his whole force to one side -- legs, head, tail, and all -- and over he goes! So, it is with us.

2009-05-11T20:45:00.002+09:00

PorPor: 83 Year Old Woman begins new life in Canada

She is indeed one lucky woman. Por Por, 83 endured a long flight and made it safely to Canada.

I just saw pictures of her on Facebook, with four grandchildren, and celebrating one of her grandson's birthday in Canada.

Por Por was a Chinese teacher in her younger days. She was also an athlete. I guess being a teacher by profession, she had to be a role model and needed to display positive attitude constantly. Being an athlete probably provided her with stronger discipline to be a positive person despite the obstacles life will always present.

At her age, she still cares and cooks for the family ~ a fine lady indeed.

Everyone of us will get old and become extinct one day. I say she is one lucky woman, and she deserves it.

2009-05-06T20:52:00.004+09:00

What We Are Working For

Bobby - he has been around with the Gui family far longer than I have. When Sumini left the family and returned to Indonesia to help her husband in business, I suddenly realized - we are all slaves of dear Bobby!

When Sumini left, Karen flew back all the way from London so she can now take care of Bobby's meals, and his walks. Shortly after, mum-in-law stepped up her search efforts for the ideal helper who is able to take care of a dog. A previous helper was rejected as Bobby didn't seem to like her.

Irwin drove all the way back from Thomson one day during office hours as no one else was free to walk the dog. And you know what? Bobby frowns when you don't go the way he wants.

Mum-in-law also frequently looks out for a new housing, as she says that her dream is to let Bobby have a nice kennel...ok....

At dinner today, I realized Bobby had soup, broccoli and some dash of pork floss in his food bowl (in addition to his own food of course). And Bobby chose not to eat the stalk part of the broccoli!

Still, he's a lovely boy. Thats why we are working so hard - to get him that perfect kennel.

2009-04-30T21:38:00.002+09:00

Unappropriated Millions

Somebody said it couldn't be done,

But he with a chuckle replied

That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one

Who wouldn't say so till he'd try.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the tiling

That couldn't be done, and he did it.

---- Edgar A. Guest

2009-04-19T23:33:00.008+09:00

The Eggs

I am not sure if I should be proud of it or not. At this age of oops nearly 30, I realized I have not mastered the skills of cooking up a nice meal. I am thankful however that everyone around me can whip up very good, in fact, gourmet meals. The only food I dare say I am proud & confident of whipping up is scrambled eggs - so, I make a good breakfast wife.

My mother-in-law frequently makes references to Aunt Lily. She runs her own business with her husband and can cook very well. Ok, I get the hint. Actually I feel slightly embarrased over the past few evenings. Mr Gui is out of town, so I am the only one home. Mum-in-law still arranges with the maid what to cook for me...*shy*. Its just less funny when you are nearly 30. Then again, I know I will never take the initiative to decide what to cook. I would rather enjoy cereal in a bowl of cold milk. I am just less clumsy at pressing the calculator than frying.

A little something to share:

To every man there openeth
A way, and ways, and a way.
And the high soul climbs the high way,
And the low soul gropes the low:
And in between, on the misty flats,
The rest drift to and fro.
But to every man there openeth
A high way and a low,
And every man decideth
The way his soul shall go.
--JOHN OXENHAM

2009-04-04T14:47:00.004+09:00

living, enjoying & appreciating the moment

We held this party last month. Had a really good mix of guests from the champagne, and architect business.

Food was of course tops with M and Gui being the chefs. C brought along vodka and a Californian Merlot. S brought along Piper Heidsieck champagne. We finished the party with more whisky.

To think it was a Sunday evening! Close to 11:00pm, we were still dancing and singing, and of course snapping some pictures as and when I felt like. Errh, to provide more details, one went on top of the table to dance; to provide more - someone kinda stripped...oops. Caught on my camera, but not gonna flash it of course**!

Another short extract from Ajahn Brahm, although entitled "what's wrong with being sick?"... I felt has parallel to appreciating and enjoying moments!

In my public talks, I often ask the audience to raise their hand if they have ever been sick. Nearly everyone puts up their hand. (Those who don't are either asleep or probably lost in a sexual fantasy!) This proves, I argue, that it is quite normal to be sick. In fact, it would be very unusual if you didn't fall sick from time to time. So why, I ask, do you say when you visit the doctor,"There is something wrong with me, doctor? It would be wrong only if you weren't sick sometimes. Thus a rational person should say instead,"There is something right with me, doctor. I'm sick again!"

Whenever you perceive sickness as something wrong, you add unnecessary stress, even guilt, on top of the unpleasantness. In the nineteenth-century novel Erehwon, Samuel Butler envisaged a society in which illness was considered a crime and the sick were punished with a jail term. In one memorable passage, the accused man, sniffling and sneezing in the dock, was berated by the judge as a serial offender. This was not the first time he had appeared before the magistrate with a cold. Moreover, it was all his fault through eating junk food, failing to exercise adequately, and following a stressful lifestyle. He was sentenced to several years in jail.

How many of us are led to feel guity when we are sick?

A fellow monk had been sick with an unknown illness for many years. He would spend day after day, week after week, in bed all day, too weak even to walk beyond his room. The monastery spared no expense or effort arranging every kind of medical therapy, orthodox and alternative, in an attempt to help him, but nothing seemed to work. He would think he was feeling better, stagger outside for a little walk, and then relapse for weeks. Many times they thought he would die.

One day, the wise abbot of the monastery had an insight into the problem. So he went to the sick monk's room.

The bedridden monk stared up at the abbot with utter hopelessness.

"I've come here," said the abbot. "on behalf of all the monks and nuns of this monastery, and also for all the lay-people who support us. On behalf of all these people who love and care for you. I have come to give you permission to die. You don't have to get better."

At those words, the sick monk wept. He'd been trying so hard to get better. His friends had gone to so much trouble trying to heal his sick body that he couldn't bear to disappoint them. He felt such a failure, so guilty, for not getting better. On hearing the abbot's works, he now felt free to be sick, even to die. He didn't need to struggle so hard to please his friends anymore. The release he felt caused him to cry.

What do you think happened next? From that day on, he began to recover.

2009-03-24T22:06:00.004+09:00

The last laugh...

so...I had my first manicure session today.. with my mum-in-law. I have always avoided manicure as I didn't want my nails to turn yellowish because of the chemicals.

While we had our mani & pedi, there was a young girl brought there by her mummy. She was probably seven. She was doing her mani & pedi, and her tai-tai mummy was taking pictures of her, after which they would be heading to Paragon. Hmm, is that how new age mothers dote on their children these days? In fact, the manicurist mentioned that it is hardly uncommon these days for children to come in. She will personally not allow her kids to do it at a young age, but in tough times like this, as long as they pay, they will do it even for baby clients....oh well, every parent has their own set of parenting values.

Anyways, a short story to share before I go mask my face and continue my bedtime reading.

This is a true story from Ajahn Chah on how to deal with abuse.

An American G.I. was traveling from the base into town on a rickshaw. On the outskirts of town, they passed a roadside bar where some friends of the rickshaw driver were already quite drunk.

"Hey!" they shouted in Thai. "Where are you taking that dirty dog to?" Then they laughed, pointing at the American soldier.

For a moment, they driver was alarmed. The soldier was a very big man and in Thailand calling someone a "dirty dog" meant an inevitable fight. However, the soldier was quietly looking around, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Obviously, he did not understand the Thai language.

The driver, deciding to have some fun at the American's expense, shouted back, "I'm taking this filthy dog and throwing him in the Moon River to give the smelly mongrel a wash!"

As the driver and his drunken friends laughed, the soldier remained unmoved.

When they reached their destination and the driver put out his hand for the journey's fare, the American soldier quietly began to walk away.

The rickshaw driver excitedly shouted after him in broken but clear English, "Hey! Sir! You pay me dollars!"

To which the big American soldier calmly turned around and said in perfectly accented Thai, "Dog's don't have money."

2009-03-12T20:39:00.006+09:00

Precious Stones - coz you can't buy them!

The above two are taken during the last Dongzhi celebration. It has a wonderful bouncy texture hopefully justifed by the photo. More importantly, our families gathered to enjoy the hand-rolled Tang Yuans!

Today I am going to talk about Precious Stones by Ajahn Brahm. Pardon me for quoting them frequently, oh well blame it on American Idol. Hee - thats my in-between advertisement time activity. I read a book - some stories I can't help but wana share.

At a famous U.S. business school some years ago, a professor delivered an extraordinary lecture on social economics to his graduating class. Without explaining what he was doing, the professor carefully placed a glass jar on his desk. Then, in view of his students, he brought out a bag full of stones and placed them one by one in the jar, until no more would go in. He asked his students, "Is the jar full?"

"Yes," they replied.

The professor smiled. From beneath the desk, the professor produced a second bag, this one full of gravel. He then managed to shake the smaller stones into the spaces between the bigger stones in the jar. A second time, he asked his students, "Is the jar full?"

"No," they answered. They were on to him by now.

They were correct, of course, for the professor produced a bag of fine sand. He managed to coax much of the sand into the spaces between the stones and the gravel within the jar. Again he asked, "Is the jar full?"

"Probably not, Professor, knowing you," the students replied.

Smiling at their answer, the professor brought out a small jug of water, which he poured into the jar full of stones, gravel and sand. When no more water would fit in the jar, he put down the jug and looked at his class.

"So, what does this teach you?" he asked his students.

"That no matter how busy your schedule," offered one of the students, "you can always fit something more in!" It was a famous business school, after all.

"No!" thundered the professor emphatically. "What it shows is that if you want to get the big stones in, you have to put them in first."

It was a lesson in priorities.

So what are the "big stones" in your "jar"? What is most important to fit into your life? Please ensure that you schedule in the "precious stones" first, or you'll never get around to them, to fit them into your day.

2009-03-04T19:42:00.005+09:00

The Most Beautiful Sound

Mum baked these muffins on the morning that bro was to fly back to Australia.

She was having a cold and fever for the past few days then, but she still rose to the occasion and baked chocolate chip muffins for the family.

A closer look: Hmm, slurp slurp

This is a little cosy corner put up by mum.

Want to share another story I have read :)

An uneducated old man was visiting a city for the first time in his life. He had grown up in a remote mountain village, worked hard raising his children, and was now enjoying his first visit to his children's modern homes.

One day, while being shown around the city, the old man heard a sound that stung his ears. He had never heard such an awful noise in his quiet mountain village and he insisted on finding its cause. Following the grating sound back to its source, he came to a room in the back of a house where a small boy was practicing on a violin.

Screech! Scrape! came the discordant notes from the groaning instrument.

When he was told by his son that that was called a "violin," he decided he never wanted to hear such a horrible thing again.

The next day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard a sound that seemed to caress his aged ears. He had never heard such an enchanting melody in his mountain valley, so he demanded to find its cause. Following the delightful sound back to its source, he came to a room in the front of a house where an old lady, a maestro, was performning a sonata on a violin.

At once, the old man realized his mistake. The terrible sound that he had heard the previous day was not the fault of the violin, not even the boy. It was just that the young man had yet to learn his instrument.

With a wisdom reserved for the simple folk, the old man thought it was the same with religion. When we come across a religious enthusiast causing such strife with his beliefs, it is incorrect to blame the religion. It is just that the novice has yet to learn his religion well. When we come across a saint, a maestro of her religion, it is such a sweet encounter that it inspires us for many years, whatever their beliefs.

...but that was not the end of the story of the old man and the violin.

The third day, in a different part of the city, the old man heard another sound that surpassed in its beauty and purity even that of the maestro on her violin. What do you think that sound was?

It was as sound more beautiful than the cascade of the mountain stream in spring, the autumn wind through the forrest groves, or the mountain birds singing after a heavy rain. It was even more beautiful then the silence in the mountain hollows on a still winter's night. What was that sound that moved the old man's heart more powerfully than anything before?

It was a large orchestra palying a symphony.

The reason that it was, for the old man, the most beautiful sound in the world was, firstly, that every meember of that orchestra was a maestro of their own instrument; and secondly, that they had further learned how to play together in harmony.

"Maybe it be the same with religion," the old man thought. "Let each one of us learn through the lessons of life that soft heart of our beliefs. Let us each be a maestro of the love within our religion. Then, having learned our religion well, let us go further and learn how to play, like members of an orchestra, with other religions in harmony together!"

That would be the most beautiful sound.

2009-02-25T00:10:00.008+09:00

Inner Silence

I finally went to Mt Emily. A place where Gui & M often visit. It has a quiet charm and rather tranquil; and you feel seated in a private garden.

Read this article relating to WISDOM & INNER SILENCE by Ajahn Brahm which I would like to share in extracts:

Free Speech

I am surprised that speech is still free in our modern market-driven economies. It must only be a matter of time before some cash-strapped government regards words as another commodity and puts a tax on speech.

On reflection, it might not be such a bad idea. Slience would once again become golden. Marriage would last longer as young couples simply couldn't afford the cost of any argument. It would shift the tax burden from the hard workers onto the hard talkers. Of course, the most generous contributors to such a splendid tax scheme would be the politicians themselves. The more they argue in congress of parliment, the more $ would be raised for our hospitals and schools. How satisfying a thought...

Apart from the bright moonlight, this was our source of light during the dinner & wine.

With green tint

With slight purple tint

A traditional source of light

Crowd starts to come in at about 10~ish

We had a bottle of wine, and warm water for the pregnant lady.

Red

2009-02-19T20:57:00.004+09:00

Going With the Flow!

A lil late, this was bro's birthday celebration early last month! We chose Italian -- Bellapizza!

Enjoying Wine

Enjoying Champagne - mafia style

A lil story to share on Going with the Flow by Ajahn Brahm! :)

A wise monk, whom I have known for many years, was hiking with an old friend in an antipodean wilderness. Late one hot afternoon they arrived at a splendid stretch of isolated beach. Even though it is against the monk’s rules to swim just for fun, the blue water was inviting and he needed to cool off after the long walk, so he stripped off and went in.

When he was a young layman, he had been a strong swimmer. But now, as a monk of long standing, it had been many years since he had last swim. After only a couple of minutes of splashing in the surf, he was caught in a strong riptide that began to sweep him out to sea. He was later told that this was a very dangerous beach because of the fierce currents.

At first, the monk tried to swim against the current. He soon realized, though, that the force of the current was too strong for him. His training now came to his aid. He relaxed, let go and went with the flow.

It was an act of great courage to relax in such a situation, as he saw the shoreline recede further and further away.

He was many hundreds of metres away from land when the current diminished. Only then did he start to swim away from the riptide and back towards shore.

He told me that swim back to land took every last ounce of his energy reserves. He reached the beach utterly exhausted. He was certain that, had he tried to fight the current, it would have beaten him. He would have been swept far out to sea just the same, but so depleted in energy that he wouldn’t have made it back. If he hadn’t let go and gone with the flow, he was sure he would have drowned.

Such anecdotes demonstrate that the adage ‘ When there’s nothing to do, then do nothing’ is not fanciful theory. Rather, it can be life-saving wisdom. Whenever the current is stronger than you are, that is the time to go with the flow. When you are able to be effective, that is the time to put forth effort!

2009-02-11T21:35:00.003+09:00

He/ She is coming out soon

Its so cool, KJ should be delivering anytime from now till end of February. She showed me her four cm thick book on pregnancy, which is in English! KJ is a Chinese national, and she has went through this thick reference book, used a English-Chinese dictionary to translate some of the terms, and jotted down notes. She only started learning the English language a year ago! Thats the length a would-be mother would go for her child. I was feeling her stomach - the baby was a bit slanted to the left side of her stomach. So I asked what she does at home daily: She reads the newspapers in the morning, and basically watch TV for the rest of her day mainly.

We went to her room with both our husbands, she had a box of BRAND's InnerShine Berry Essence. She offered one to me and said its only for the girls, guys don't get to drink it. Such a leisurely lifestyle.

I can't wait, I am already planning what I should buy her when she is delivering. Flowers, Fruit basket, or tonic basket?

She wants to bring a video camera when she goes to hospital. I will charge up my camera battery so I can snap photos of her newborn. Her hubby however said, no, don't, in the first week, they look really ugly.

2009-02-07T20:49:00.004+09:00

A Lot of Social Activities!

Hmm. Let's see, during this Chinese New Year I have had Yu Sheng six times. For my international friends, Yu Sheng is a famous salad dish traditionally eaten during the Chinese New Year celebration. It consists of raw fish, colourful vegetable, crackers, and accompanied beautifully by plum sauce.

Its been too many home visits for me. Today, I finally managed to get a good day to myself. I headed for Yoga in the late afternoon, and arranged for a foot massage with my gf. When I finished my yoga, I forgot I was scheduled to go to Hyatt to view a potential wedding venue. Bummer - I had to reschedule my foot massage later, and apologised profusely to my gf who was on her way to town already.

It was also unnecessarily chaotic and hectic on a Saturday. There were many call exchanges between Dad and myself. I was afraid he would be all alone since Mum is overseas. So I tried to invite him to join my activities, but actually he had already lined up a whole lot for himself on Sat - but eh, why couldnt he be frank right from the morning? All the phone ringing while I was having my foot rub, and low batt made my precious Saturday difficult.

Anyways, resting a bit now, and then heading out for a movie Gui picked. I dont even know what show he has booked.

Tomorrow I have another Bai Nian - visiting my boss's home. He is a Canadian, but anyhow, he is hosting a Chinese New Year celebration, and there will be 25 kids i heard! lol

tired and a bit stress... its just starting, but already I can't wait for the wedding preps to be over. We wanted to host it at the Scotts lounge at Grand Hyatt as it has such a classical charm. However they have a project going on, and could be renovating it soon. My mum-in-law said, Well if we really like the Scotts lounge, why dont we wait for it and choose another date. I blurted out immediately, No No, I just want to get it over and done with. She was laughing, she knew the many different rounds were getting on my nerves - ya, would like to get it over and done with - with grace.

So tentatively we might be choosing a Champagne Lunch. My father-in-law LOVES that idea. He wants to see all the guests pissed drunk..

2009-02-01T18:41:00.003+09:00

Its official: Its one more month! She-is-delivering.

Whoa-la... this is her! After carrying a heavy belly for eight months, undeniably, she will be unloading in a month's time.

She is the closest girl friend so far that I have seen a belly grow, by leaps and bounds.

We had dinner together last Friday evening, together with my in-laws and Lama Shifu.

Apparently the doctor has scanned that it would be a boy! Shifu suggested it could be a girl. So this is science versus spirtual. OK... we will know in a month's time. After Shifu left, she didnt seem delighted that its not going to be a boy. Mmmm, I said "Be it boy or girl, its more important that the baby is born healthy."

As Ajahn Brahm puts it, the trigger for much of our anger is frustrated expectation. We sometimes invest so much of ourselves in a project that when it doesn't turn out as it should we become irate. All "should" point to an expectation, a prediction for the future. We might have realized by now that the future is uncertain, unpredictable. Relying too much on an expectation for the future, a "should", is asking for trouble. =)

2009-01-19T22:15:00.004+09:00

Celebrating Another 365 Days that has flew past

Yesterday, we celebrated Por Por's 83rd birthday, in fact at exactly the same venue as last year. Por Por is currently still very active, humorous and energetic at her age.

At Straits Kitchen yesterday, there were about six Birthday celebrations!

The waiters would go to each birthday table and sing a catchy birthday tune while clapping, and provided a slice of birthday cake with a candle.

Every year, my mum-in-law would ask me to take photographs. She would whisper in my ears and say "Frankly, every year that goes by is a bonus".

This is not pessimism. The truth is everyday, time and life is precious. We feed and nourish our body daily. How about nourishing our mind which is equally, if not more important?

2009-01-11T20:25:00.006+09:00

I PREFER NATURE

That was in Wulong - "Fairyland" if I remember correctly. It was one of the most relaxing moments of the trip - fresh air and strolling in the greens. M, Gui and I are kept walking on. The temperature was also very cool @ 15°C. There was no crowd, just lots of desirable space that urban dwellers would love. At that point, we wondered if we were in New Zealand. There were also horses strolling around.

Thats me. I am seldom photographed since I am usually the one behind the camera. Talking about photographs, this weekend I had to seek my girlfriends' opinions on wedding photography. Oh ya coz I am among one of the latest to have a customary wedding dinner now! I now know why I have been putting these preparations off until my in-laws pointed a gun at our brains. Don't ask me why, but I am just not very interested in wedding preparations. I am not sure why. I feel that Gui and I have already progressed on in our relationships - but anyways... I have to do some preparations.

This week has also been busy! We are considering relocating Bobby to London - a difficult & costly decision but we believe it is the best for him. Sumini's contract is ending in April, and my mum-in-law is thinking of getting a part-time one only, until Gui and I return from our holiday in May. I am quite worried about the housework bit - I am not going to deny it!!

Ahhh, isn't looking at this just beautiful? My girlfriends also ask me why I am so thrifty with money? What am I saving them for? I bet they wanted to use the word miser hahaha... but ya I don't throw my $ around looking for brands (only very occasionally) - the only other area I am willing to spend on are my holidays... can't do without in order to keep my sanity =)

This is Wulong crack. We had to climb many steps down to get to the bottom. Tough trip, but staring upwards make it all worthwhile =)))

A Rainbow! Seems that Gui and I tend to see a rainbow whenever we travel. I remember a really beautiful and lengthy one we saw in Chiangmai during breakfast.

As I write this, I know I am tired. Its been a bit of dashing, coordination and lunching. A very well spent weekend. But I am really sleepy. Will hit the sack at 10pm tonight!

2009-01-06T22:36:00.003+09:00

Mysterious Couple @ Forbidden City - looking in in in

Something to smile about, this was taken at Forbidden City, Beijing. It is a remarkable achievement in terms of the complexity of the architecture...

Three days into my work week of 2009. Met up with an ex-colleague, and he felt surprised that I have changed - I no longer place career as my first priority in life. I said of course - life & responsibilities can be different once you get married.

But of course I ponder - which is the real me? Without a partner, would I push on more aggressively in my career goals? Without a partner, would I even need to think about striking a balance? and of course there are days where I look at my girlfriends who stay at home - and need not face the stress of climbing up the corporate ladder; nor trying to keep themselves safe from unethical politics.

Which is better? Guess no one knows. Everyone envies that someone else. Everyone has their own unique path to walk on...everyone should have deep insights into the true nature of their own life...

2009-01-03T13:08:00.003+09:00

Do You See the Light Yet?

For life is the mirror of king and slave.

'Tis just what you are and do;

Then give to the world the best you have,

And the best will come back to you.

-MADELINE BRIDGES

2009 has began, and it is also the time where people start taking out their formidable pen to pin their resolutions. Gui and I would do an annual reflection on the last day of the year, and share thoughts of what is important and what we wana achieve in 2009 ...

On Jan 1 2009, my in-laws organised a New Year lunch at home (bribing us) with spaghetti with pesto sauce, grilled chicken wings and tiger prawns, salad, soup and German white wine. Soon after the hearty meal... the rules were laid out. On the first day of Chinese New Year, I have to follow the Gui family to visit the oldest and most senior member - Por Por.. no longer with my own family.

I have to go up to Kemaman for the QingMing Festival 清明節, and then check out some hotel venues there for a wedding reception in August 09.

Since it is a fresh start to '09, I want to maintain my positivity... so I smile and say 'ok'...

2008-12-31T20:10:00.004+09:00

Happy New Year!!!

Happy 2009, to my friends...!

Never mind I started toasting since noon today...

2008 was kinda rough...definitely looking forward to a great 2009 for my family and all of you guys out there!!!

cheers!

2008-12-28T13:11:00.006+09:00

Where is my Clarity?...

Two months ago, I was up in a mountain. I wanted a rural experience, and was introduced to a mountain village. Up in the mountain, the children looked really carefree. Although a dilapidated home, they had a lot of room and yards to run about. They looked kinda dirty too, but at the same time happy.

I thought that rural experience would have taught me to be grateful and contended. Back in the city, and I have been feeling this way on & off for a while now, I can't help but continue to feel I need something more. How about an inspiration? I just went to Borders to look for one... temporary high... Wait a minute! Is this what people call a mid-life crisis? Am I a ticking clock?...

Oh Crap!

Am I at a fork? Have been thinking about this since the two weeks vacation too. Should I change to a new area of work (bearing in mind that learning something new would also create more stress); just try to keep my current job stable; plan for a baby & introduce a new meaning in life; start cooking; take on more serious photography and travel the world; get serious with Dharma learning? I'm freaking out...where is my inspiration?

Does any girl out there feel my way? Is there anyone out there experiencing a fork of decisions, or just always contended and happy with everyday life? Should I push ahead or learn contentment? I need inspiration...

2008-12-25T16:32:00.006+09:00

An Annual Home Affair

Christmas Dinner 2008

Every year for the past ooooh so many years now we have a Christmas eve dinner, followed by a log cake, and of course the exchange of Christmas presents. This year though we broke the tradition a bit, by bringing forward the cake cutting and exchange of gifts, instead of the usual clock strikes 12am fun. Before I venture off on the wonderful presents received this year, this dinner was also different not only in terms of style, but we had a rather serious and brainy discussion. It was about the future of Dad's business. No details to be revealed here. A wee bit stressful don't you think?

The serious discussion was relieved by the holiday treat of ripping off the Christmas gifts! According to BBG, customer visits to U.S. retailers fell 24% last weekend compared with 2007, the biggest drop on record, as deepened discounts failed to attract consumers. Tough times call for tough measures! We were also more practical with gift exchanges this year. A simple present that I like from my pile this year was a book from my lil brother. "be happy" by Monica Sheehan...his Christmas greetings to me written in the book was "..Never lose sight of what is the most important thing in life.."

Today is the end of my two weeks vacation. An interesting discovery of myself during the two weeks. I didn't need coffee every morning to kick-start my system... I didnt know I could simply stay at home, read and listen to music, and sometimes idle my time away...I always thought I cannot slow down, and fear staying at home, rotting and getting bored. With this pocket of opportunity, I actually realize I can...although I am not sure if this can lasts long... but I realize I can... I can enjoy the simple joy of staying home (without any housework please...).

Christmas dinner prepared by Mum

Ice-cream log cake

2008-12-23T16:12:00.002+09:00

Tang Yuan 汤圆

This year's Dong Zhi 冬至 celebration was different. During the weekend, my in-laws invited my family over for dinner and tang yuan. What was also different was I had to start rolling the tang yuan since 1pm in the afternoon. I was rolling it together with Por Por, Sumini and Sri. They were teaching me how to roll so that it is Really Round...and also the symbolic meaning behind rolling (besides eating it..yum!) the balls.

Brown Sugar wrapped in each dang yuan

To make this, you will need glutinous rice flour. Well, Sri and Sumini both prepared the dough, the white and the pink respectively. The glutinous rice flour is mixed with a small amount of water till it "feels right". Sorry I don't know the recipe here, I mainly participated in the more fun bit, which was filling it with brown sugar in the middle, and rolling it into a ball.

Eating dang yuan in a must for the Dong Zhi celebration. This year, the festival falls on 21 December, Sunday. It is also known as the Winter Solstice Festival.

In modern times, many Chinese, especially Singaporeans, have probably stopped celebrating this occasion.

It is supposed to symbolize unity in a family. I ate 18 balls that evening!

Hopefully this rekindles your memory of having eaten dang yuan with your older generation. It is definitely easier to buy the frozen ones from Supermarket, but nothing beats gathering around a huge tray, chatting about the significance of this day, and rolling it for your family!